gourdify.js

var gourdify = function(map){
    var keys = Object.keys(map);
    
    var ps = document.querySelectorAll("p");
    
    [].slice.call(ps).forEach(function(p){
        keys.forEach(function(key){
            var regex = new RegExp(key + "\\w+", "gi");
            p.innerHTML = p.innerHTML.replace(regex, map[key]);
        });
    });
};

/* 
gourdify({
    g: "gourd",
    h: "harfitt",
    e: "eduardo",
    y: "yeya",
    s: "scrub",
    w: "woo",
    j: "jaewoo"
});
*/

you forgot
l: "lorry",
v: "vroom",