What happens on the internet, lives forever. Especially casual outrageous behaviour in an official support channel on IRC. Hold your drinks, what unfolds is as amusing as it is sad.

1-wtf.md

IRC is a beautiful place, filled with beautiful people. João Francisco Fragão Rocha Marques (xsrtsect_ in the log) joined the #LaTeX (typesetting software) support channel on IRC, posted his CV (the pastebin link from the log, replicated below as 4-paste.tex), asked a vague question, then disqualified himself from gaining assistance from anyone around to witness his stupidity.

When I fully realized its depths, I nearly expelled tea via my sinus.

So, anyone looking to hire this fellow, expect uncontrolled outbursts unless directly supervised.

2-irc-freenode-net--latex.log

## Log starts Tuesday, March 10th, 00:58:15 UTC, times in EST/EDT.

20:58:15 xsrtsect_ (~Strongbit@bl13-107-96.dsl.telepac.pt) joined the channel
20:59:11 <xsrtsect_> http://pastebin.com/jsTarbMY
20:59:14 <xsrtsect_> WHAT
20:59:15 <xsrtsect_> IS
20:59:17 <xsrtsect_> WRONG
20:59:22 <xsrtsect_> I am losing my head
21:00:38 GothAlice hands xsrtsect_ some tea.
21:01:20 GothAlice sips her own tea while she waits for MacTeX to re-download.
21:01:44 <xsrtsect_> http://pastebin.com/ab5kUYn1
21:02:26 xsrtsect_ puts his cock out of his pants because he realised GothAlice is a she
21:02:57 xsrtsect_ regrets because also realises the room is moderated
21:03:02 <GothAlice> That's… totally appropriate, and going in the archive.
21:04:23 fledermaus blinks.
21:04:38 <fledermaus> every time I think my opinion of humanity can't get any lower.
21:04:43 <fledermaus> someone proves me wrong.
21:05:03 <xsrtsect_> yeah I hate those bastards too
21:07:31 <GothAlice> fledermaus: And one wonders why there are so few women in technology… though rarely is it so blatant.  Most have the sense to do that over direct message.  ;)
21:15:21 <GothAlice> fledermaus: Actually, now that I think about it, posting his CV, then making such a statement, seems like a broader failure.  ¬_¬
21:15:35 <fledermaus> face ← palm

3-summary.textile

Handle	xsrtsect_
Name	João Francisco Fragão Rocha Marques
Location	Sintra, Rio de Mouro
E-Mail Address	joao.r.marques@tecnico.ulisboa.pt

4-paste.tex

\documentclass{letter}
\usepackage{amsmath}
\usepackage{graphicx}
\usepackage{amssymb,amsmath,latexsym,textcomp,mathrsfs,fontenc}
%\setcounter{secnumdepth}{2}
\usepackage[english]{babel}
\usepackage[latin1]{inputenc}
 
\begin{document}
 
\begin{tabular}{ll}
\multicolumn{2}{l}{\textbf{Curriculum Vitae}}\\
\\
\multicolumn{2}{l}{\textbf{Dados pessoais}}\\
Nome:             & João Francisco Fragão Rocha Marques\\
Localidade:       & Sintra, Rio de Mouro\\
Telemóvel:        & ...\\
E-mail:           & joao.r.marques@tecnico.ulisboa.pt\\
Data de nascimento:    & 27-05-1991\\
Nacionalidade:      & Português\\
Estado civil:   & Solteiro\\
Interesses:         & Matemática, Informática\\
\\
 
\multicolumn{2}{l}{\textbf{Educação}}\\
Licenciatura:         & Matemática Aplicada e Computação, IST\\
Mestrado (em conclusão):                  & Matemática e Aplicações, IST\\
\\
 
\multicolumn{2}{l}{\textbf{Linguas estrangeiras}}\\
Inglês:               & ITB TOEFL (score - 92)\\
\end{tabular}
\\
 
\multicolumn{2}{l}{\textbf{Outras skills}}\\
Engenharia Reversa      & \\
Experiencia em análise de malware & \\
Competições CTF & \\
Proficiência em C & \\
Proficiência em C++ & \\
Proficiência em Wolfram Mathematica & \\
Proficiência em Assembly x86 & \\
\end{tabular}
\\
 
\multicolumn{2}{l}{\textbf{Projectos desenvolvidos}}\\
Descompilador VMP &\\
\end{tabular}
\\
 
\multicolumn{2}{l}{\textbf{Projectos futuros}}\\
Desobfuscação através de optimização (LLVM) &\\
\end{tabular}
\\
 
\end{document}