Little steps are usually more effective at talking the brain into an idea than immediate spontaneous commands. Use these three recipes when necessary:
🆘Urgent Recovery: For tough times full of anxiety or depression 🤕Ego Validation: For when your ego is hurt 💼Productivity Negotiation: For when you are being lazy for too long
1. Urgent Recovery
These set of steps won't solve your current problem but will stabilize you to approach it with a healthier perspective:
1.1. Cut distractions ✂
Shut down your communication with the external world for the rest of the day. Before you start fixing yourself you need to remove all distractions. It will bring relief and peace.
1.2. Take care of your body
Before fixing the mind, you need to make sure the body is comfortable. It's the only tool you have, so you better take care of it:
💤Sleep well, especially if you haven't done so lately 🍝Eat healthy stuff, chocolate or banana are great temporary cheats 💊If you are sick, take some pills. It is harder to go back to normal when your body doesn't feel well
1.3. Declutter your mind 🧠
Your mind is crowded with all kinds of thoughts at the moment. It's time to do some detox and let them all out. To declutter your mind it only takes attention. Listen to your mind and it will start healing:
- 🧘 Medidate with calm music
- ✍ Write down your thoughts
📢Or talk to a friend who is a good listener
Either way, don't stop until you feel like there's nothing else to say. This will give you a better perspective of the situation and will help you understand your feelings better. It will also serve as a temporary relief.
1.4. Consider other narratives
Over the past hours/days you've focused on a narrative that has caused you a lot of negative feelings. Now it's time to take a look around and find other narratives that give you more perspectives to approach your issue. Consider trying any of these:
📺Watch these: Oh, the places you'll go, When I grow up, Wear sunscreen 🌞Do activities under the sun such as playing sports
- 🤼 Hangout with friends who project good vibes
💚Do something nice for someone else 🙏List things to be thankful for 🤣Watch some comedy shows
After doing these, you will realize you have been distracted from a lot of beautiful things happening around you, and you will feel revitalized to approach your problem.
1.5. Change, Leave, or Accept
Now that you body has rested, your mind has calmed down, and you widened your narrative, it's time to fix your situation. You have three options:
- 🙋 Change the situation: By taking action or speaking out. But if you cannot change it then...
- 🚶 Leave the situation: By leaving that place and going somewhere else. But if you cannot leave it then...
🤝Accept the situation: By embracing it for as long as it is necessary, working on top of it, and letting time do the rest.
For example, if you are stuck in a traffic jam:
- Change the situation: Unfourtunately you cannot change traffic. - Leave the situation: Sometimes you can take an alternative route, but not always. - Accept the situation: The only path is to accept the fact that you are late, traffic is horrible, and there's nothing you can do about it. So you might as well embrace for as long as it takes, hours perhaps. And next time consider other transportation mean or avoid peak hours.
For example, if you are being harassed at work:
- Change the situation: Tell HR, your boss, or send a letter demanding better work conditions. Yet, it might prove useless sometimes. - Leave the situation: Quit your job and find another one. But sometimes there are children to feed and bills to pay. You cannot always do this. - Accept the situation: Embrace it and accept it as a challenge that will last a couple of weeks or months more, until you can finally change or leave such working conditions.
2. Ego Validation
- Your ego is hurt when a circumstance weakens the image you have of yourself. You must immediately reinforce who you are by abstracting yourself from the circumstances you are in and seeing the whole picture of who you are as a person.
- Your ego is easily hurt when it depends on one thing only. Hedge your bets in life.
- Catch up in your projects
- Work out
- Get a haircut
- Dress well
- Clean your room
- Watch things that make you laugh
- Do stuff you enjoy
3. Productivity Negotiation
- What would the people I admire do?
- You can feel sore tomorrow or you can feel sorry tomorrow. You choose
- Action leads to more action, excuses lead to more excuses, both have their momentum
- Half-ass your habits at least. You will lose motivation if you fail completely
- Compensate your body when you have pushed yourself too much
"Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway" Earl Nightingale
"Growing is about saying no to the things that are not moving you in the right direction" Tyler RSD
- Acknowledge and accept your lack of motivation to work.
- Stop wasting energy fighting your lazyness.
- Start a negotiation with your body and find a way to make it work. Make an agreement as to what duties you will perform, for how long, and what will be the benefits.
- For example, set your body to perform your duties for 15 minutes, and then go back to your lazy life. Like working for 1 pomodoro and then watching a netflix series.
- If you are sleepy, then sleep for 15 min, and then do 15 minutes of work.
- If you lack motivation to start, watch motivational videos such as the ones listed above, or find a partner to start with.
- If your body is absolutely reluctant of any agreement, then quit fighting, save energy, and try again the next day.