GLaDOS greeting screen for bash/zsh (mac)

.zshrc

findcpu(){
    sysctl -n machdep.cpu.brand_string
}

findkernelversion(){
    uname -mrs
}

mem=$(sysctl -n hw.memsize)

echo " `tput sgr0`             .,-:;//;:=,                             `tput smso`  Aperture Science Terminal Info             `tput rmso`
          . :H@@@MM@M#H/.,+%;,
       ,/X+ +M@@M@MM%=,-%HMMM@X/,                       $(findcpu)
     -+@MM; SM@@MH+-,;XMMMM@MMMM@+-                     `tput bold`RAM memory:`tput sgr0` $[$mem/1024/1024] MB
    ;@M@@M- XM@X;. -+XXXXXHHH@M@M#@/.                   `tput bold`Kernel:`tput sgr0` $(findkernelversion)
  ,%MM@@MH ,@%=            .---=-=:=,.
  =@#@@@MX .,              -%HXSS%%%+;
 =-./@M@MS                  .;@MMMM@MM:               `tput smso`  GLaDOS Monitor                             `tput rmso`
 X@/ -SMM/                    .+MM@@@MS                                             `tput setaf 2`  ____ `tput sgr0`
,@M@H: :@:                    . =X#@@@@-                `tput bold`System status:`tput sgr0`  `tput setaf 2`On           /   /`tput sgr0`
,@@@MMX, .                    /H- ;@M@M=                `tput bold`Voice status:`tput sgr0`   `tput setaf 2`On     ___  /   /`tput sgr0`
.H@@@@M@+,                    %MM+..%#S.                                       `tput setaf 2`\  \/   /`tput sgr0`
 /MMMM@MMH/.                  XM@MH; =;                 `tput bold`Damaged:       `tput sgr0` `tput setaf 2`No      `tput setaf 2`\     /`tput sgr0`
  /%+%SXHH@S=              , .H@@@@MX,                  `tput bold`Malfunctioning:`tput sgr0` `tput setaf 3`Maybe    `tput setaf 2`\___/`tput sgr0`
   .=--------.           -%H.,@@@@@MX,
    .%MM@@@HHHXXSSS%+- .:MMX =M@@MM%.
     =XMMM@MM@MM#H;,-+HMM@M+ /MMMX=                   `tput smso`  Date and Time                              `tput rmso`
       =%@M@M#@S-.=S@MM@@@M; %M%=
         ':+S+-,/H#MMMMMMM@= ='                         `tput bold`Date:`tput sgr0` $(date +"%A %d %B %Y")
               =++%%%%+/:-.                             `tput bold`Time:`tput sgr0` $(date +"%T")
"