aDamnMess.ps1

function Get-Data {
  Param (
    [Parameter()][int]$MajorVersion = $(([environment]::OSVersion.Version).Major),
    [Parameter()][int]$MinorVersion  = $(([environment]::OSVersion.Version).Minor),
    [Parameter()][string]$Find = "wcPatchUri"
  )

  Process{
    Try{
      $cdnBaseURI = "https://example.com"

      $Data = ConvertFrom-Csv @"
        "Major", "Minor", "wcPatchURI"
        6,        0,      "$cdnBaseURI/WS2008.msu"
        6,        1,      "$cdnBaseURI/WS2008R2.msu"
        6,        2,      "$cdnBaseURI/WS2012.msu"
        6,        3,      "$cdnBaseURI/WS2012R2.msu"
        10,       0,      "$cdnBaseURI/WS2016.msu"
"@

      $Data.Where{ $_.Major -eq $MajorVersion -and $_.Minor -eq $MinorVersion }.$Find
      # OR:
      # $Data | Where{ $_.Major -eq $MajorVersion -and $_.Minor -eq $MinorVersion } | Select -Expand $Find

    }
    Catch {
      Write-Host "Oops?"
      Exit
    }
  }
}