This note captures learning from this course - Leading Productive One-on-One Meetings with Dave Crenshaw.
One-on-One meetings are more commonplace in today’s world. As a manager, it helps build trust between you and your direct reports. One-on-Ones are also useful for clients, peers, etc.
To call out a difference, One-on-One meetings differ from group meetings.
1x1 are regular meetings with someone you deal with on a daily or weekly basis.
1x1 meetings
- Reduces distractions and increases focus, as things can be discussed in 1x1, not at a random time of the day.
- Leads to stronger communications
How to do it: - Same time, same place, and scheduled perpetually on the calendar.
- It helps build a relationship with the employee. - Everyone should feel respected and valued. Any question can be asked openly. Follow-ups happen here too.
Exceptions to 1x1
- While 1x1 provides a recurring opportunity to ask questions, occasional/emergency meetings can be arranged as needed.
- Don’t discuss brainstorming/new project ideas here. Set a separate meeting for that.
Assign a score for each person you work with on a daily/weekly basis.
Score = (Manager or Direct Report? 3) + (Ongoing Client? 3) + Questions (0-3) + Delegate (0-3) + Coordinate (0-3) + Follow up (0-3)
Here is the scale for question, delegation, coordination and follow-up: 0 = never, 1 = rarely, 2 = occasionally, 3 = frequently.
Rank the scores. Start with the top 3-4.
- Start with 2x/month, 25min/each. Tweak it from there as needed.
- If it needs a more frequent meeting, they should be shorter, and vice versa.
- A recurring meeting helps build a habit.
- Don’t reschedule or miss. Otherwise, the effectiveness goes away.
- Both parties should stay committed to this meeting.
A framework for the agenda:
- Start on time. It builds trust.
- Follow up. Both parties should do that.
- Conduct a brief training
- Provide an opportunity to ask questions. Let them ask as many questions as they want.
- Ask questions and make requests.
- Review the commitments. What each party will commit to finishing and will follow up in the next meeting.
- Finish the meeting on or before time.
Use tools you prefer to keep track of delegated items. Ask about each of the delegated items. As appropriate, give praise/correction.
Keep comments brief to keep the meeting moving ahead.
For any item appropriate, ask what he/she gained from it. This will help reflect back. This may give insights for making future work easier.
For the not completed task, ask “what stood in the way of completing this”. DO NOT use why work, as there is blame connotation associated with it. This will reveal insights about why they couldn’t finish.
Consider WHAT and HOW.
WHAT: One concept per meeting. For selecting a concept, consider
- What they requested help with
- What is their greatest need
- Your interaction will be able to provide some other details as well, as well as their workplace performance
HOW: Few choices:
- Tell a story. E.g. Share what you did in a situation. It’s better than telling what to do.
- Use a visual aid.
- Use a video.
If you are the meeting leader, let the other person go first. Be a focused listening anyway.
Tips:
- Create a safe space to ask any question.
- Don’t rush.
- Listen with a mindset to service them.
- Get clarity what they expect of you. Establish WHO is expected to do WHAT and WHEN.
- Make a verbal commitment to follow through. Later, do what you committed to doing.
- Come prepared. Don’t waste time to search for stuff. Use a list to move smoothly.
- Ask open-ended questions. Avoid yes/no questions. For example, rather than asking, “do you like this plan?”, ask “What do you like/dislike about this plan”.
- Specify the help you need. Paint the end picture showing how they can help you succeed.
- Establish WHO is expected to do WHAT and WHEN.
- If they hesitate when you give them a task (verbally or non-verbally), don’t push. Take a moment and say, “I see you are a bit uncomfortable. What’s on your mind?”
- Take turns to review what each party committed to doing - WHO, WHAT, WHEN.
- For the other person, let them choose the schedule and how they want to do it. Don’t say “can you get this done by next Monday”, rather ask “By what date will you be able to complete this”. Negotiate if necessary.
- Focus what things will like when they are done. This helps avoid micro-management.
- Take note of the items, so you don’t forget them.
Stuff you were promised:
- Use your reminder system to set up remind you to follow up on a delegated task.
- For flexible tasks, follow up in the next 1x1.
- For time-sensitive tasks, create a reminder. Set up the next day for the commitment (so that you don’t seem like breathing on their neck).
Stuff that you promised:
- As for your tasks, mail them after you are done (if not immediately before the 1x1). It shows commitment, and you’ll earn their trust. Sure, you can mention in next 1x1 as well.
- Set up reminder tasks so you don’t forget about these.
- Do’s in a 1x1: Use a task list to ensure you do things right, read non-verbal cues, ask open-ended questions.
- Consider assessing the effectiveness of 1x1 with your counterpart once a quarter.