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Created Jul 18, 2020
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In a shocking finding, scientist discovered a herd of unicorns living in a remote, previously unexplored valley, in the Andes Mountains. Even more surprising to the researchers was the fact that the unicorns spoke perfect English.

“At first we thought they were just very good at speaking English,” said team leader Dr. Renard Hodges. “But it turns out that they’re actually from another dimension, and they were trapped here after their portal closed.”

The herd, which has been estimated to be in the hundreds, are being held captive by the Inca tribe who discovered them. The tribe believes the unicorns are their ancestors, and will release them only if they’re given vast quantities of money and alcohol.

“We don’t have much choice,” said Hodges. “If we don’t give them what they want, the unicorns will kill us all.”

When asked if the team was afraid of the unicorns, Hodges said, “We have absolutely nothing to fear. Our armor is made from the finest titanium.”

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