Blowing Up Our Hubot - Kirk Style!

destruct.coffee

module.exports = (robot) ->

	actions = [
		"Warp Core overload",
		"massive movie explosion",
		"massive Joel hissy fit",
		"End of William Shatner's career"
	]

	halfWayMessage = [
		"Maybe time to get to the escape pods / transporter room?",
		"Klingons have just boarded the ship!"
	]

	robot.respond /request(ing)* security access/i, (res) ->
		if robot.auth.hasRole res.message.user, 'jedi'
			res.send "Identity confirmed, #{res.message.user.name}"
			setTimeout ->
				res.reply "Awaiting your instructions…"
			, 1000
			robot.brain.set 'destruct_authorised', true
			setTimeout ->
				robot.brain.set 'destruct_authorised', false
			, 5 * 60 * 1000
		else
			res.reply "You're not authorised. Go suck a lemon!"


	robot.respond /destruct sequence ([1-3])\,* code (.*)/i, (res) ->
		if robot.auth.hasRole res.message.user, 'jedi'
			sequence = parseInt(res.match[1])
			code = res.match[2].toUpperCase()

			if robot.brain.get 'destruct_authorised'
				switch sequence
					when 1
						if code is '11A'
							res.reply "Confirmed, destruct sequence one accepted."
							setTimeout ->
								res.reply "Awaiting sequence two"
							, 1000
							robot.brain.set 'destruct_stage', 2
						else
							res.reply "Are you… trying to… blow me up?"
					when 2
						if code is '11A2B' and robot.brain.get('destruct_stage') is 2
							res.reply "Confirmed, destruct sequence two accepted."
							setTimeout ->
								res.reply "Awaiting sequence three"
							, 1000
							robot.brain.set 'destruct_stage', 3
						else
							res.reply "You need to brush up on your Star Trek, laddy!"
					when 3
						if code is '1B2B3' and robot.brain.get('destruct_stage') is 3
							res.reply "Destruct sequence completed and engaged"
							robot.brain.set 'destruct_stage', 4
							setTimeout ->
								res.reply "Awaiting final code for one-minute countdown"
							, 1000
						else
							res.reply "Ensign authorisation code 95 wictor wictor"

			else
				res.reply "Security authorisation required"
		else
			res.reply "You're not authorised."

	robot.respond /code 000 destruct 0/i, (res) ->
		if robot.auth.hasRole res.message.user, 'jedi'
			if robot.brain.get('destruct_authorised') and robot.brain.get('destruct_stage') is 4
				res.reply "Destruct sequence is activated"
				setTimeout ->
					res.send "#{res.random actions} in…"

					timeLeft = 60
					timer = setInterval ->
						if timeLeft is 30
							res.send "30… #{res.random halfWayMessage}"
						else if timeLeft > 0
							res.send timeLeft--
						else
							res.send "https://youtu.be/WCSKXugQrP0?t=223"
							clearInterval timer
					, 1000
				, 1000
			else
				res.reply "Go easy on the Shatner impressions, eh?"
		else
			res.reply "You're not authorised."