- A box of shells
- 6 Tbsp. butter
- 1 C. unseasoned breadcrumbs
- 1/4 C. all-purpose flour
- 1/8 C. minced leeks
- 2 C. milk
- 1 C. light cream
- 1/2 C. grated fontina
- 2/3 C. grated Gruyere
- 1 2/3 C. grated Irish cheddar, or just sharp white cheddar
- 1/2 C. grated Parmigiano-Reggiano
- Pinch of cayenne pepper
- Pinch of nutmeg
- Pinch of white pepper
- Baby spinach, chiffonaded
- A couple strips of bacon, or some of that vegetarian business with a dash of liquid smoke
- Some scallions
Cook the pasta to almost al dente and set it aside; it should still have a little crunch to it. This sauce is thick enough that you don’t have to worry about the pasta holding it, so you can rinse the pasta under cold water to stop it from cooking if you need to.
You’re not doing that with your pasta normally though, right?
Okay. Good.
While you’re waiting, melt 3 Tbsp. of butter and mix it into your breadcrumbs. Throw, I dunno, like a quarter of the Parmigiano-Reggiano in there. Toss and set aside. Dice up your bacon and fry it up in a small skillet; set aside. Lower the heat and soften the leeks in the leftover fat; if you’re using the vegetarian bacon, soften the leeks in a Tbsp of butter with a tiny dash of liquid smoke in it. Start preheating your oven to 350.
In a small saucepan or skillet or whatever, heat your milk and cream to almost boiling; you’ll see a ring of bubbles around the outside of the pan. Once it gets there, turn the heat down to low.
In a big saucepan, melt the other 3 Tbsp. butter over low-medium heat. Add the flour and whisk until fully combined. It should start bubbling but not darkening; whisk every few seconds. Let it bubble evenly for about two minutes, then add the hot milk/cream mixture a half cup or so at a time—whisking constantly—then turn the heat up. Bring it all to a boil, then reduce the heat to medium-ish again (if you add a pinch of salt and pepper here you have made a bechamel sauce, though those don’t usually have cream in them). It shouldn’t be bubbling, but don’t let it get cold—reheating it will probably break your sauce, but it’s not the end of the world if it breaks, considering how we’re gonna use it. Add the nutmeg, cayenne, and white pepper. Chuck the leeks in there; whisk. Add the spinach, whisk. Add the bacon or “bacon,” whisk. Add the cheeses a handful at a time, whisking until the sauce has evened out before throwing in the next handful (now you have a sauce mornay, except with leeks, bacon, spinach, and way more cheese in it than a normal sauce mornay—a normal one only calls for like 1/4–1/2 cup of cheese).
Okay. Half the shells into a shallow baking dish (clear glass, if you got it), half the cheese sauce, mix. Rest of the shells, rest of the sauce, mix. Evenly distribute the breadcrumbs over the top. Throw it in the oven for ~20 minutes, the breadcrumbs and the bottom of the dish should be browning; if not, give it a little longer. Take that sucker out, sprinkle scallions on top, and you’re done.
do you think I won’t garnish this thing with more cheese because I assure you I will
Make a 50/50 mix of the leftover Gruyere and fontina cheeses. Take 3 Tbsp. of that and mix 1 tsp. of flour in there. Get a non-stick skillet going over medium heat and evenly distribute the cheese mixture in a big thin circle. Sprinkle with thyme. Let it bubble, maintaining the circle shape at the edges with your spatula, until you can see some medium-brown coming through the center of it. Carefully separate it from the pan and flip; you just want to cook the other side long enough for it to set. I remove mine and let it cool over the side of a mug to put a fancy curve in it.
You have made a frico and you are fancy as hell.
I also cut a real thin slice of french bread and put some fig jam on there, because you are about to eat six pounds of cheese and butter and bacon fat; a little sweetness every couple bites is nice to cut all that richness.
As much as you want; you’re an adult.
