Empathy plays a central role in my life, and always making an attempt at empathy and seeing where someone else is coming from is something I pride myself on. Sometimes it seems like extending a little understanding is the least you can do for someone else. It’s easy to disregard someone’s bad attitude or reluctance to cooperate in a group as just that, a bad attitude. But if you take the time to show empathy and give the other person a chance to speak up and share their ideas, or do it their way, then you might just see that they were too shy to speak up or had done the task differently in the past. I really appreciate when those around me extend empathy towards me, it can make the difference between a good and bad interaction. The closest relationships that I have are because of empathy. I think when you really "get" someone, you have taken the time to know them and what makes them tick, you have listened, comiserated and laughed with them and you know how they feel.
In the article by Mathieu Turpault (https://www.bresslergroup.com/blog/why-empathic-design/) he discusses that because his team used empathy and really dove deep into the needs of their users they were able to come up with a product that meets a very specific need that they may have overlooked otherwise. “The product we ended up designing includes features that let users – even those with severe arthritis – easily secure cylindrical items like pill bottles. We wouldn’t have identified this opportunity for incremental innovation if we hadn’t put ourselves in peoples’ shoes.” Taking the time to get to know their users and their real needs made the product they were designing better for the people who are actually going to use it. You can use this same method when creating software. If you take the time to understand your user, their needs and where they are coming from you can build a better, more accessable site.
If everyone on the team uses empathy to help understand each other’s perspectives and to take any provided feedback and utilize it to improve, then you will have a very effective team. Your team would not be mired down with interpersonal conflicts that can sometimes arise and you will be able to move from one task to the next with ease. “A highly skilled team can almost always overcome technical challenges, but navigating interpersonal issues is much more tricky. This is where empathy comes in: Empathy enables people to communicate better with each other and to function more effectively as a team.” - Anne Spalding Muse article (https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-surprising-and-nontechnical-skill-you-need-to-succeed-in-tech). This really strikes me as sage advice. Technical issues in the world of software development are going to arise, no question. But if you have a team that works well together and is highly effective then you can overcome these technical issues with ease. When you get along with your coworkers it makes the day go quicker, it makes you want to come in to work and it helps you be a better worker and better coworker. I think there would be a lot less office politics and other interpersonal issues that mire different offices if empathy was taught and practiced more often.
I had a coworker who always provided, what to me was, very nit-picky feedback during the peer review process and seemed entirely unapproachable for questions for follow-up. I started to think that she was targeting me specifically, just to be mean! Other people on our team provided feedback too, but the most negative feedback was always from her. One day I finally had had enough and went to speak directly and ask her about the peer review. We ended up having a great conversation and she was able to see how I could view the feedback as nit-picky, but she was just following protocol to ensure there weren't additional problems down the line. She really had the big picture of how the things we did filtered down to the other teams so she was using this knowledge to make sure the work was correct. She admitted she wasn’t one for calling out the good things but said that she would make an effort to provide some positive notes along with any required changes. Once I showed empathy and got to know her and put my own ego aside we ended up working great together and she made me better at my job and I helped her provide better feedback.
When do you find it most difficult to be empathetic in professional settings? How can you improve your skills when faced with these scenarios?
I think it’s the most difficult for me to be empathetic to my coworkers when it doesn’t seem like they are doing their fair share of the work, or if the work they are not doing doesn’t seem like quality work. I realize that they would not get better at anything if they don’t know they are doing anything wrong and if clear expectations have not been set. To improve I would need to take the time to reach out directly and ask if they have any questions I can answer for them, or if they need any help instead of just being secretly mad at them. I would need to work on self-awareness as suggested in The Muse article. It would be important for me to remember that everyone works at a different pace and although I might think they are working slow they may have extenuating circumstances limiting their pace, but that doesn't change their work. Remembering to practice active listening and giving someone else patience and understanding would serve me well in these situations. “Empathy is the pathway to better communication, and the combination of logical and emotional skills is the key to more effective environments for all.” - Anne Spalding, The Muse. Really taking the information from these articles to heart and practing them everyday would make the difference in situations I find it hard to be empathetic.