Viss/croissants.rar.zip.arg.ice.tiff

## croissants.rar.zip.arg.ice.tiff
*READ THIS TOP TO BOTTOM BEFORE STARTING TO COOK*
*DO NOT BLINDLY FOLLOW THIS RECIPE WITHOUT READING IT END TO END FIRST*
*croissants are weird.*

500g all purpose flour
10g salt
80g sugar
10g  yeast
300ml cool water
300g butter (NICE BUTTER. get salted kerrygold, or "european style" butter. this is where MOST of the flavor comes from. don't skimp here.
1 medium egg (For egg wash)

If you have a stand mixer, this is a lot easier, if not.. just buy a stand mixer. Kitchenaid
artisan series is a great one. Here's a video for reference, but I warn you, you will want to
slam this guys head in a car door - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJxaVD6eAtc - his recipe
is great, but he goes to insane, exacting measurements and you just don't have to do that.
at all. his recipe is good, but the technique is insanely contrived. you can skip MOST of it.

1) chuck flour, salt, sugar, yeast and water into stand mixer, mix on setting 1 or 2 with dough
hook until the dough forms and is a nice ball. it shouldnt be sticky or goopy. if its sticky or
goopy add half a tablespoon of flour and let it mix in for a minute or two and test.

2) Once the dough is ready, flour a surface and roll it out until its a big square, or as close
to a square as you can get it. you want it to be about a quarter inch thick of maybe a third of
an inch thick. You may need to add a bit of flour here and there to the work surface because the
dough will pick it up for a while. thats totally okay, it wont hurt anything, just make sure
youre dashing like, teaspoons of flour, not cups onto your work surface.
reference: https://twitter.com/Viss/status/1251977164955631617

3) on another surface, you're gonna beat the fuck out of some butter. Take the butter and put
it into a ziplock sandwich bag. one of the small ones, 4 or 5 inches, square. Seal the bag most
of the way but leave a little bit for air. Now you have to literally whack it with a rolling pin.
You're trying to smoosh the butter so that it takes the shape of the bag. this is 100000x easier
(and more fun) than the method in the video above. It doesnt have to be perfect but it does have
to be mostly-even. Once you have the butter beaten to fuck and its close to a square (see tweet
above) put it in the center of the dough and align its corners opposite the ones of the dough

4) fold the corners of the dough over the butter (its a "barrage" now) so that it sorta forms a
fancy envelope. like this: https://twitter.com/Viss/status/1211316087553327104

5) turn it over, pat it up and down (like in the video) with a rolling pin to get as many air
bubbles out as you can, then roll it out to be a rectangle. 5-6 inches long, and 18ish inches wide.
(see tweet thread above). then fold the long ends inward so you have a triple-fold, like you're
folding a letter. https://twitter.com/Viss/status/1251978553077317633

6) wrap that in saran wrap / clingfilm and plop it in the fridge for about an hour. this will
relax the gluten.

7) after an hour take it out and basically do that process again - roll it out to a long rectangle
fold into thirds. Do this twice (two "folds"), then back into the fridge for another hour

8) do aonther set of "two folds", then put it back in the fridge and let it sit for at least
12 hours (overnight is fine)

9) when it comes out, roll it out into a 4:3 rectangle. You'll be slicing it into triangles. '
https://twitter.com/Viss/status/1211676494696570880

10) once you have triangles, start at the fat end and start rolling them up. if you dont fuck
it up, you have croissants! :D - you can smear some stuff down the length of the dough if you
want a filling, like nutella or jam or ham and cheese or something. Or you can bake them without
filling and slice it open and do it sammich style. I'm not your dad.

11) transfer your croissants to a baking sheet with silpat. if you dont have silpat you can use
baking parchment, but really, silpat is glorious. you'll use it once and you'll buy 20 of em.
Once they're on the baking sheet, let them rise for 30-90 minutes. Dont let them go TOO LONG
\otherwise they turn into loafs and you lose all those glorious layers.

12) once they've risen enough, make some egg wash with the egg, and gently brush it on - be
careful, you dont want to knock the air out of these things.

13) Preheat your oven to 400 (maybe do this step 20 minutes or half an hour before you intend
to cook them.) You want to egg wash then basically chuck them in the oven right away. cook
for 15-20 minutes or until they look golden brown and amazing.

14) remove from oven, transfer to a wire rack for cooling.

15) take a shitload of pictures and post them on instagram and twitter and make everyone
furious that you made croissants and didnt invite them.
	READ THIS TOP TO BOTTOM BEFORE STARTING TO COOK
	DO NOT BLINDLY FOLLOW THIS RECIPE WITHOUT READING IT END TO END FIRST
	croissants are weird.

	500g all purpose flour
	10g salt
	80g sugar
	10g yeast
	300ml cool water
	300g butter (NICE BUTTER. get salted kerrygold, or "european style" butter. this is where MOST of the flavor comes from. don't skimp here.
	1 medium egg (For egg wash)

	If you have a stand mixer, this is a lot easier, if not.. just buy a stand mixer. Kitchenaid
	artisan series is a great one. Here's a video for reference, but I warn you, you will want to
	slam this guys head in a car door - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJxaVD6eAtc - his recipe
	is great, but he goes to insane, exacting measurements and you just don't have to do that.
	at all. his recipe is good, but the technique is insanely contrived. you can skip MOST of it.

	1) chuck flour, salt, sugar, yeast and water into stand mixer, mix on setting 1 or 2 with dough
	hook until the dough forms and is a nice ball. it shouldnt be sticky or goopy. if its sticky or
	goopy add half a tablespoon of flour and let it mix in for a minute or two and test.

	2) Once the dough is ready, flour a surface and roll it out until its a big square, or as close
	to a square as you can get it. you want it to be about a quarter inch thick of maybe a third of
	an inch thick. You may need to add a bit of flour here and there to the work surface because the
	dough will pick it up for a while. thats totally okay, it wont hurt anything, just make sure
	youre dashing like, teaspoons of flour, not cups onto your work surface.
	reference: https://twitter.com/Viss/status/1251977164955631617

	3) on another surface, you're gonna beat the fuck out of some butter. Take the butter and put
	it into a ziplock sandwich bag. one of the small ones, 4 or 5 inches, square. Seal the bag most
	of the way but leave a little bit for air. Now you have to literally whack it with a rolling pin.
	You're trying to smoosh the butter so that it takes the shape of the bag. this is 100000x easier
	(and more fun) than the method in the video above. It doesnt have to be perfect but it does have
	to be mostly-even. Once you have the butter beaten to fuck and its close to a square (see tweet
	above) put it in the center of the dough and align its corners opposite the ones of the dough

	4) fold the corners of the dough over the butter (its a "barrage" now) so that it sorta forms a
	fancy envelope. like this: https://twitter.com/Viss/status/1211316087553327104

	5) turn it over, pat it up and down (like in the video) with a rolling pin to get as many air
	bubbles out as you can, then roll it out to be a rectangle. 5-6 inches long, and 18ish inches wide.
	(see tweet thread above). then fold the long ends inward so you have a triple-fold, like you're
	folding a letter. https://twitter.com/Viss/status/1251978553077317633

	6) wrap that in saran wrap / clingfilm and plop it in the fridge for about an hour. this will
	relax the gluten.

	7) after an hour take it out and basically do that process again - roll it out to a long rectangle
	fold into thirds. Do this twice (two "folds"), then back into the fridge for another hour

	8) do aonther set of "two folds", then put it back in the fridge and let it sit for at least
	12 hours (overnight is fine)

	9) when it comes out, roll it out into a 4:3 rectangle. You'll be slicing it into triangles. '
	https://twitter.com/Viss/status/1211676494696570880

	10) once you have triangles, start at the fat end and start rolling them up. if you dont fuck
	it up, you have croissants! :D - you can smear some stuff down the length of the dough if you
	want a filling, like nutella or jam or ham and cheese or something. Or you can bake them without
	filling and slice it open and do it sammich style. I'm not your dad.

	11) transfer your croissants to a baking sheet with silpat. if you dont have silpat you can use
	baking parchment, but really, silpat is glorious. you'll use it once and you'll buy 20 of em.
	Once they're on the baking sheet, let them rise for 30-90 minutes. Dont let them go TOO LONG
	\otherwise they turn into loafs and you lose all those glorious layers.

	12) once they've risen enough, make some egg wash with the egg, and gently brush it on - be
	careful, you dont want to knock the air out of these things.

	13) Preheat your oven to 400 (maybe do this step 20 minutes or half an hour before you intend
	to cook them.) You want to egg wash then basically chuck them in the oven right away. cook
	for 15-20 minutes or until they look golden brown and amazing.

	14) remove from oven, transfer to a wire rack for cooling.

	15) take a shitload of pictures and post them on instagram and twitter and make everyone
	furious that you made croissants and didnt invite them.