Hassan's Rumpus Room

  Hassan  shrieks  out:  "This is  your doing,  A.J.! You
poopa my party!"
  A.J.  looks  at  him, face  remote as  limestone: "Uppa
your ass, you liquefying gook."
  A   horde   of   lust-mad   American  women   rush  in.
Dripping  cunts,  from  farm  and  dude  ranch,  factory,
brothel,  country  club,  penthouse  and   suburb,  motel
and yacht and cocktail bar, strip off riding  clothes, ski
togs, evening dresses, levis,  tea gowns,  print dresses,
slacks,  bathing  suits  and  kimonos.  They  scream  and
yipe  and howl,  leap on  the guests  like bitch  dogs in
heat with rabies. They  claw at  the hanged  boys shriek-
ing:  "You  fairy!  You  bastard!   Fuck  me!   Fuck  me!
Fuck  me!"   The  guests   flee  screaming,   dodge  among
the hanged boys, overturn iron lungs.
  A.J.:  "Call  out  my  Sweitzers,  God  damn  it! Guard
me from these she-foxest"
  Mr. Hyslop, A. J.'s secretary, looks up from  his comic
book: "The Sweitzers liquefy already."
  (Liquefaction  involves  protein  cleavage  and  reduc-
tion  to  liquid  which is  absorbed into  someone else's
protoplasmic being. Hassan, a  notorious liquefactionist,
is probably the beneficiary in this case.)
  A.J.:   "Gold-bricking   cocksuckers!  Where's   a  man
without his Sweitzers? Our  backs are  to the  wall, gen-
tlemen.  Our  very  cocks  at stake.  Stand by  to resist
boarders, Mr. Hyslop, and issue short arms to the men."
  A.J. whips out  a cutlass  and begins  decapitating the
American Girls. He sings lustily:
Fifteen men on the dead man's cheat
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum.
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum.

Mr.  Hyslop,  bored  and  resigned:  "Oh Gawd!  He's at
it again." He waves the Jolly Roger listlessly.
A.J.,  surrounded  and  fighting  against  overwhelming
odds,  throws  back his  head and  makes with  the hog-
call. Immediately  a thousand  rutting Eskimos  pour in
grunting and squealing, faces  tumescent, eyes  hot and
red, lips purple, fall on the American women.
(Eskimos  have  a  rutting   season  when   the  tribes
meet in short Summer to  disport themselves  in orgies.
Their faces swell and lips turn purple. )
A  House  Dick  with  cigar  two  feet long  sticks his
head in  through the  wall: "Have  you got  a menagerie
in here?"
Hassan  wrings  his  hands:   "A  shambles!   A  filthy
shambles! By Allah  I never  see anything  so downright
nasty!"
He whirls on A.J. who is sitting on a sea chest, parrot
on  shoulder,  patch  over one  eye, drinking  rum from
a  tankard.  He  scans  the horizon  with a  huge brass
telescope.
Hassan:  "You  cheap  Factualist  bitch!  Go  and never
darken my rumpus room again!"