460 PRINT "YEAH THIS IS GONNA BE A BIT AWKWARD TO FOLLOW"
470 PRINT "CAN'T BE ASSED TO RENUMBER THIS"
480 PRINT "TRY TO KEEP UP. LINE NUMBERS ARE JUST A QUIRK, READ FROM TOP TO BOTTOM"
20 PRINT "ALRIGHT LISTEN UP Y'ALL."
30 PRINT "SPECIFICALLY THEPURPLETIGRESS"
40 PRINT "WELCOME TO A LESSON IN"
50 PRINT "META-NARRATIVE FUCKERY"
60 PRINT "THAT'S RIGHT, THERE'S A HIGH CHANCE YOU'RE GETTING INVOLVED IN IT YET AGAIN"
70 PRINT "AND SINCE BEING Outside HAS RADDLED MY DAMN THINKPAN WITH ALL THIS FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE"
80 PRINT "I MIGHT AS WELL SHARE IT WITH YOU"
90 PRINT "TAKE MY ADVICE OR NOT"
100 PRINT "AND YES, I'M DIRECTING IT UPWARDS. BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THIS STUFF OPERATES."
110 PRINT "SO. YOU WANT TO SCRATCH AND FIGHT AND CLAW AND BITE AND PUNCH DIRK FUCKING STRIDER"
120 PRINT "HE IS TRADITIONALLY, THANKS TO THE EPILOGUES, GIVEN THE POWER OF METANARRATIVE FUCKERY."
130 PRINT "WHICH MEANS HE YANKS CONTROL OF THE NARRATION"
140 PRINT "THIS IS ASSUREDLY AGAINST RULE 2. BUT THAT DOESN'T APPLY ON EARTH-C."
150 PRINT "HOW DOES IT WORK?"
160 PRINT "WELL, HE SAYS YOUR CHARACTER DID SOMETHING"
170 PRINT "AND THEN THEY DID."
180 PRINT "THAT'S IT."
190 PRINT "NOW, HOW DO YOU STOP HIM?"
200 PRINT "THERE ARE TWO WAYS, I THINK. PROBABLY WORKING IN TANDEM"
210 PRINT "SHUTTING HIM UP, AND HAVING A STRONGER NARRATOR"
220 PRINT "NOW, NO OFFENSE TO YOUR MAGE OF LIGHT, BUT A STRONG NARRATOR THEY ARE NOT"
230 PRINT "THOREN TALKS BACK TO THEM, DYLAN CAN TRICK THEM"
240 PRINT "SO, YOU EITHER NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO WRITE THIS PART"
250 PRINT "OR YOU NEED TO STRENGTHEN NICK UP"
260 PRINT "UNFORTUNATELY I DON'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE MANY OPTIONS FOR THE FIRST THING"
270 PRINT "MAYBE My Queen? OR BRAE HERSELF IF SHE THINKS HER MAGIC IS STRONG ENOUGH"
280 PRINT "DESPITE THIS GRIMLIGHT THING INSISTING THAT I AM CLOSE-TO-FAE AND MUST IDENTIFY THAT WAY"
290 PRINT "IT HASN'T ACTUALLY TOLD ME MUCH ABOUT WHAT THAT MEANS."
300 PRINT "MAYBE I COULD OVERPOWER HIM WITH THE UNEXPECTED NARRATIVE TRANSMISSION GIMMICK"
310 PRINT "HE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO WORK WITH THE AUDIO THING"
410 PRINT "IN TERMS OF WHO CAN OVERPOWER HIM AMONG THE HS CAST?"
420 PRINT "A VERY STRONG AND SELF-CONFIDENT JUNE COULD"
430 PRINT "NO OFFENSE TO YOUR JUNE BUT SHE ISN'T THAT JUNE"
440 PRINT "ROSE LALONDE COULD DO IT, POSSIBLY."
450 PRINT "CALLIOPE, MAYBE?"
320 PRINT "ALTERNATIVELY, FOR STRENGTHENING NICK"
330 PRINT "YOU COULD HAVE SOMEONE HIDDEN FROM DIRK FEEDING THEM INFORMATION"
340 PRINT "THIS IS HYPOTHETICAL THOUGH"
350 PRINT "TRY SOMEONE VERY STEALTHY."
360 PRINT "MAYBE LEZAH IF YOU CAN GET HIM TO AGREE"
370 PRINT "I COULD SEE EVERYTHING WHEN I WAS Outside AND I STILL COULD ONLY SEE HIS AFTEREFFECTS"
380 PRINT "IT'S ALSO POSSIBLE THAT DIRK'S OVERPOWERING NARRATIVE FORCE COULD ESTABLISH THAT THEY'RE NOT THERE"
390 PRINT "AND THEN YOU'VE LOST SOMEONE ON EARTH-C"
400 PRINT "SO. BE PREPARED FOR THAT."
490 PRINT "YOU COULD ALSO DO A THREADVENTURE MAYBE"
500 PRINT "THAT WAY EVEN IF HE DOES TAKE CONTROL HE'LL BE FORCED TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ACTUAL INPUTS"
510 PRINT "AND YOU CAN MAYBE OVERPOWER HIM WITH YOUR COLLECTIVE POWER"
520 PRINT "THOSE ARE MY IDEAS."
530 PRINT "I'M SURE YOU CAN COME UP WITH MORE"
540 PRINT "JUST HAVE A PLAN THAT ISN'T PREDICATED ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT YOU CONTROL BRAE'S BODY"
550 PRINT "OH MAYBE YOU COULD TRY AND LURE HIM HERE"
560 PRINT "AND LET RULE 2 NEUTRALIZE HIM"
570 PRINT "WHICH TRANSITIONS US TO OPTION B"
580 PRINT "SHUT THE ASSHOLE UP SO YOU DONT HAVE TO HEAR HIS FUCKING RHYMES"
590 PRINT "A VOID PLAYER COULD DO IT. ROXY, SKITIS, MIMI. I THINK THOSE ARE YOUR OPTIONS."
600 PRINT "BLOT OUT WHAT HE SAYS LIKE IT'S THE FUCKING SCP FOUNDATION"
610 PRINT "YOU COULD ALSO TRY TO SURPRISE HIM"
620 PRINT "WHAT HE DOESN'T KNOW HE CAN'T SAY."
630 PRINT "GAG HIM OR CUT OUT HIS TONGUE WHILE HE'S UNPREPARED"
640 PRINT "OTHER MEDIUMS MIGHT BE THE TRICK"
650 PRINT "AUDIO DRAMA, RPG MAKER EPIC"
660 PRINT "SOMETHING THAT CATCHES HIM OFF GUARD"
670 PRINT "YOU MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE BEFORE HE ACLIMATIZES"
680 PRINT "AS FOR MORE PEDESTRIAN PROBLEMS"
690 PRINT "YOU'RE FACING A MASTER SWORDSMAN, PROBABLY WITH AN ARMY OF BROBOTS"
700 PRINT "AND YOU MIGHT WANT HIM ALIVE FOR SOME KIND OF REHABILITATION"
710 PRINT "KILLING HIM WON'T WIN YOU ANY FAVORS WITH THE ALPHA KIDS"
720 PRINT "BUT CAPTURING HIM ALIVE WILL BE HARDER"
730 PRINT "THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT"
740 PRINT "FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH"
750 PRINT "THIS BOOTLEG LIGHT PLAYER IS ROOTING FOR YOU"