Hi, [insert recruiter's first name here]-
I've gone to some lengths to save everyone some time by maintaining a FAQ page on my resume website: http://resume.livingston-gray.com/faq.html
I've even gone so far as to change my LinkedIn profile so that it directs recruiters to read the FAQs before contacting me about relocation opportunities. So, thank you, [recruiter's first name]! By carefully ignoring all of that information, you've freed me from having to feel even remotely guilty for sending you a canned response.
Because if you can't be bothered to spare my profile even a few moments of actually reading what's right in front of your face, I'm pretty sure you won't bother listening to anything else I might tell you either.
Good luck with that breadth-over-depth approach. (You're gonna need it when my profession gets around to automating yours.)
-Sam
This is brilliant! Do you mind if I use it as well?