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wizardofozzie/gist:e1b573a06aba9a9bd7c1

Created May 8, 2015 02:55
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gistfile1.txt
FORMULA FOR CREATING NEW TV ANCHORMAN NAMES:
The first name has to be one syllable and a type of construction material and the last name has to be a breed of horse.
Construction material + breed of horse = Anchorman Name.
Examples: Brick Shetland, Chip Clydesdale, Stone Winchester, Wood Lippizaner.
***
FORMULA FOR CREATING NEW TV SPORTSCASTER/WEATHERMAN NAMES:
The first name has to be one a syllable kitchen related verb, and the last name has to be a two syllable nonsensical compound.
Kitchen related verb + Nonsensical compound = Sportscaster/Weatherman Name.
Examples: Flip Greencat, Dash Sledboat, Squirt Mudbottom.
***
FORMULA FOR CREATING TV APPROVED NAMES FOR WOMEN:
The recommended formula = a regular first name w/ a pretentious spelling + an alliterative surname that sounds like a first name.
Examples: Daran Davids, Mikhaela Michaels, Larra Leslees, Jennn Jonnnson.
***
FORMULA FOR CREATING TV APPROVED NAMES FOR HISPANIC MINORITIES:
The recommended formula is the name of a saint + a Spanish curse word.
Examples: Ignacio Cabron, Maria Pendejo, Francisco Tu Madre Es Una Fea.
***
FORMULA FOR CREATING TV-APPROVED NAMES FOR ASIAN MINORITIES:
Name of a child from The Waltons + the sound you make when struck in solar plexus.
Examples: Mary Ellen Huk, Ben Puh, and Jon Boy Oh
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