Skip to content

Instantly share code, notes, and snippets.

Embed
What would you like to do?
<!-- 随机名人名言代码开始 -->
<h3 style="margin-top:10px;">
<button id="click-me">Click Me!</button>
<left id="people-quote">
<!-- 可以把这里的 jquery 依赖放在本地 -->
<script src="https://code.jquery.com/jquery-2.1.1.min.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript">
var butong_net = new Array(
'物理教授走过校园,遇到数学教授。物理教授在进行一项实验,他总结出一个经验方程,似乎与实验数据吻合,他请数学教授看一看这个方程。<br>一周后他们碰头,数学教授说这个方程不成立。可那时物理教授已经用他的方程预言出进一步的实验结果,而且效果颇佳,所以他请数学教授再审查一下这个方程。 <br> 又是一周过去,他们再次碰头。数学教授告诉物理教授说这个方程的确成立,但仅仅对于正实数的简单情形成立。',
'工程师、物理学家和数学家同时接到一个任务:将一根钉子钉进一堵墙。 工程师造了一件万能打钉器,即能把任何一种可能的钉子打进任何一种可能的墙里的机器。 物理学家对于榔头、钉子和墙的强度做了一系列的测试,进而发展出一项革命性的科技—— 超低温下超音速打钉技术。 数学家将问题推广到N维空间N维带扭结的钉子穿透一个N-1维超墙的问题。很多基本定理被证明...当然啦,这个题目之深奥使得一个简单解的存在性都远非显然。',
'一位农夫请了工程师、物理学家和数学家来,想用最少的篱笆围出最大的面积。 工程师用篱笆围出一个圆,宣称这是最优设计。 物理学家将篱笆拉开成一条长长的直线,假设篱笆有无限长,认为围起半个地球总够大了。 数学家好好嘲笑了他们一番。 他用很少的篱笆把自己围起来,然后说:"我现在是在外面。" ',
'专业课考试最后一题:你认为最有影响力的物理学家是谁?我写的是“牛顿”。结果,全班只有我一个人没及格,原来,大家都把导师的名字写了上去……',
'物理学家和工程师乘着热气球,在大峡谷中迷失了方向。他们高声呼救:"喂——!我们在哪儿?"过了大约15分钟,他们听到回应在山谷中回荡:"喂——!你们在热气球里!" 物理学家道:"那家伙一定是个数学家。" 工程师不解道:"为什么?" 物理学家道:"因为他用了很长的时间,给出一个完全正确的答案,但答案一点用也没有。" ',
'工程师、化学家和数学家住在一家老客栈的三个相邻房间里. 当晚先是工程师的咖啡机着了火, 他嗅到烟味醒来, 拔出咖啡机的电插头, 将之扔出窗外, 然后接着睡觉. 过一会儿化学家也嗅到烟味醒来, 他发现原来是烟头燃着了垃圾桶. 他自言自语道:"怎样灭火呢?  应该把燃料温度降低到燃点以下, 把燃烧物与氧气隔离. 浇水可以同时做到这两点." 于是他把垃圾桶拖进浴室, 打开水龙头浇灭了火, 就回去接着睡觉. 数学家在窗外看到了这一切, 所以, 当过了一会儿他发现他的烟灰燃着了床单时, 他可一点儿也不担心. 说:"嗨, 解是存在的!"就接着睡觉了. ',
'数学家、生物学家和物理学家坐在街头咖啡屋里, 看着人们从街对面的一间房子走进走出. 他们先看到两个人进去. 时光流逝. 他们又看到三个人出来. 物理学家:"测量不够准确." 生物学家:"他们进行了繁殖." 数学家:"如果现在再进去一个人, 那房子就空了." ',
'一天,数学家觉得自己已受够了数学,于是他跑到消防队去宣布他想当消防员。消防队长说:"您看上去不错,可是我得先给您一个测试。" 消防队长带数学家到消防队后院小巷,巷子里有一个货栈,一只消防栓和一卷软管。消防队长问:"假设货栈起火,您怎么办?"数学家回答:"我把消防栓接到软管上,打开水龙,把火浇灭。" 消防队长说:"完全正确!最后一个问题:假设您走进小巷,而货栈没有起火,您怎么办?"数学家疑惑地思索了半天,终于答道:"我就把货栈点着。" 消防队长大叫起来:"什么?太可怕了!您为什么要把货栈点着?" 数学家回答:"这样我就把问题化简为一个我已经解决过的问题了。" ',
'一群数学家在丈量一根旗杆的高度,他们只有一根皮尺,不好固定在旗杆上,因为皮尺总是落下来。 一位物理学家路过,拔出旗杆,很容易就量出了数据。 他离开后,一位数学家对另一位说:"物理学家总是这样,我们要的是高度,他却给我们长度!" ',
'物理学家、天文学家和数学家走在苏格兰高原上, 碰巧看到一只黑色的羊. "啊," 天文学家说道,"原来苏格兰的羊是黑色的." "得了吧, 仅凭一次观察你可不能这么说." 物  理学家道, "你只能说那只黑色的羊是在苏格兰发现的." "也不对,"数学家道,"由这次观察你只能说:在这一时刻,这只羊,从我们观察的角度看过去,有一侧表面上是黑色的." ',
'实验物理学家: 关于打酱油的问题,首先必须做一个调研;并查阅一下有关别人是怎么打酱油的。另外我还必须决定是否需要采取别人没有采用过的方法或者对别人的成果进行重复验证。也许,还有别人没有注意到的细节。细节是重要的,或者我应该先做一个小实验来验证打酱油放案的可行性。比如:先花一分钱去买一块糖...... ',
'理论物理学家:我要先列一个方程,这个方程基于几个很简单的假设。比如酱油是存在的。同时要完美。看看我能得到些什么?也许会出现无穷大,但相信我,它是可以重整化的。当然为了解决这个问题我需要发展出一种全新的数学来, 看看需要些什么参考书?也许,我要先去一趟图书馆!',
'天体物理学家:这很麻烦!因为,你知道商店在距离我们有几十米的地方。但也不是没有办法。我可以在早上街上人比较少的时间窗口进行观察。可以对它进行色谱学,光谱学上的分析。可以计算它的红移以及它的组成。如果这样还不行的话,我想,我们可以通过观察它旁边的果汁来获得行的话,我想,我们可以通过观察它旁边的果汁来获得一些关于它的有用的信息...... ',
'核子物理学家:亲爱的,看这台机器。它可以为你造出任何一种东西!酱油?当然可以。什么?你要一瓶?让我算算。要造出一 拷 油来,需要:1000000度的电能,1000000000元 的经费,还要10<sup>120</sup>年的时间...... ',
'魔鬼物理学家:亲爱的,看这台机器!到了明天早上,只要它一启动,世界就会毁灭!!到了那个时候,亲爱的,我敢保证,你再也不需要什么酱油了!!!!!!!!!',
'Q: Why won&rsquo;t Heisenberg&rsquo;s operators live in the suburbs?<br>A: They don&rsquo;t commute.',
'Q: What do you get if you cross a pig with a rat?<br>A: Pig rat sine theta.',
'So this neutron walks into a bar, orders a pint of lager and begins to open his wallet when the barman says, "For you, no charge!".',
'At the physics exam: "Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples."',
'A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?',
'Researchers in Fairbanks Alaska announced last week that they have discovered a superconductor which will operate at room temperature.',
'The answer to the problem was "log(1+x)". A student copied the answer from the good student next to him, but didn&rsquo;t want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to "timber(1+x)"',
'One day in class, Richard Feynman was talking about angular momentum. He described rotation matrices and mentioned that they did not commute. He said that Sir William Hamilton discovered noncommutivity one night when he was taking a walk in his garden with Lady Hamilton. As they sat down on a bench, there was a moment of passion. It was then that he discovered that AB did not equal BA.',
'The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist&rsquo;s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That&rsquo;s exactly where you&rsquo;d expect to see that peak. Here&rsquo;s the reason (long logical explanation follows)." In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "you&rsquo;d expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here&rsquo;s the reason..."',
'A Princeton plasma physicist is at the beach when he discovers an ancient looking oil lantern sticking out of the sand. He rubs the sand off with a towel and a genie pops out. The genie offers to grant him one wish. The physicist retrieves a map of the world from his car an circles the Middle East and tells the genie, "I wish you to bring peace in this region".<br>After 10 long minutes of deliberation, the genie replies, "Gee, there are lots of problems there with Lebanon, Iraq, Israel, and all those other places. This is awfully embarrassing. I&rsquo;ve never had to do this before, but I"m just going to have to ask you for another wish. This one is just too much for me".<br>Taken aback, the physicist thinks a bit and asks, "I wish that the Princeton tokamak would achieve scientific fusion energy break-even."<br>After another deliberation the genie asks, "Could I see that map again?"',
'A psychologist makes an experiment with a mathematician and a physicist. He puts a good-looking, naked woman in a bed in one corner of the room and the mathematician on a chair in another one, and tells him: "I′ll half the distance between you and the woman every five minutes, and you′re not allowed to stand up." the mathematician runs away, yelling: "in that case, I′ll never get to this woman!". After that, the psychologist takes the physicist and tells him the plan. The physicist starts grinning. the psychologist asks him: "but you′ll never get to this woman?", the physicists tells him: "sure, but for all practical things this is a good approximation."',
'Two fermions walk into a bar. One orders a drink. The other says "I&rsquo;ll have what he&rsquo;s having."'
);
function refresh_quote() {
var butong_net2 = Math.floor(Math.random() * butong_net.length);
$("#people-quote").text(butong_net[butong_net2]);
}
refresh_quote();
$("#click-me").click(function() {
refresh_quote();
});
</script>
<!-- 随机显示名人名言代码结束 -->
</left>
</h3>
Sign up for free to join this conversation on GitHub. Already have an account? Sign in to comment