voodootikigod

The answer to everything.

voodootikigod

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voodootikigod

Thanks, everybody. Thanks to JSconf. I'm going to try the first part of this slide is holy going to be entertaining and some other started stuff.

So, first of all, a great big thanks to John Charles who is a teammate on the team who got this spot and then gave it to me. He's not here. He had to leave early. And then he sent us this picture and he was actually not wearing a shirt. So I did everybody a favor and really quickly put a shirt on him.

He has so much chest hair, it looked like he had a sweater on.

Also it has been a long conference and for those of you who have families that didn't travel with you, I'm sure you miss them. I miss my son and daughter the movie star. Max gets two pictures because she's something. That's him trying on my shorts.

[Laughter]

voodootikigod

Hello? Oh yeah.

Okay! All right! We're ready to go! Accessibility means a lot of things. Sometimes it means a user cannot see or hear. Sometimes it means a user does not speak your language. And with that, we're actually going to have a talk that is live translated. We have Felipe and Anna, and they're going to be talking about accessibility and JavaScript. Side by side.

Yeah. People think that this is like... Sometimes people think that other people are going to solve this problem, but we're here to encourage you to

voodootikigod

Hi. Everybody hear me okay? Yes? Awesome. So I'm a web developer at Mozilla, I'm the lead engineer on the Webmaker for Android project, and I want to start off on a high note here. The web is broken. And I don't mean the Wi-Fi. Although the Wi-Fi is totally broken right now. So I'm not going to demo some of the stuff I was going to show you. But that's okay. It's not actually broken for most of you JavaScript developers, right? On Firefox and Chrome and Edge, for you, the web is probably still pretty awesome. But for the rest of the world coming online right now, and that's like 2 billion people over the next few years, it really kind of sucks. And that's just because for more and more people, the first and only experience they're ever

voodootikigod

Thanks. So yeah, I'm really excited to be here, talking about making relational cool again, and the subtitle is... Or JavaScript on ACID. And like I said, my name is Tim Griesser, Tgriesser on Github, and I'm here really excited to be talking about SQL. Or is it Ess-kyoo-ell? I know it's an issue that really divides programmers. So I Googled it, and the first result I came across was this English language and use in Stack Exchange. Which I thought was fitting, given that we're at a programming conference. And the first thing you'll notice is I'm not a member of the English language and usage, so if I make any mistakes up here, you'll know why. But the answer was that it was in fact first called the structured English query language, and so that acronym

voodootikigod

That was a very kind introduction. Thank you very much. So how is everyone doing at JSConf? I heard I have no competition at the beach. Everyone is here. Full house. Thank you for coming by. So yeah. Like I said, I want to talk to you about concurrency and parallelism in JavaScript. Maybe a brief introduction is warranted. I do lead the JS team, and for the last several years, we've been thinking about this, these problems in JavaScript, and how we can address that. I would like to share some of the ways we've come around to improving concurrency and parallelism in JS. But before we... The string is a little tight. Before we go down that road, let's actually talk about some definitions. Concurrency and parallelism often come

voodootikigod

Hi, everybody! So let's have some fun with the Nintendo, which was a fine piece of hardware. Even today. So what is this thing that I'm going to be talking about, I guess? It's the latest in 1980s music technology. This is controlling an Nintendo's sound. Like, the sound stuff that makes the... Sound stuff that is in the microprocessor, like... Compiling down to the assembler through JavaScript. So this piece of hardware right here is what we're going to be running everything on. And there's no trickery involved or whatever. It's actual Nintendo programs running. Just want to make -- some people are like -- hey, you have some crazy thing. But no, it's real. So when I first started this project, the goal was to make it

voodootikigod

Keybase proof

I hereby claim:

• I am voodootikigod on github.
• I am voodootikigod (https://keybase.io/voodootikigod) on keybase.
• I have a public key whose fingerprint is DDB4 F094 EFDF A388 4B8B B87F 7A53 D234 A9AB 4F9E

To claim this, I am signing this object:

voodootikigod

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