PHP Object Oriented Programming Reinvented (for PHP 5.4)

oo.php

<?php

// Define the 'class' class
$class = (new Obj)
	->fn('new', function() {
		$newClass = (new Obj($this->methods))
			->fn('new', function() {
				$obj = new Obj($this->imethods);
				call_user_func_array(array($obj, 'init'), func_get_args());
				return $obj;
			});
		return $newClass;
	})
	->fn('def', function($name, $fn) {
			$this->imethods[$name] = $fn->bindTo($this);
			return $this;
	})
	->fn('extend', function() {
			return clone $this;
	});

// Define a new class
$animal = $class->new()
	->def('init', function($name) {
		$this->name = $name;
	})
	->def('speak', function() {
		echo "My name is $this->name\n";
	});

// Extend a class
$dog = $animal->extend()
	->def('speak', function() {
		echo "My name is $this->name, I have just met you and I love you, SQUIRREL!\n";
	})
	->def('bark', function() {
		echo "Woof!\n";
	});

$jimmy = $animal->new('Jimmy');
$jimmy->speak();

$doug = $dog->new('Doug');
$doug->speak();
$doug->bark();


// ---- The guts...

class Obj
{
	public function __construct($methods=array())
	{
		$this->methods = array_map(function($fn) {
			return $fn->bindTo($this);
		}, $methods);
	}

	public function method($name)
	{
		if (!isset($this->methods[$name]))
			throw new BadMethodCallException($name);

		return $this->methods[$name];
	}

	public function fn($name, $fn)
	{
		$this->methods[$name] = $fn->bindTo($this);
		return $this;
	}

	public function __call($name, $args)
	{
		return call_user_func_array(
			$this->method($name),
			$args
		);
	}
}

The only thing I liked about any of this was the squirrel. Please don't do this.

https://wiki.php.net/rfc/anonymous_classes

Use them if they pass.