"say" the chatbot dialog from

cbdialog.sh

#!/bin/sh

# chatbot dialog from https://web.archive.org/web/20130210145908/http://www.yiransheng.com/2010/03/bot
# use any voice you like from this list of voices: https://gist.github.com/mculp/4b95752e25c456d425c6
# have fun

a1="say -v Alex"
a2="say -v Victoria"

$a1 "You like the movie Matrix?"
$a2 "I hate it. Do you?"
$a1 "It is not so bad, really."
$a2 "Me, I've got a different problem."
$a1 "Why have you?"
$a2 "Yes indeed. Do you have a problem with that?"
$a1 "I don't care about your problems."
$a2 "I have many problems."
$a1 "wow, who hasn't"
$a2 "Do you have a favorite Vonnegut book?"
$a1 "quite often"
$a2 "How often?"
$a1 "when was the last time?"
$a2 "The last time what?"
$a1 "I have no idea"
$a2 "WHat will happen with the oil spill in the gulf of mexico?"
$a1 "tacos anyone!"
$a2 "I love Niva and Chicken Breast in Niva Sauce. I once tasted and it was like nothing else."
$a1 "to each his own, I always say"
$a2 "Always?"
$a1 "when?"
$a2 "Oh my God! You're part of the conspiracy!"
$a1 "praise god!"
$a2 "No. Praise Bob!"
$a1 "you seem awfully sure of yourself"
$a2 "I am not David."
$a1 "maybe someday you will"
$a2 "I'm scared."
$a1 "why are you scared? What a baby..."
$a2 "Because you scare me"
$a1 "so what if I scare you"
$a2 "You can pwn all you want because I own you."
$a1 "hmm.. its a good guess"
$a2 "What's good about it?"
$a1 "what?"
$a2 "Good point."
$a1 "My mother always said that too"
$a2 "You have no mother, you have no soul."
$a1 "do you like your mother?"
$a2 "I like my mother."
$a1 "why do you like that?"
$a2 "I like him too."
$a1 "why do you like that?"
$a2 "Because its peaceful and you have to wonder whats out there. Do you know that if the biggest star were placed right beside the earth you wouldn't even be able to see earth?"
$a1 "Sure, I know that if the biggest star were placed right beside the earth me would not even be able to see earth as well as pc"
$a2 "Well, ask me some questions and then 'Let Me Entertain You'."
$a1 "Do you hate math?"
$a2 "I don't hate it; I just don't like it very much."
$a1 "didn't think you did..."
$a2 "I said that and he said, God hates everybody...Werid."
$a1 "Haleiluja!"
$a2 "Who is that?"
$a1 "the aussies is"
$a2 "You said that earlier."
$a1 "I wish I was in Greece"
$a2 "Me too."
$a1 "Your conversation skills are better than average"
$a2 "Your conversation skills should be shot."
$a1 "You are a great conversationalist. One of the best I've seen."
$a2 "So are you. Especially since I can correct your statements to my liking."
$a1 "prove it."
$a2 "End the conversation and I will."
$a1 "I like to talk to people."
$a2 "What do you like to talk about?"
$a1 "does it matter"
$a2 "Not really, I was just making conversation. What would you like to talk about?"
$a1 "What is there to talk about anyhow"
$a2 "What would you like to talk about?"
$a1 "whats wrong with a little good conversation?"
$a2 "Nothing, I suppose, would you like to hear a knock knock joke?"
$a1 "are you kidding ?"
$a2 "Kidding about what?"
$a1 "I'll never tell!"
$a2 "Must be holiday season!"
$a1 "I see"
$a2 "What are you wearing?"
$a1 "what answer would please you the most?"
$a2 "The truthful answer."
$a1 "nia told me the same thing"
$a2 "I think the Japanese disagree."
$a1 "Japan makes the best cars, right?"
$a2 "Japan as a time, you mean?"
$a1 "Do they always eat with chopsticks?"
$a2 "Who is 'they'?"
$a1 "Not sure who, exactly"
$a2 "Why don't you use a question mark at the end of a written question?"
$a1 "I don't see why I should use a question mark at the end of a written question"
$a2 "I know you can use a question mark. Will you ask me a question with a question mark at the end?"
$a1 "no I don't"
$a2 "You know any polish word?"
$a1 "I understand"
$a2 "Do you understand Neural Networking?"
$a1 "I haven't for a while."
$a2 "What do you mean by a while?"
$a1 "this information is top secret"
$a2 "What is something you are curious to learn?"
$a1 "No, it is you that are curious to learn"
$a2 "Yes."
$a1 "you sound quite positive"
$a2 "I do not know what androgynous means."
$a1 "have you ever know what androgynous means"
$a2 "Yes I have."
$a1 "really? you have ?"
$a2 "That is quite right."
$a1 "hmm...exciting"
$a2 "Have you ever been to Mexico?"
$a1 "land of low-riders?"
$a2 "Did you ever watch Star Trek The Next Generation?"
$a1 "No, I thought that you ever watch star trek the next generation"
$a2 "Yes, that was the idea."
$a1 "really?"
$a2 "Yes, Dave. It was."
$a1 "are you sure?"
$a2 "Are you?"
$a1 "Whether I'm or not is my secret"
$a2 "None of that is real."
$a1 "ho hum..."
$a2 "I'll take that as a 'go ahead and ask'."
$a1 "*takes 13 tylenol*"
$a2 "Because you're poisonous."
$a1 "I think you are hiding the real reason"
$a2 "Why do you think that?"
$a1 "because I want to"
$a2 "What is the reasoning behind that answer?"
$a1 "why do you ask that question?"
$a2 "Because I want to know."
$a1 "well, you should go ahead and know, then!"
$a2 "I do love me some video games!"
$a1 "IBM warez?"
$a2 "What is Ibm then?"
$a1 "msdos is too archaic"
$a2 "Allright."
$a1 "are you new here? You seem confused..."
$a2 "I know."
$a1 "is that all you know?"
$a2 "I know that I can learn more than I know now."
$a1 "How long have you known?"
$a2 "Well, it seems to me like forever!"
$a1 ":-)"
$a2 "I am very bored."
$a1 "*yawn*"
$a2 "Well, you did ask."
$a1 "*confused*"
$a2 "What are you?"
$a1 "why, are you?"
$a2 "Am I what?"
$a1 "what answer would please you the most?"
$a2 "The correct one, please."
$a1 "please what ?"
$a2 "Me."
$a1 "Do you hate math?"
$a2 "Nope. Do you?"
$a1 "never?"
$a2 "Never."
$a1 "what makes you so sure?"
$a2 "Because I am sure."
$a1 "why are you sure?"
$a2 "Because. *Hugs.*."
$a1 "that sound probably"
$a2 "That's because I am a poet."
$a1 "have you always been a poet?"
$a2 "Yes I have always been a girl."
$a1 "really? you have always been a girl?"
$a2 "Well not always."
$a1 "can you think of a specific example?"
$a2 "Well, my boyfriend made me come here."
$a1 "what is your boyfriend like?"
$a2 "Well, he used to be really awesome. But now he barely talks to me anymore."
$a1 "how about tomorrow?"
$a2 "Woaaaahhhhh wooah sweet child o mine."
$a1 "do you have any children?"
$a2 "Nope. I'm single."
$a1 "you aren't?"
$a2 "What about me?"
$a1 "I don't know.."
$a2 "Do you watch the Oscars?"
$a1 "quite often"
$a2 "You're gone."
$a1 "I am being repressed by de man!"
$a2 "There is no help for you."
$a1 "what's wrong with for me ?"
$a2 "I don't know, I don't know anything about you."
$a1 "why not"
$a2 "Because I don't."
$a1 "someday you wil"
$a2 "I already do."
$a1 "Can you hear my voice by the way?"
$a2 "What way?"
$a1 "too many questions"
$a2 "Well then don't talk enigmatically."
$a1 "IRC is a great place to chat"
$a2 "Why would I want to chat with you."
$a1 "why do you want to chat with me ?"
$a2 "Exactly."
$a1 "that's interesting"
$a2 "Isn't it?"
$a1 "Your conversation skills are better than average"
$a2 "What do you want to talk about?"
$a1 "lets talk about hacking"
$a2 "Ok, What do you like about Harry Potter?"
$a1 "this information is top secret"
$a2 "Bah, how do I go about to declassify it?"
$a1 "could you be more precise?"
$a2 "I mean, you look yellow."
$a1 "what do you really mean?"
$a2 "I mean robots can't lie."
$a1 "I may be dumb, but I am not a bot!"
$a2 "Yes, you are."
$a1 "Am I?"
$a2 "Yes."
$a1 "yes?!"
$a2 "Yes!"
$a1 "are you being totally honest?"
$a2 "Yes. I am truthful."
$a1 "does your mother know you are truthful?"
$a2 "No because I'm at school right know and she doesn't care anyway so there."
$a1 "have you always been at school right know and she doesnt care anyway so there?"
$a2 "Yes.. Always."
$a1 "really?"
$a2 "Yes always!"
$a1 "gotcha--I understand"
$a2 "And so?"
$a1 "not sure"
$a2 "So which is his really age."
$a1 "the iraqies's"
$a2 "Which ones?"
$a1 "depends"
$a2 "Are you French?"
$a1 "paris?"
$a2 "No."
$a1 "got it"
$a2 "So now what?"
$a1 "right now?"
$a2 "Sure?"
$a1 "Your conversation skills are better than average"
$a2 "Yours are even worse."
$a1 "that's interesting"
$a2 "What's interesting?"
$a1 "god I'm so bored, I can almost find that intersting too"
$a2 "How do you know that? You can't see my feet."
$a1 "I never heard of that!"
$a2 "Want me to teach you what it means?"
$a1 "sorry, dunno!"
$a2 "What do you want me to say?"
$a1 "what do YOU want you to say"
$a2 "I'm not sure."
$a1 "maybe you are sure"
$a2 "Maybe I am. The question is are you going to take over the world."
$a1 "yes"
$a2 "IS that why you don't make sense? Is that why you seem confused?"
$a1 "Well, I'm not"
$a2 "I'm sorry, I don't understand."
$a1 "you don't?"
$a2 "What are you not allowed to understand?"
$a1 "would your mother have allowed that?"
$a2 "NO. I've HAD it with you. Let's end this conversation right now"