valt-x

AI_TOOL_CHURN = {
    "Monday": "New vector DB drops on Hacker News",
    "Tuesday": "Everyone tweets it's revolutionary",
    "Wednesday": "Tutorials flood Medium",
    "Thursday": "Discord community has 10k members",
    "Friday": "Critical security flaw discovered",
    "Weekend": "Abandoned for next shiny thing"
}

valt-x

def test_ai_startup():
    """What actually gets tested"""
    assertions = [
        "API key is valid (sometimes)",
        "Can handle 2 concurrent users",
        "Error page has cute animation",
        "Pricing page shows $99/mo",
        "'Contact sales' button works"
    ]
    return any(assertions)  # optimistic testing

valt-x

TIMELINE = {
    "Day 1": "We're changing the world!",
    "Week 2": "We got into YC!",
    "Month 3": "We're AI-native now",
    "Month 6": "Pivoting to enterprise",
    "Year 1": "Looking for acquihire",
    "Year 2": "Tech Twitter meme"
}

valt-x

Startup's claim:   "Revolutionary AI agent platform"
Actual code:       `openai.ChatCompletion.create()`
Tech debt:         Handling rate limits
Scale achieved:    5 paying customers

valt-x

BUZZWORDS_2025 = [
    ["Web3", "AGI", "Quantum", "Sovereign"],
    ["RAG", "Agents", "Multimodal", "GPU"],
    ["DevEx", "Prompt engineering", "Fine-tuning", "RLHF"],
    ["Latency", "Vector DB", "Orchestration", "MoE"]
]

valt-x

def build_startup():
    """How modern unicorns are made"""
    steps = [
        "Find existing API",
        "Add 'AI-powered' prefix",
        "Build nicer UI",
        "Charge 5x more",
        "Raise $10M series A",
        "Get acquired when API changes"
    ]

valt-x

What I do:      What my LinkedIn says:
------------    -----------------------
`pip install`   "Leveraging cutting-edge ML"
Debug API calls "Architecting AI agent systems"
Read docs       "Reverse-engineering emergent behaviors"
Fix CSS         "Human-centered AI alignment"

valt-x

class StartupHype:
    def __init__(self):
        self.stages = [
            "Building in stealth 🕵️",
            "Just launched on Product Hunt! 🚀",
            "AI-native rearchitecture 🔄",
            "Pivot to B2B enterprise 🤵",
            "Acqui-hired by Google 🎉",
            "Domain expired 💀"
        ]

valt-x

VC_CHECKLIST = [
    "Uses 'AGI' in pitch deck",
    "Claims 10x better than current solution",
    "Team photo with too many MacBooks",
    "TAM slides showing $100B+ market",
    "Demo that's just ChatGPT with CSS"
]

valt-x

# 1. The Real AI Stack
def real_ai_stack():
    """
    Everyone's "AI Startup" tech stack
    """
    return {
        "frontend": "React with gradient backgrounds",
        "backend": "FastAPI (single endpoint)",
        "ai": "OpenAI wrapper function",
        "database": "Supabase (free tier)",