akmcc/ten_stories.txt

## ten_stories.txt
Ten Stories
Ashton McCrate

1
There was a girl that liked to eat bananas and one day people kept giving and giving her bananas. She couldn’t eat them all. She just kept carrying them around with her and when she met a dog, she pet it twice and whispered, “You’ll never know what it’s like to carry so many bananas.”


2
I met this small man once that wore an even smaller dress. And when I approached him, he said “On the eve of my 10th birthday, I cried because, after that day, my age would always be more than one digit.”


3
Sometimes, when I’m in love, my knees become taffy-born fairies and they dance in the air and my thighs look like moldy willow bark. The only thing that helps is a tall cup of gin and a dozen or so back stretches.


4
I rescued a cat in my backyard and I painted its nails to make it look like the super villain of alley cats. I don’t think it made it. I think my old lady neighbor fashioned the other cat a cape.


5
One time I stacked 15 mugs in to a pyramid and threw q-tips at it. Then my roommate came home and laughed too loud so I couldn’t concentrate anymore. She probably doesn’t even know that some people are really struggling out there.


6
I had this pen that would only write limericks, but my non-friend borrowed it one day and then said that she lost it. So I played Sims 3 and my mom made meatloaf and we all learned about self-deprecating humor.


7
There’s an industrial building across the street from the Wigs R Us where clowns go in and bankers come out. It must be a factory of sorts. Or a rehab. Or a center for loss and life transition.


8
When the pool was bright blue, we wouldn’t go in. Something about the pH levels causing spider bites to turn in to tattoos. That was the same summer the postman gave us poison suckers and we ate leaves for the antidote. Those things have a lot of vitamin C.


9
I tell my cat everything and I teach her the books of the Bible. First, Genesis. She tells me nothing, but I think it’s because she’s teaching me about posturing. Kind of like how Nelson Mandela only eats tiny tangerines when he’s standing on one foot. I think he was the one that said “Be careful, that Furby might pinch your finger.”


10
Sometimes, when dogs’ eyebrows are too long, I wonder what it would be like to lead around a blind person. Do you stop to let her smell the roses? What if her coat is so long it drags on the ground and collects up all the wet leaves? Do I even try to describe the woman that’s always dropping bananas?
	Ten Stories
	Ashton McCrate

	1
	There was a girl that liked to eat bananas and one day people kept giving and giving her bananas. She couldn’t eat them all. She just kept carrying them around with her and when she met a dog, she pet it twice and whispered, “You’ll never know what it’s like to carry so many bananas.”


	2
	I met this small man once that wore an even smaller dress. And when I approached him, he said “On the eve of my 10th birthday, I cried because, after that day, my age would always be more than one digit.”


	3
	Sometimes, when I’m in love, my knees become taffy-born fairies and they dance in the air and my thighs look like moldy willow bark. The only thing that helps is a tall cup of gin and a dozen or so back stretches.


	4
	I rescued a cat in my backyard and I painted its nails to make it look like the super villain of alley cats. I don’t think it made it. I think my old lady neighbor fashioned the other cat a cape.


	5
	One time I stacked 15 mugs in to a pyramid and threw q-tips at it. Then my roommate came home and laughed too loud so I couldn’t concentrate anymore. She probably doesn’t even know that some people are really struggling out there.


	6
	I had this pen that would only write limericks, but my non-friend borrowed it one day and then said that she lost it. So I played Sims 3 and my mom made meatloaf and we all learned about self-deprecating humor.


	7
	There’s an industrial building across the street from the Wigs R Us where clowns go in and bankers come out. It must be a factory of sorts. Or a rehab. Or a center for loss and life transition.


	8
	When the pool was bright blue, we wouldn’t go in. Something about the pH levels causing spider bites to turn in to tattoos. That was the same summer the postman gave us poison suckers and we ate leaves for the antidote. Those things have a lot of vitamin C.


	9
	I tell my cat everything and I teach her the books of the Bible. First, Genesis. She tells me nothing, but I think it’s because she’s teaching me about posturing. Kind of like how Nelson Mandela only eats tiny tangerines when he’s standing on one foot. I think he was the one that said “Be careful, that Furby might pinch your finger.”


	10
	Sometimes, when dogs’ eyebrows are too long, I wonder what it would be like to lead around a blind person. Do you stop to let her smell the roses? What if her coat is so long it drags on the ground and collects up all the wet leaves? Do I even try to describe the woman that’s always dropping bananas?