System: "Adventure Skeletons!"
- Player: Mac
- Ancestry: Goblin
- Favorite Bone: Humerus
Wakk is a goblin that was captured and turned into a skeleton by the Wizard Marfonius. He wasn't killed and reanimated, he just straight up got skeleton-ified. So he's the only "living" skeleton.
- Player: Derek
- Ancestry: Skeleton
- Favorite Bone: Phalanges
Indiana was first reanimated in another dungeon, a long time ago. He left, and wandered the land until he was captured by servants of Marfonius and put to work in his tower.
- Player: Avelina
- Ancestry: Dwarf
- Favorite Bone: Pelvis
Billy was mining when he fell into the dungeon below the tower. He was found there and reanimated.
- Player: Steven
- Ancestry: Skeleton
- Favorite Bone: Radius
Bonafido has been serving the Wizard for over 600 years. He's a refined skeleton who avoids conflict. He's one of the Wizard's most trusted servants, and is responsible for the capture of most of the creatures in the tower. He's kind of a scumbag.
The skeletons are sick and tired of working for almost nothing in the dark, spooky tower. The leader of the Skeleton's Union won't stand up against the Wizard, so they've decided to just leave. They're going to travel to the human dungeon, where all those awful fleshies come from.
They head down to the second floor, which is filled with traps. From the other end of the hall, they see a Barbarian Hero emerge, and charge down the hall to slay the skeletons. He is quickly sliced in half by a trap. Billy starts walking down the hall, trusting that the traps should activate behind him. He makes it pretty far when an arrow trap fires from the end of the hall, hitting Bonafido in the torso, knocking him apart. Indiana grabs Bonafido's skull and rolls it down the hallway like a bowling ball. Bonafido helpfully guides the party through the hall without triggering any more traps. They place Bonafido's skull on the fresh body of the Barbarian. Bonafido stands in a fire trap to burn off the excess flesh, which only weighs him down.
They make for the first floor, a spider-filled diarrhea swamp. (This floor was initially just a spider den. Most adventurers shit their pants on seeing the giant spiders, hence the swamp.) The first thing they notice, besides the smell, is the slain corpse of Ms. Spider. Bonafido attempts to jump onto her body, but belly flops into the diarrhea. Billy wades into the swamp carrying Indiana on his shoulders. Bonafido and Wakk use Ms. Spider's corpse as a raft to get across.
The skeletons finally emerge, and make for the nearest running water to wash off the diarrhea. They head to the river, and spot some humans talking and holding long sticks. The skeletons walk along the riverbed (ala Pirates of the Caribbean), and Wakk pops out and spooks them. The humans run, but one of them is vanquished by the heroic skeletons.
They follow the other human's tracks back to a large human dungeon on the river. They walk underwater to the docks, and pop up onto a boat. Wakk stealthily impales a small fleshbag like a corn cob with his two daggers. They travel through the entrance to the dungeon, killing a guard along the way.
The skeletons emerge into a vast crowd of fleshies. The dungeon is decorated with lanterns, and they appear to be celebrating. Many of the fleshies are not human, but a wide variety of beasts and monstrous creatures. They hardly notice the skeletons. Indiana heads for a building full of humans talking and drinking. They walk up stairs, hoping to find and slay the wizard of this dungeon. They do kill a couple of people, some of which were sleeping. Billy finds himself a metal hat in the kitchen, and Wakk sets fire to the kitchen. They leave the building and bar the door, applauding themselves for their clever clearing of that floor of the dungeon.
Following the crowd, they find a large clearing with a fancy building at the center, reminiscent of their home at the Wizard's Tower. The building is surrounded with grass littered with small stones. People are standing near the stones and placing candles on them.
They enter the building, which is filled with fleshies sitting on benches and listening to a Wizard give a speech. The skeletons recognize the enchantments the Wizard is casting, and chase her up the stairs. The Wizard fires some blasts of magic, and barricades herself behind a warding spell. Unable to reach her and aware of the guards rushing up to meet them, the skeletons flee (not before setting some pews on fire of course).
On the hunt for more Wizards, the group heads up to another large building guarded by three fleshies. After some pleading, they convince one to let them see the entryway to the Keep. Once inside, they upset the guards. One of them is spooked by Billy, and runs away in terror. The skeletons pretend to have been victims of guard brutality, and the second guard leaves to report the first to his superiors. All alone, the skeletons slay the first guard, and Indiana assumes control of his body.
Now inside the keep, they head up the stairs (Wizards are bound to be at the top of any building). They find a man sitting alone inside a dark library. Wakk assassinates him gracefully, but does not feel the sort of satisfaction that should come with killing a Wizard. They continue upwards, arriving in a fancy bedroom. They enter a smaller room, where an old man appears to be stewing in a large pot of water. Proclaiming to be the Lord of this city, he makes a pathetic attempt to defend himself with a candlestick. Indiana makes quick work of the foul beast.
Certain they must be close, they search the room for a key to the locked door. Wakk finds it and opens the door to yet another staircase. Jackpot. It leads to a large stone hall, lit with sconces of green flame. A terrible Wizard spots them, and summons four of her own skeletons to oppose them. Billy tries to conver them to his cause, but the Wizard's powers of subjugation are too great. They engage in a messy skeleton brawl.
Wakk makes a mad dash for the Wizard and lands a few stabs, but has to retreat to help his friends. Billy and Indiana have been reduced to skulls. They get themselves together with Wakk's help, and disassemble the traitors. The Wizard, cornered, compiles the bones into a giant skeletal abomination. Luckily, the heroes slay the foul Wizard, ending the magic animating the creature.
Satisfied with a long night's hard work, our brave adventurers rest up and make plans for their next great escapade.