"Heathens" by Twenty One Pilots in JavaScript

heathens.js

/**
 * Adapted from "Heathens" by Twenty One Pilots
 * (C) Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.
 * 
 * All original modifications are (C) Aidan Fitzgerald and licensed under the
 * Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
 * https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0
 */
function you() {
  friends.forEach(function(friend) {
    if (friend.isHeathen()) {
      takeItSlow();
    }
    friend.wait(function() {
      ask(this.knownPersons());
    });
  });

  var makeSuddenMoves = false;

  console.assert(abuse / 2 == undefined);
}