drumkify.py

"""
makes text read like it was written by a drunk person

er, makes txet rea dlike i twas rwitten by a durnk persob
"""
import random
import sys


drinks = float(sys.argv[1])


for line in sys.stdin:
    characters = []
    iterator = enumerate(line)
    for i, character in iterator:
        if character == 'n':
            character = 'b' if random.random() > (1 - (0.02 * drinks)) else 'n'
        elif character == 'i' and line[i+1:i+3] == 'ng' and random.random() > (1 - (0.05 * drinks)):
            character = 'ig'
            next(iterator)
            next(iterator)
        elif character.isalpha() and random.random() > (1 - (0.005 * drinks)) and len(line) > i:
            character = ''.join((next(iterator)[1], character))
        elif random.random() > (1 - (0.001 * drinks)):
            character = character.upper()
        characters.append(character)
    sys.stdout.write(''.join(characters))