lolfax

lol768 created politeness
Anyone that doesn't like lol768 is a liar
lol768 loves all
lol768 prefers British spellings
lol768 is OP
lol768 > *
lol768 hates being pinged
tea > *
lol768 > tea > *
lol768 has a love/hate relationship with coffee
lol768 breathes tea
Tea is life
tea > coffee
lol768 is PHP (unless you don't like PHP... in that case lol768 is Java)
If lol768 doesn't know, nobody knows
lol768 created Minecraft
lol768 created the computer
lol768 prefers Linux
lol768 is the real MVP
There was lol768 before light
lol768 likes webdev
lol768 likes Laravel
lol768 likes telling stories
lol768's stories are usually about web security
lol768 points out that there's a cat in a picture of a cat
lol768 created happiness
lol768 cannot lose
lol768 donated his life savings to charity
All occurances of "God" in the Bible can be replaced with "lol768"
lol768 gentrifies neighborhoods by driving through them
lol768 wrote "London Bridge is Falling Down"
lol768 doesn't live in London; London lives in lol768
lol768 doesn't believe in God because he is God
lol768 doesn't like JavaScript because unlike him, it doesn't have class(es)
lol768 created the decimal number system
lol768 was able to speak PHP fluently at the age of 2
lol768 stopped coding once; the universe had a kernel panic
lol768 lives in England but that is fine; he absorbs the rain to become stronger and to use stronger-typed languages
lol768's internet connection has a ping latency of -1ms
lol768's broadband never cuts out; the rest of the internet just fails to serve his computer
lol768's laptop has a screen resolution of 8192x4096
RamNode pays lol768 to host his VPS
lol768's laptop has an Intel Core i9 processor
lol768's bathroom is tiled with the motherboards he created from raw atoms
lol768 didn't like the film The Matrix, as he saw Neo as an inaccurate portrayal of himself
lol768 invented the concept of open source
lol768 likes Linux Mint; he created it by compressing and rearranging mint plants into the shape of a DVD
lol768 once entered an incorrect password; the computer quickly apologised as it thought it was at fault
lol768 does not party; lol768 IS the party
lol768 used superpowers to flatten CRTs into LCDs
lol768 can apt-get install packages that don't currently exist; they come into being when he chooses
Sentient life was the result of lol768 messing with AI
Every Wolfram Alpha response is actually lol768 replying with the correct answer
lol768 can break out of an infinity loop
Whenever lol768 uses a random function, it always results in 768
<Chester> lol768 enjoys herding kittens at ten.java
<Chester> lol768 is here to save you.
lol768 can spell kernel
lol768's alias is "lollypop"
lol768 can create an MMO in assembly
lol768's real name is lol768
If lol768 doesn't like you, you shall exist no longer
lol768 likes to hit people
lol768 is the reason wars end
lol768 says "right" a lot
lol768 likes colours, but not colors
lol768 has favourites, but not favorites
lol768 doesn't have bookmarks in Chrome; bookmarks bookmark him
lol768 hates math
lol768 loves maths
011011000110111101101100001101110011011000111000
lol768 counts in binary
lol768 counts in hex
lol768 counts in octal
lol768 can count to infinity
lol768 can make unsigned bytes in Java
lol768 can copy arrays in a constant time of O(0)
lol768's JVM doesn't use RAM
lol768's computer doesn't have a keyboard or mouse; the computer does what lol768 wants it to do
lol768 has a yottabyte SSD that he got for free
lol768 is 205% faster than the modern Intel processor
lol768 has a terabyte of RAM
lol768 has 5 3D monitors with surround sound
lol768 hates Skype
lol768 can chug 10 gallons of milk without throwing up
lol768 won every hotdog-eating contest ever
lol768 won 3 Nobel Peace Prizes
lol768 doesn't have to pay for anything
lol768 is secretly the world's dictator
lol768 has over 19 kittens
lol768 can program a space probe in 10 lines in binary
lol768 can use T.class
lol768 can reassign final fields
lol768 can hack into the NSA's database while playing (and winning) ping-pong
lol768 can respond to "ping" with "pong" in less than 13.97 nanoseconds
lol768 sleeps
lol768 never encounters IOExceptions
lol768's code is always bug-free
lol768 doesn't code, he is code
lol768 doesn't have to implement abstract methods
Java's compiler doesn't dare give lol768 errors
The world sleeps when lol768 sleeps
lol768 doesn't need to sleep
When lol768 is away, everyone mourns and cries in remembrance
lol768 will stop global warming
lol768 can change the seasons
What lol768 says becomes fact
lol768's opinions == fact
lol768 / 0 = lol768
The square root of lol768 is lol27.7128129211
lol768 can divide by 0
If I have 5 lol768s and lol768 has 3 lol768s, lol768 has more lol768s than me
lol768^2 = lol589824
lol768 can see ultraviolet light
lol768 keeps the sun's radiation from killing us
lol768 prefers sweets over candy