Everybody's got stuff goin' on outside of work. That effects what we've got goin' on inside of work, whether you want it to or not.
Take a moment as you being a meeting or start pairing to check in with folks and see how they're doing.
At the end of a meeting where remote participants are present, dont kill the zoom until everyone has left the zoom or you are the last one out of the room. That way any post-meeting conversations that pop up will be accessible
At the 'end' of a discussion, have 30 seconds of silence and then ask if anyone has anything to add.
Some people need to synthesize what they have heard, and they can't do that while other people are talking. It's a nice inclusion move.
Actively Listen to what other people are saying, rather than planning what you are going to say about your proposed solution.
This is kind, especially to remote employees who may have no other way to get your attention.
However, "periodically" doesn't have to mean "constantly". In fact, there's an increasing body of scientific evidence that suggests constant interruptions are bad for knowledge workers (see "Deep Work" by Cal Newport).
It could be once an hour, or once a day, depending on what is appropriate for your current role on the team.
Just check it regularly!
This is called "reflective listening".
https://realtimeboard.com works well for this.
It is quite common to respond to an inquiry or opportunity with "yes, but", and this can easily take the steam out of the power of saying "yes."
https://www.businessinsider.com/the-power-of-yes-and-versus-yes-but-2015-10
Find yourself feeling less than encouraging about someone else's idea? Maybe there’s an unconscious bias steering you there, and an opportunity to figure out why you’re reacting negatively.
Here are a few thoughts about getting your point across without anyone feeling bad:
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Wait until someone’s done, then ask a clarifying question - Instead of pointing out all the ways in which something would never work, ask your team-mate about how they’d address those things. After hearing them out, start out with something like, “Interesting...how would we tackle…”. In pitch presos there’s time for questions at the end. And maybe we should always take the Design Studio approach, where you can only ask questions or point out things you like. (and saying “'This is bad' or 'I don't like it' aren’t acceptable).
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Go into problem solving mode - Approach it from the angle that you want to make an idea work. By talking through how to do that, something even better could come out of it. And if not, your team-mate will at least know you made a genuine attempt to collaborate on their idea, rather than dismissing it with zero consideration.
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Dial up the empathy - Think about how you felt, or would feel, if someone tried to stamp down one of your ideas, especially in front of the rest of the team. Let everyone judge for themselves and even if an idea turns out not to be worth pursuing, at least head to that conclusion together, kindly and with an open mind.
Listen to http://agilein3minutes.com/37
What do your favorite conversations feel like?
Talk to your pair (or find someone on your pod) and have a conversation about how they prefer to give and receive feedback. Do you prefer in-person feedback, emailed, anonymized or long-form 5-paragraph essay? Immediately, at the end of the day or ?
Everyone wants feedback but not everyone has the same preferences around it. Help your teammates (and you) understand when it's appropriate and helpful to give and receive feedback!
Relevant Twitter thread by Charity Majors: https://twitter.com/mipsytipsy/status/1038918815499735040
E.g.: Following up on something someone said, emailed, or messaged if it bugs you, to quickly clear up any misunderstanding or friction.
See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People
- Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain
- Give Honest, Sincere, Appreciation
- Arouse In The Other Person An Eager Want
- Become Genuinely Interested In Other People
- Smile
- Remember That A Person's Name Is To That Person The Sweetest And Most Important Sound In Any Language
- Be A Good Listener. Encourage Others To Talk About Themselves
- Talk In Terms Of The Other Person's Interests
- Make The Other Person Feel Important - And Do It Sincerely
- The Only Way To Get The Best Of An Argument Is To Avoid It
- Show Respect For The Other Person's Opinion. Never Say, "You're Wrong."
- If You Are Wrong Admit It Quickly And Emphatically
- Begin In A Friendly Manner
- Get The Other Person Saying "Yes, Yes"
- Let The Other Person Do A Great Deal Of The Talking
- Let The Other Person Feel That The Idea Is His Or Hers
- Try Honestly To See Things From The Other Person's Point Of View
- Be Sympathetic With The Other Person's Ideas And Desires
- Appeal To The Nobler Motives
- Dramatize Your Ideas
- Throw Down A Challenge
- Begin With Praise And Honest Appreciation
- Call Attention To People's Mistakes Indirectly
- Talk About Your Own Mistakes Before Criticizing The Other Person
- Ask Questions Instead Of Giving Direct Orders
- Let The Other Person Save Face
- Praise The Slightest Improvement And Praise Every Improvement. Be "Hearty In Your Approbation And Lavish In Your Praise".
- Give The Other Person A Fine Reputation To Live Up To
- Use Encouragement. Make The Fault Seem Easy To Correct
- Make The Other Person Happy About Doing The Thing You Suggest
Lots of ideas here. Here's an example mailing list email, which contains links to their Twitter/Medium/Instagram/Pintrest:
https://mailchi.mp/1b1bc92a4e63/5-ally-actions-nov-9-2018?e=[UNIQID]
For an "Incomplete" guide, this is a very extensive summary of many topics around Diversity and Inclusion in tech:
https://open.buffer.com/inclusive-language-tech/
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RBydqkvhjawbSxEUSWV01G0sWpmFWy0jXLGBAUmmwII/edit
Office housework includes cleaning workstations, scheduling the next meeting, taking notes at a meeting (when it’s not your job), collecting money for a coworker’s birthday gift, cleaning up the pizza boxes after a lunch meeting, or, even in a more technical nature, cleaning up comments in the code before it ships. These are necessary tasks, but they don’t lead to bottom-line results.
Help keep work areas clean. Even if it doesn’t bother you it might be bothering someone else, and it is not their job to clean up after you.
Other things: taking notes in meetings, following up on action items, cleaning up after a meeting. Simple, everyday actions make a big difference.
In a study done of women in Silicon valley, almost half of women with more than 10 years of experience were asked to do “office housework” that their male counterparts were not asked to do.
More information here: https://medium.com/pluralsight/diversity-in-tech-3-ways-more-inclusive-workpace-7e65aa1b0545
PSU Research Shows that Expressing Gratitude Improves Physical and Mental Health
Express gratitude when you see someone doing a good job. A positive feedback loop impacts you and those around you, and can ultimately shape a healthier and happier community.
https://courses.lumenlearning.com/wm-principlesofmanagement/chapter/common-management-biases/
Enrico Teotti has a good article on measuring your retrospectives. Here's the highlights:
Action items and experiments resulting from retros should be SMART: Specific Measurable Achievable/Actionable Relevant Timebound
Measure team engagement at the beginning of the retro by asking what ESVP role they are: Explorer Shopper Vacationer Prisoner
Measure the return of time invested at the end of the retro (ROTI): 4 = Excellent 3 = Above average 2 = Average 1 = Below average 0 = Useless
https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
"Spoon theory" helps us understand and empathize with people who suffer from chronic conditions, such as pain, fatigue, depression, anxiety, etc.
This week, if someone seems tired or irratable, ask them how they are doing, and have a discussion about how many spoons you each currently have.