Simple function to add smart apostrophes to the end of a string.

plural.php

// see if a string ends in 's' and add aprostrophes accordingly
// optionally adds an 's' to the end of a string depending if $count is supplied
function plural($str,$count=null) {
	if($count != null) {
		if($count == 0 || $count > 1) {
			if(substr($str,-1) == 's') {
				return $count.' '.$str;
			} else {
				return $count.' '.$str.'s';
			}			
		} else {
			return $count.' '.$str;
		}
	} else {
		if(substr($str,-1) == 's') {
			return $str."'";
		} else {
			return $str."'s";
		}
	}
}

# determine whether to use 'are' or 'is' in a sentence
function are_is($count) {
	if($count > 1) {
		return 'are';
	} else {
		return 'is';
	}
}

// usage
$name1 = 'Chris';
$food1 = 'gyro';
$total_food1 = 1;

$name2 = 'Tim';
$food2 = 'beer';
$total_food2 = 20;

echo 'That salad is '.plural($name1).'<br>';
echo 'There '.are_is($total_food1).' '.plural($food1,$total_food1).'<br><br>';

echo 'That pizza is '.plural($name2).'<br>';
echo 'There '.are_is($total_food2).' '.plural($food2,$total_food2).'<br>';