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July 15, 2016 20:30
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@deadlydizzle's Vice Magazine Headline Generator script
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/* Vice Magazine Headline Generator script | |
Author: David Alexander (ddly.co / @deadlydizzle) | |
Version: 1.0 September 1, 2014 | |
License: GNU General Public License, version 3.0 (GPLv3) | |
*/ | |
// Tell JSLint's 'defined but never used' error to take a hike | |
/* exported setHeadline */ | |
// One big function that eventually returns a random headline as a string, probably really inefficiently | |
function randomHeadline() { | |
// add the word types to individual arrays | |
// pick a random word from each array | |
var age = [ | |
"Young", | |
"Teenage", | |
"Old", | |
"Over the Hill" | |
]; | |
var randomAge = age[Math.round(Math.random() * (age.length - 1))]; | |
var amount = [ | |
"3", | |
"4", | |
"5", | |
"6", | |
"7", | |
"8", | |
"9", | |
"10", | |
"11", | |
"12", | |
"13", | |
"14", | |
"15", | |
"16", | |
"17", | |
"18", | |
"19", | |
"20", | |
"21", | |
"22", | |
"23", | |
"99" | |
]; | |
var randomAmount = amount[Math.round(Math.random() * (amount.length - 1))]; | |
var answer = [ | |
"Decides", | |
"Doesn\'t Have a Clue", | |
"Finds Out", | |
"Goes Undercover", | |
"Is Undecided", | |
"Knows the Answer", | |
"Sleeps His Way to the Answer", | |
"Uncovers the Truth" | |
]; | |
var randomAnswer = answer[Math.round(Math.random() * (answer.length - 1))]; | |
var boughtSold = [ | |
"Bought", | |
"Gave Away", | |
"Sold", | |
"Flogged", | |
"Shifted", | |
"Purchased" | |
]; | |
var randomBoughtSold = boughtSold[Math.round(Math.random() * (boughtSold.length - 1))]; | |
var changing = [ | |
"Building", | |
"Dead", | |
"Defunct", | |
"Developing", | |
"Done For", | |
"Dying", | |
"Enduring", | |
"Flourishing", | |
"Gaining Credibility", | |
"Gathering Momentum", | |
"Growing", | |
"Lacking Credibility", | |
"Mushrooming", | |
"No More", | |
"Surviving" | |
]; | |
var randomChanging = changing[Math.round(Math.random() * (changing.length - 1))]; | |
// var cool = [ | |
// "Cool", | |
// "Contemporary", | |
// "Edgy", | |
// "Hip" | |
// ]; | |
// var randomCool = cool[Math.round(Math.random() * (cool.length - 1))]; | |
var coolest = [ | |
"Coolest", | |
"Most Contemporary", | |
"Edgiest", | |
"Hippest" | |
]; | |
var randomCoolest = coolest[Math.round(Math.random() * (coolest.length - 1))]; | |
// split these so the same one isn't chosen twice in one sentence | |
var drugTaking1 = [ | |
"Anal Funnelling", | |
"Bombing", | |
"Dabbing", | |
"Gumming", | |
"Hoofing", | |
"Ingesting", | |
"Injecting", | |
"Mainlining" | |
]; | |
var randomDrugTaking1 = drugTaking1[Math.round(Math.random() * (drugTaking1.length - 1))]; | |
var drugTaking2 = [ | |
"Racking up", | |
"Shelving", | |
"Smoking", | |
"Sniffing", | |
"Snorting", | |
"Space Blasting", | |
"Speedballing", | |
"Swallowing", | |
"Taking" | |
]; | |
var randomDrugTaking2 = drugTaking2[Math.round(Math.random() * (drugTaking2.length - 1))]; | |
// combine to give max choice in headlines with only on of these | |
var drugTaking = drugTaking1.concat(drugTaking2); | |
var randomDrugTaking = drugTaking[Math.round(Math.random() * (drugTaking.length - 1))]; | |
var drug1 = [ | |
"2C-B", | |
"Acid", | |
"Amphetamines", | |
"Angel Dust", | |
"Base", | |
"Basuco", | |
"Birdie Powder", | |
"Blowcaine", | |
"Butane", | |
"Crack Cocaine", | |
"Crystal Meth", | |
"Ecstasy", | |
"Freebase", | |
"GHB" | |
]; | |
var randomDrug1 = drug1[Math.round(Math.random() * (drug1.length - 1))]; | |
var drug2 = [ | |
"Glue", | |
"Gutter Glitter", | |
"Heroin", | |
"Ketamin", | |
"Krokodil", | |
"LSD", | |
"Magic Mushrooms", | |
"Mescalin", | |
"Mephedrone", | |
"MCAT", | |
"Narcotics", | |
"Nose Candy", | |
"PCP", | |
"Rohypnol", | |
"Shrooms", | |
"Weasel Dust", | |
"Weed" | |
]; | |
var randomDrug2 = drug2[Math.round(Math.random() * (drug2.length - 1))]; | |
var drug = drug1.concat(drug2); | |
var randomDrug = drug[Math.round(Math.random() * (drug.length - 1))]; | |
var fake = [ | |
"Bogus", | |
"Fake", | |
"Phony", | |
"Counterfeit", | |
"Moody", | |
"Dodgy" | |
]; | |
var randomFake = fake[Math.round(Math.random() * (fake.length - 1))]; | |
var familyMember = [ | |
"Brother", | |
"Brother-in-Law", | |
"Chef", | |
"Cleaner", | |
"Cousin", | |
"Dad", | |
"Gay Best Friend", | |
"Grandfather", | |
"Gym Buddy", | |
"Male Stripper", | |
"Neighbour", | |
"Pet Dog", | |
"Postman", | |
"Step Brother", | |
"Uncle" | |
]; | |
var randomFamilyMember = familyMember[Math.round(Math.random() * (familyMember.length - 1))]; | |
var festival = [ | |
"Burning Man", | |
"Boomfest", | |
"Coachella", | |
"Creamfields", | |
"Donauinselfest", | |
"Field Day", | |
"Glastonbury", | |
"Global Gathering", | |
"Lovebox", | |
"Mawazine", | |
"Przystanek Woodstock", | |
"Rock in Rio", | |
"Sonar", | |
"SXSW", | |
"Sundance", | |
"Warehouse Project" | |
]; | |
var randomFestival = festival[Math.round(Math.random() * (festival.length - 1))]; | |
var genre = [ | |
"Ambient-pop", | |
"Baile Funk", | |
"Breakcore", | |
"Britstep", | |
"Bro-step", | |
"Chillwave", | |
"Clownstep", | |
"Cumbia", | |
"Doghouse", | |
"Danger Music", | |
"Drillstep", | |
"Nu-disco", | |
"No-wave", | |
"Niche", | |
"Crunkstep", | |
"DnB-core", | |
"Dubstep", | |
"Post-EDM", | |
"Pre-IDM", | |
"Farmcore", | |
"Folk-tronica", | |
"Hardcore barbershop-tronica", | |
"Hymntronica", | |
"Post-punk", | |
"Post-trap", | |
"Psytrance", | |
"Rape-gaze", | |
"Sadcore", | |
"Seapunk", | |
"Scouse House", | |
"Shitcore", | |
"Soft Grunge", | |
"Sprock", | |
"Tumblrcore", | |
"Witchhouse" | |
]; | |
var randomGenre = genre[Math.round(Math.random() * (genre.length - 1))]; | |
var gigged = [ | |
"Appeared as a Hologram at", | |
"Beatboxed at", | |
"Freestyled at", | |
"Gigged at", | |
"Rejected", | |
"Played" | |
]; | |
var randomGigged = gigged[Math.round(Math.random() * (gigged.length - 1))]; | |
var guide = [ | |
"Explorations in", | |
"Guide to", | |
"Tour of", | |
"Travels in", | |
"Trip Around" | |
]; | |
var randomGuide = guide[Math.round(Math.random() * (guide.length - 1))]; | |
var group = [ | |
"Cartel", | |
"Crew", | |
"Faction", | |
"Gang", | |
"Group", | |
"Subculture", | |
"Tribe" | |
]; | |
var randomGroup = group[Math.round(Math.random() * (group.length - 1))]; | |
var gang = [ | |
"The Bloods", | |
"The Crips", | |
"The Mungiki", | |
"The Russian Mob", | |
"Los Zetas", | |
"The 18th Street Gang", | |
"The Mongols", | |
"The Triads", | |
"The Texas Syndicate", | |
"The IRA", | |
"The Cosa Nostra", | |
"The Hell’s Angels", | |
"The Yakuza", | |
"The Black Guerrilla Family", | |
"Wah Ching", | |
"The Aryan Brotherhood", | |
"The Jamaican Posse", | |
"The Burger Bar Boys", | |
"The Croxteth Crew", | |
"The Peckham Boys", | |
"The Tijuana Cartel" | |
]; | |
var randomGang = gang[Math.round(Math.random() * (gang.length - 1))]; | |
var we = [ | |
"I", | |
"We" | |
]; | |
var randomWe = we[Math.round(Math.random() * (we.length - 1))]; | |
var musicScene = [ | |
"Scene" | |
]; | |
var randomMusicScene = musicScene[Math.round(Math.random() * (musicScene.length - 1))]; | |
var nationality = [ | |
"Bolivian", | |
"Bosnian", | |
"British", | |
"Brazilian", | |
"Bulgarian", | |
"Burmese", | |
"Cambodian", | |
"Canadian", | |
"Chechnyan", | |
"Chilean", | |
"Chinese", | |
"Costa Rican", | |
"Crimean", | |
"Cuban", | |
"Ghanain", | |
"Guatemalan", | |
"Hungarian", | |
"Japanese", | |
"Jordanian", | |
"Lebanese", | |
"Liberian", | |
"Lithuanian", | |
"Macedonian", | |
"Mexican", | |
"Moldovan", | |
"Mongolian", | |
"Moscovite", | |
"Nicaraguan", | |
"North Korean", | |
"Palestinian", | |
"Pakistani", | |
"Persian", | |
"Peruvian", | |
"Philipino", | |
"Polynesian", | |
"Romanian", | |
"Russian", | |
"Serbian", | |
"Scandinavian", | |
"Somali", | |
"South African", | |
"Sri Lankan", | |
"Syrian", | |
"Venezuelan", | |
"Vietnamese", | |
"Zambian", | |
"Zimbabwean" | |
]; | |
var randomNationality = nationality[Math.round(Math.random() * (nationality.length - 1))]; | |
var object1 = [ | |
"Bazooka", | |
"Beer Can", | |
"Beard Trimmer", | |
"Baseball Bat", | |
"Burka", | |
"Blood Clot", | |
"Broken Bottle", | |
"Condom", | |
"Drill", | |
"Drum Kit", | |
"Fixie", | |
"Glow Stick", | |
"Helmet", | |
"Kalashnikov", | |
"Keyboard", | |
"MacBook", | |
"Lego Brick" | |
]; | |
var randomObject1 = object1[Math.round(Math.random() * (object1.length - 1))]; | |
var object2 = [ | |
"Light Sabre", | |
"Lighter", | |
"Machete", | |
"Nailgun", | |
"Neon Light", | |
"Needle", | |
"Plaster", | |
"Plastic Fork", | |
"Riot Shield", | |
"Rifle", | |
"Rocket Launcher", | |
"Rubber Duck", | |
"Samurai Sword", | |
"Synthesizer", | |
"Tampon", | |
"Thong", | |
"TV Remote" | |
]; | |
var randomObject2 = object2[Math.round(Math.random() * (object2.length - 1))]; | |
var object = object1.concat(object2); | |
var randomObject = object[Math.round(Math.random() * (object.length - 1))]; | |
var occupation1 = [ | |
"Barista", | |
"Bouncer", | |
"Burger Flipper", | |
"Child Porn Fanatic", | |
"Creative", | |
"Death Row Inmate", | |
"Deep Sea Diver", | |
"Donkey Fluffer", | |
"Drug Addict", | |
"Drug Baron", | |
"Film Maker", | |
"Fishmonger", | |
"Graffiti Crew Member", | |
"Hacker", | |
"Hooker", | |
"Hipster", | |
"Human Trafficker", | |
"Jimmy Saville impersonator" | |
]; | |
var randomOccupation1 = occupation1[Math.round(Math.random() * (occupation1.length - 1))]; | |
var occupation2 = [ | |
"Media Runner", | |
"Midget Stripper", | |
"Mime Artist", | |
"Miner", | |
"Necrophiliac", | |
"Pig Farmer", | |
"Pirate", | |
"Priest", | |
"Programmer", | |
"Psychologist", | |
"Prostitute", | |
"Rapper", | |
"Rocket Scientist", | |
"Scatologist", | |
"Serial Killer", | |
"Sex Slave", | |
"Socialite", | |
"Supermodel", | |
"Steel Worker", | |
"Taxi Driver" | |
]; | |
var randomOccupation2 = occupation2[Math.round(Math.random() * (occupation2.length - 1))]; | |
var occupation = occupation1.concat(occupation2); | |
var randomOccupation = occupation[Math.round(Math.random() * (occupation.length - 1))]; | |
var person1 = [ | |
"Aaron Schwarz", | |
"Adolf Hitler", | |
"Angela Merkel", | |
"Barack Obama", | |
"Bashar al-Assad", | |
"Ben Affleck", | |
"Beyonce", | |
"Bill Clinton", | |
"Britney Spears", | |
"Brian Blessed", | |
"Calvin Harris", | |
"Cara Delevingne", | |
"Chairman Mao", | |
"Charles Taylor", | |
"Che Guevara", | |
"Colonel Qaddafi", | |
"Condoleezza Rice", | |
"Courtney Love", | |
"Chris Brown", | |
"Chuck D", | |
"Dr. Dre", | |
"Daniel Radcliffe", | |
"David Bowie", | |
"David Letterman", | |
"Dick Cheney", | |
"Drew Barrymore", | |
"Fidel Castro", | |
"Gary Glitter", | |
"George W. Bush", | |
"Harry Styles", | |
"Heisenberg", | |
"Hilary Clinton", | |
"Hugo Chavez", | |
"James Franco", | |
"Jay-Z", | |
"Jason Biggs", | |
"John Belushi", | |
"John Lennon", | |
"Justin Bieber", | |
"Kanye West" | |
]; | |
var randomPerson1 = person1[Math.round(Math.random() * (person1.length - 1))]; | |
var person2 = [ | |
"Kanye West", | |
"Kelsey Grammar", | |
"Kim Dotcom", | |
"Kim Jong Un", | |
"Lenin", | |
"Lil Wayne", | |
"Lindsay Lohan", | |
"Mahmoud Ahmadinejad", | |
"Marilyn Monroe", | |
"Matthew McConaughey", | |
"Method Man", | |
"Michael Barrymore", | |
"Michael Jackson", | |
"Miley Cyrus", | |
"Mike Tyson", | |
"Mitt Romney", | |
"Morgan Freeman", | |
"Mussolini", | |
"Nigel Farage", | |
"Nigella Lawson", | |
"Nick Griffin", | |
"Notorious B.I.G.", | |
"Paris Hilton", | |
"Paul McCartney", | |
"Peaches Geldof", | |
"Phil Collins", | |
"Pol Pot", | |
"Psy", | |
"Puff Daddy", | |
"R Kelly", | |
"Ricky Gervais", | |
"Richard Dawkins", | |
"Rihanna", | |
"Robert Downey Jr.", | |
"Robert Mugabe", | |
"Robin Thicke", | |
"Rolf Harris", | |
"Ryan Gosling", | |
"Saddam Hussein", | |
"Satan", | |
"Seth Rogen", | |
"Shakespeare", | |
"Snoop Dogg", | |
"Soldier Boy", | |
"Stanley Kubrick", | |
"Stalin", | |
"Tara Reid", | |
"Tupac", | |
"Vladimir Putin" | |
]; | |
var randomPerson2 = person2[Math.round(Math.random() * (person2.length - 1))]; | |
var person = person1.concat(person2); | |
var randomPerson = person[Math.round(Math.random() * (person.length - 1))]; | |
var place1 = [ | |
"Bangkok", | |
"Beirut", | |
"Belgrade", | |
"Berlin", | |
"Borneo", | |
"Brooklyn", | |
"Chile", | |
"Croydon", | |
"Cuba", | |
"Denmark", | |
"Egypt", | |
"Gaza", | |
"Guadalahara", | |
"Hackney", | |
"Hanoi", | |
"Helsinki", | |
"Iran", | |
"Iraq", | |
"Jerusalem" | |
]; | |
var randomPlace1 = place1[Math.round(Math.random() * (place1.length - 1))]; | |
var place2 = [ | |
"Johannesburg", | |
"Kiev", | |
"Lebanon", | |
"Montenegro", | |
"Moscow", | |
"NY", | |
"North Korea", | |
"Osaka", | |
"Pakistan", | |
"Penang", | |
"Russia", | |
"Santiago", | |
"Seoul", | |
"Serbia", | |
"Sudan", | |
"Syria", | |
"Timbuktu", | |
"Zagreb", | |
"Zurich", | |
"Houston", | |
"Ukraine", | |
"Congo", | |
"Sao Paolo", | |
"Williamsburg" | |
]; | |
var randomPlace2 = place2[Math.round(Math.random() * (place2.length - 1))]; | |
var place = place1.concat(place2); | |
var randomPlace = place[Math.round(Math.random() * (place.length - 1))]; | |
var sexualOrientation = [ | |
"Gay", | |
"Homosexual", | |
"Lesbian", | |
"Feminist", | |
"Queer" | |
]; | |
var randomSexualOrientation = sexualOrientation[Math.round(Math.random() * (sexualOrientation.length - 1))]; | |
var scenario = [ | |
"At College", | |
"At Work", | |
"Conducting Sacrifices", | |
"In a Coma", | |
"In Bed", | |
"In Rehab", | |
"In School", | |
"At a Sex Party", | |
"In the Studio", | |
"On Location", | |
"On the Streets", | |
"On Vacation", | |
"Playing Poker", | |
"Playing Russian Roulette", | |
"Undercover", | |
"Underground" | |
]; | |
var randomScenario = scenario[Math.round(Math.random() * (scenario.length - 1))]; | |
var statuses = [ | |
"Bi-curious", | |
"Down Syndrome", | |
"Thalidomide", | |
"Paraplegic", | |
"Transgender" | |
]; | |
// Commented out because never used (always combined) | |
// var randomStatus = statuses[Math.round(Math.random() * (statuses.length - 1))]; | |
var swapping = [ | |
"Exchanging", | |
"Substituting", | |
"Swapping", | |
"Switching", | |
"Trading" | |
]; | |
var randomSwapping = swapping[Math.round(Math.random() * (swapping.length - 1))]; | |
var time = [ | |
"24 Hours", | |
"48 Hours", | |
"5 Minutes", | |
"72 Hours", | |
"A Fucking Eternity", | |
"A Month", | |
"A Week", | |
"A Year", | |
"A Decade", | |
"Channukah", | |
"Christmas", | |
"Easter", | |
"Eid", | |
"Halloween", | |
"January", | |
"Passover", | |
"Fucking Ages", | |
"Way Too Long" | |
]; | |
var randomTime = time[Math.round(Math.random() * (time.length - 1))]; | |
var tvShow = [ | |
"Archer", | |
"Arrested Development", | |
"Avatar", | |
"Batman", | |
"Breaking Bad", | |
"CSI", | |
"Dexter", | |
"Doctor Who", | |
"Fawlty Towers", | |
"Friends", | |
"Game of Thrones", | |
"Harry Potter", | |
"House of Cards", | |
"Lost", | |
"Mad Men", | |
"M.A.S.H.", | |
"Seinfeld", | |
"Star Trek", | |
"Star Wars", | |
"The Killing", | |
"The Sopranos", | |
"The Tonight Show", | |
"The X Files", | |
"The Wire", | |
"Top Gear", | |
"True Detective", | |
"Twin Peaks", | |
"T.O.W.I.E.", | |
"Catfish" | |
]; | |
var randomTvShow = tvShow[Math.round(Math.random() * (tvShow.length - 1))]; | |
// to sort | |
var pain = [ | |
"Killed", | |
"Tortured", | |
"Molested", | |
"Executed", | |
"Strangled", | |
"Murdered", | |
"Whored Out", | |
"Violated", | |
"Defiled", | |
"Abused", | |
"Assaulted" | |
]; | |
var randomPain = pain[Math.round(Math.random() * (pain.length - 1))]; | |
var religion = [ | |
"Christian", | |
"Hindu", | |
"Jewish", | |
"Muslim", | |
"Scientologist", | |
"Buddhist", | |
"Taoist", | |
"Sikh", | |
"Pagan", | |
"Kemetist" | |
]; | |
var randomReligion = religion[Math.round(Math.random() * (religion.length - 1))]; | |
var socialMediaAction = [ | |
"Posted it on Facebook", | |
"Live Tweeted the Whole Thing", | |
"Instagrammed the Shit out of it", | |
"Built an App for it", | |
"Made a Hilarious Vine of it", | |
"Started an AMA on Reddit", | |
"Created an Account for it on Tinder", | |
"Sent Out a Bunch of Snapchats", | |
"Slapped it on Youtube" | |
]; | |
var randomSocialMediaAction = socialMediaAction[Math.round(Math.random() * (socialMediaAction.length - 1))]; | |
var socialNetwork = [ | |
"Facebook", | |
"Twitter", | |
"Instragram", | |
"Secret", | |
"Grindr", | |
"Vine", | |
"Reddit", | |
"Tinder", | |
"Snapchat", | |
"MySpace", | |
"AirBnB" | |
]; | |
var randomSocialNetwork = socialNetwork[Math.round(Math.random() * (socialNetwork.length - 1))]; | |
var doingBad = [ | |
"Fellating", | |
"Having Sex with", | |
"Kissing" | |
]; | |
var randomDoingBad = doingBad[Math.round(Math.random() * (doingBad.length - 1))]; | |
var found = [ | |
"Caught", | |
"Documented", | |
"Filmed", | |
"Found" | |
]; | |
var randomFound = found[Math.round(Math.random() * (found.length - 1))]; | |
var worst = [ | |
"Most Backward Place We\'ve Ever Been", | |
"Seediest Place in the World", | |
"Most Dangerous Place on Earth" | |
]; | |
var randomWorst = worst[Math.round(Math.random() * (worst.length - 1))]; | |
var howWhy = [ | |
"How", | |
"Why" | |
]; | |
var randomHowWhy = howWhy[Math.round(Math.random() * (howWhy.length - 1))]; | |
var articleType = [ | |
"The Definitive Guide", | |
"A Documentary", | |
"We Go Deep Undercover" | |
]; | |
var randomArticleType = articleType[Math.round(Math.random() * (articleType.length - 1))]; | |
var front = [ | |
"Just a Front for", | |
"Full of", | |
"Packed with", | |
"A Facade For" | |
]; | |
var randomFront = front[Math.round(Math.random() * (front.length - 1))]; | |
var band = [ | |
"Band" | |
]; | |
var randomBand = band[Math.round(Math.random() * (band.length - 1))]; | |
var lived = [ | |
"Lived as", | |
"Began Life as", | |
"Masqueraded as", | |
"Pretended to be" | |
]; | |
var randomLived = lived[Math.round(Math.random() * (lived.length - 1))]; | |
var reason = [ | |
"For No Reason At All", | |
"For Shits and Giggles", | |
"For A laugh", | |
"As a Wind Up", | |
"For Fun", | |
"Because That\'s Journalism", | |
"To Write This Article", | |
"As a Joke" | |
]; | |
var randomReason = reason[Math.round(Math.random() * (reason.length - 1))]; | |
var save = [ | |
"Save", | |
"Stop", | |
"Prevent" | |
]; | |
var randomSave = save[Math.round(Math.random() * (save.length - 1))]; | |
var debating = [ | |
"Debating", | |
"Deliberating", | |
"Considering" | |
]; | |
var randomDebating = debating[Math.round(Math.random() * (debating.length - 1))]; | |
var discover = [ | |
"Discover", | |
"Find Out", | |
"See" | |
]; | |
var randomDiscover = discover[Math.round(Math.random() * (discover.length - 1))]; | |
var went = [ | |
"Went To", | |
"Flew To", | |
"Travelled To", | |
"Hitchhiked To" | |
]; | |
var randomWent = went[Math.round(Math.random() * (went.length - 1))]; | |
var happened = [ | |
"Happened", | |
"Went On", | |
"Went Down" | |
]; | |
var randomHappened = happened[Math.round(Math.random() * (happened.length - 1))]; | |
var human = [ | |
"Man", | |
"Woman", | |
"Child", | |
"Teenager", | |
"Girl", | |
"Boy", | |
"Baby" | |
]; | |
var randomHuman = human[Math.round(Math.random() * (human.length - 1))]; | |
var met = [ | |
"Met", | |
"Stumbled Across", | |
"Found", | |
"Ignored" | |
]; | |
var randomMet = met[Math.round(Math.random() * (met.length - 1))]; | |
var member = [ | |
"A Member", | |
"A Representative", | |
"A Foe", | |
"An Ememy", | |
"A Whistleblower" | |
]; | |
var randomMember = member[Math.round(Math.random() * (member.length - 1))]; | |
// combinations | |
var placeFestival = place.concat(festival); | |
var randomPlaceFestival = placeFestival[Math.round(Math.random() * (placeFestival.length - 1))]; | |
var statusReligion = statuses.concat(religion); | |
var randomStatusReligion = statusReligion[Math.round(Math.random() * (statusReligion.length - 1))]; | |
var statusReligionNationality = statusReligion.concat(nationality); | |
var randomStatusReligionNationality = statusReligionNationality[Math.round(Math.random() * (statusReligionNationality.length - 1))]; | |
var occupationBand = occupation.concat(band); | |
var randomOccupationBand = occupationBand[Math.round(Math.random() * (occupationBand.length - 1))]; | |
var occupationStatusReligionNationality = statusReligionNationality.concat(occupation); | |
var randomOccupationStatusReligionNationality = occupationStatusReligionNationality[Math.round(Math.random() * (occupationStatusReligionNationality.length - 1))]; | |
var sexualOrientationReligion = sexualOrientation.concat(religion); | |
var randomSexualOrientationReligion = sexualOrientationReligion[Math.round(Math.random() * (sexualOrientationReligion.length - 1))]; | |
// create a bunch of headlines | |
var a = randomHowWhy + " " + randomPlace + "\'s " + randomOccupation + "s " + "are " + randomSwapping + " " + randomObject1 + "s " + "for " + randomObject2 + "s"; | |
var b = randomWe + " Spent " + randomTime + " " + randomScenario + " with " + randomPlace + "\'s " + randomOccupation + "s"; | |
var c = randomDrugTaking + " " + randomDrug + " " + randomScenario + " with " + randomPerson; | |
var d = "A " + randomStatusReligionNationality + " " + randomOccupation + "\'s " + randomGuide + " " + randomPlace; | |
var e = randomObject1 + "s, " + randomObject2 + "s and " + randomDrug + ": " + randomScenario + " with " + randomPerson + " in " + randomPlace; | |
var f = "Is the " + randomNationality + " " + randomGenre + " " + randomMusicScene + " " + randomChanging + "?"; | |
var g = randomTime + " with " + randomPerson + " and a " + randomNationality + " " + randomOccupation; | |
var h = randomPerson + "\'s " + randomFamilyMember + " is Not a " + randomOccupation1 + ", But He is a " + randomOccupation2; | |
var i = "Do " + randomOccupation + "s Really Need " + randomObject + "s? This " + randomNationality + " " + randomGenre + " Fan " + randomAnswer; | |
var j = "We\'re " + randomDebating + " " + randomDrugTaking1 + " " + randomDrug1 + " vs. " + randomDrugTaking2 + " " + randomDrug2 + " with " + randomPerson; | |
var k = "Meet the " + randomStatusReligionNationality + " " + randomOccupation + "s Who Are Putting " + randomGenre + " Back on the Map"; | |
var l = "I " + randomLived + " a " + randomOccupation + " in " + randomPlace + " and There Was No " + randomPerson; | |
var m = randomDiscover + " What " + randomHappened + " When We Were " + randomScenario + " for " + randomTime + " in " + randomPlace; | |
var n = "We\'re " + randomDrugTaking + " " + randomDrug + " with " + randomPlace + "\'s " + randomOccupation + "s"; | |
var o = "Next Month, " + randomPerson + " Spends " + randomTime + " With a " + randomObject + ", " + randomDrugTaking + " " + randomDrug; | |
var p = "This is the " + randomStatusReligionNationality + " " + randomOccupation + " Who Wants to Make " + randomPlace1 + " the New " + randomPlace2; | |
var q = randomPerson + ": " + randomHowWhy + " a " + randomObject + " Couldn\'t " + randomSave + " My " + randomFamilyMember + " From Overdosing on " + randomDrug + " in " + randomPlace; | |
var r = randomHowWhy + " " + randomPerson1 + " thought " + randomPerson2 + " was a " + randomStatusReligion + " " + randomOccupationBand; | |
var s = randomHowWhy + " " + randomPlace + "\'s " + randomCoolest + " " + randomBand + " Have Already " + randomGigged + " Next Year\'s " + randomFestival; | |
var t = randomDrugTaking + " " + randomDrug + " at " + randomFestival + ": " + randomArticleType; | |
var u = "Meet the Writers Behind " + randomPlace + "\'s Version of " + randomTvShow; | |
var v = randomHowWhy + " " + randomPlace + "\'s Answer to " + randomTvShow + " Is Just " + randomPerson + " on " + randomDrug; | |
var w = randomAge + " and " + randomSexualOrientation + ": " + randomPlace + "\'s " + randomOccupation + "s"; | |
var x = randomAmount + " Reasons Why " + randomPlaceFestival + " is the " + randomWorst; | |
var y = randomWe + " " + randomPain + " " + randomPerson + " and " + randomSocialMediaAction; | |
var z = randomWe + " " + randomFound + " " + randomPerson + " and a " + randomReligion + " " + randomOccupation + " " + randomDoingBad + " Each Other"; | |
var aa = randomHowWhy + " Being a " + randomNationality + " " + randomSexualOrientationReligion + " Got Me a Role on " + randomTvShow; | |
var ab = randomHowWhy + " " + randomPlace + "\'s Version of " + randomSocialNetwork + " is " + randomFront + " " + randomPain + " " + randomOccupation + "s"; | |
var ac = randomWe + " " + randomWent + " " + randomPlaceFestival + " and " + randomBoughtSold + " " + randomFake + " " + randomDrug + " " + randomReason; | |
var ad = randomWe + " " + randomFound + " a " + randomSexualOrientationReligion + " " + randomOccupationBand + " and didn\'t " + randomSave + " them from " + randomDoingBad + " " + randomPerson; | |
var ae = randomWe + " " + randomMet + " a " + randomHuman + " on " + randomSocialNetwork + " who " + randomWent + " " + randomPlaceFestival + " and " + randomPain + " their " + randomFamilyMember; | |
var af = "I " + randomLived + " " + randomMember + " of " + randomGang; | |
var ag = randomHowWhy + " a " + randomOccupationStatusReligionNationality + " " + randomGroup + " are the " + randomCoolest + " " + randomGenre + " " + randomBand + " in " + randomPlace; | |
// combine headlines into an array | |
var headlines = []; | |
headlines.push(a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z, aa, ab, ac, ad, ae, af, ag); | |
// pick a random headline | |
var headline = headlines[Math.round(Math.random() * (headlines.length - 1))]; | |
return headline; | |
} | |
// Set the content of element with ID "headline" | |
function setHeadline() { | |
document.getElementById('headline').innerHTML = randomHeadline(); | |
} |
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