Original document: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1y3TgJaGm4G49k1TOCTODvMf2DLddmXmGeeJphxRr1ts/edit
Burning Man is a beautiful transcendental experience focused on immediacy and participation. It can be life changing. It can be powerful. But lest we forget, it is a logistical nightmare. You are living and partying in the middle of THE MOST inhospitable environment you have ever seen. I am presenting this guide to you in hopes of sharing some things I’ve learned or wish I knew earlier.
Anyone who has done this before will tell you that your time and effort leading up to the Burn will be stressful. There are so many things you will want or need or have questions about, and my hope is that this guide will give you a better idea of where to focus your energy.
I’m going to try to cover lots of info, from the big-picture philosophical shit down to little tips and hacks. My hope here is that as I paint the big picture with broad strokes, I’ll be able to sneak in little burn-hacks like “baby wipes are a great way to stay fresh between showers!” Hopefully this information will help you be more focused and level headed leading up to the burn, and completely ready to rock n roll once you hit Playa.
-
Every year people ask me “what advice would you give a first timer?” and I will always start with this:
In the weeks leading up to the Burn you will be filled with an insane urge to fill up your Amazon/Etsy cart and buy buy buy! There is an energy inside of you, a confused sense of unpreparedness, and your default solution to that sensation will be to purchase your way out of the problem. I’m going to ask that you do your best to stifle this urge. I say this for a few reasons, some practical and others philosophical.
Firstly, people bring a lot of crap to the desert. There is so much shit out there already, nobody is going to miss your shit. Focus on basics: plenty of water, food, being comfortable and safely lit, not dying etc. These things can be done very easily and cheaply. Everyone wants to bring a few silly things, but in a place where everyone is surrounded by the most over-the-top, fun and silly things of all time, your little Amazon trinkets will be white noise. Also, you’re going to lose all your shit anyway, or forget to bust it out, or break it, so why even bother.
Secondly, Burning Man (to me) is all about using your wits and your mitts to CREATE cool shit. It bothers me that Amazon and Etsy sell ready-made and marketed “Thing For The Playa!” If you want a sweet burning man hat, hit a thrift store for a silly hat, attach some gaudy thrift store jewelry/scarves/fabrics/faux-flowers, smack some El Wire on that piece, and VOILA! So, don’t buy your burn. Make your burn. Creating will scratch that itch better than buying will, and give you something to do with all your anxious energy.
Finally, there is this beautiful anti-commerce sentiment on the Playa: Decommodification. The idea that your money is meaningless. That your shit doesn’t matter. I challenge you to extend that to your pre-burn as well. We (burners) spend so much time sucking our own dicks about how our gathering is non-corporate and non-commercial, but everyone drops a thousand dollars at Home Depot and Amazon and Walmart in the weeks leading up. So, I urge you, don’t panic in your prep. No amount of shit is going to make or break your burn. Your mental energy and money is better spent other places than online panic-shopping. For your entire life society has been spending kajillions of dollars to reinforce the idea that buying stuff will fix you. For one week out of the year, you can truly escape that in our dusty utopia. Lean into that. -
MOOP = “Matter Out Of Place” = Fucking Trash. It’s bad. There are NO trash cans on Playa. Pack it in, pack it out. Think about what that means and how to pack accordingly. Take everything out of its packaging before bringing it. Even things like the papery exterior of an onion. No single use items (paper plates and glowsticks drive me BONKERS!) A watermelon sounds great in the desert, but consider that a rotting rind is going to be sitting in a hot garbage bag until you put it in your car and spend 6 hours driving out. Pasta creates grey water. Rice does not. Bring an empty altoids tin around with you for cigarette butts. Boas, feathers, sequins are all big no-nos because they leak trash all over the place. Ya feel me? Start thinking about your things, what your garbage footprint will be, and how to reduce it. People on Playa take MOOP seriously. There is no easier way to spot a noob than some dipshit being cavalier about their trash.
-
Everytime I check out a burner Facebook page, I’m blown away by the number of people asking the same basic question. “Hey, I am considering (blank) to reduce the amount of heat/dust I have to deal with.” People spend lots of time and effort trying to devise clever ways to outsmart the heat and dust. Reflective tape, weatherproofing, mylar, “dust-proofing” schemes. These are fools’ errands, particularly for newbies. Seriously. Embrace the heat and dust. Nothing is dust proof. Everything is 100 degrees. Don’t bring anything to the desert you don’t want to get destroyed by the dust. Your tent is going to be a million degrees by 9 AM. Dust will be in your eyes and ears and hair. There are a million different projects worthy of your time and effort- avoiding heat/dust is not one them.
-
Another question I hear often has to do with a newbie’s desire to plan specifics for hypotheticals.
For example: “I heard it’s going to be super dusty out there, if we have crazy dust storms all week, will my wrap-around sunglasses be ok? Or do I need to buy a pair of ski-goggles?” I hear all sorts of questions about specific shoes or tents or hydroflasks or goggles. Simply put, you cannot prepare for every possible situation. You do not know what the Playa is going to throw at you nor how it’s going to affect you.
My first year I brought some ski-goggles, some very nice hiking boots, and a proper dust mask. I have never needed or used any of those things. I have never worn goggles on Playa nor needed special shoe/sock protocol to avoid the dreaded “Playa-foot”. Every year since, I just wear normal sunglasses and a beat up pair of old vans sneakers, no socks. HOWEVER, there are countless burn-vets who would disagree. Every burner has a story of how the playa rocked them. Maybe they couldn’t sleep until they got earplugs, or the Playa destroyed their skin so they came with a better facial moisturizer the next year.
There are an endless list of problems your body can have on Playa. Sleep, skin, eyes, hair, stomach can all pose difficulties. BUT, not all of those things are going to happen to you. One. Maybe two. And while you may not know what those are yet because you don’t know how the Playa is going to affect your body, you do know your body. Don’t waste your time preparing for every possible Playa-disaster you’re first year. You can’t know exactly what you need yet. A water bottle, some eye covering, and a scarf to use as a dust mask are all safe bets your first year, but you can get them cheap AF. The Playa is almost certainly going to throw you some curveballs. But, if you’re in a loving camp, the vets can help you deal with the unexpected your first year and you can come back prepared for you-specific-issues in year number 2. Bottom line: Its hot, dry, and dusty. Prepare for what your body will need in those conditions. -
Mental/Emotional Preparedness. We have talked a lot about physical preparedness. Things you need or don’t need. Most new burners don’t know how to get emotionally and mentally prepared. Are you ready to lose your friends and wander around the desert alone and fucked up? Do you maybe need headphones to listen to non-house music in your tent? What do you do to unwind and de-stress? The burn is a crazy incubator for self-work and emotional heavy lifting. However, that often results in you getting your ass absolutely handed to you. You may feel lost or overwhelmed or exploding with emotion. Before you get your feet on dust you better make your peace with that. Have a plan in place in case it all just becomes too much. Have a buddy to take a walk with, a plan to hit a yoga sesh, make yourself some tea, meditate, or pop a fucking Xanax. I don’t know what works for you, but you should absolutely know what works for you before you get there.
-
Practice this phrase and use it often “Can I help you?”
Nobody is expecting too much out of you, young burner. You aren’t building shit and there is probably not a ton being asked of you just to make sure you are prepared for year 1. But if you see somebody pitching a tent, offer to help. Clean up the kitchen as somebody cooks for the camp. Help somebody carry some shit. There are always a million things on the to-do list and a small percentage of people working hard to finish all of them. Help them out. Be a participant, not a tourist. That’s where the real bonds of Burning Man are formed: in the trenches, pounding rebar with a guy in tighty whities and a poncho who was, up until a moment ago - a complete stranger. -
Take care of yourself. It is easy to get caught up in the party that does not stop for 7 days. Make sure you take a morning to get ice in your cooler. It’s ok and important that you go to sleep at some point, even if all your besties are raging. You will need to eat, sleep, maybe shower (vet move: don’t shower), fill your cooler, take some time for yourself, charge your Juul, and get your living/tent space in order. To do this, you will need to extract yourself from the non-stop awesomeness. There will be down time when your are just hanging around camp, and its important to use that time to prepare yourself for a full week of fun. It is a marathon not a sprint.
-
Repeat: It is a marathon not a sprint. It is very easy to blow your serotonin-load on Monday or Tuesday. Pace yourself.
-
Make sure you light-up at night. Somehow a lot of first-timers miss this memo. Being visible at night is a safety issue, not a fashion choice. You and your bike need to light up. No single use glow sticks. You can get battery powered lights on the cheap. Bring extra lights because you might run out, they are easy to share, and they won’t go bad if you need them next year. Even something as simple as a headlight can keep for visible in the depths of deep Playa.
-
There are, without a doubt, undercover cops at Burning Man. Don’t bring anyone back to camp who is trying to score. And for christ sake, don’t go asking strangers where to buy some for yourself. This is the big leagues after all. Come prepared with your own drugs and do them with some goddamn discretion. Burners would give you the shirt off their back and the last beer from their cooler. However, ask for a keybump and see how many “hmmms” and involved rationing breakdowns you get. But it makes sense. People bring enough goodies for themselves, and new goodies are hard to get on Playa. Make arrangements and don’t be a mooch.
-
It is said that the Playa brings out the best in people, but it is also true that it can bring out the worst.
Sometimes, this oscillation happens alarmingly quickly. Part of being a freak is freaking out. It’s cool. It happens. It is a part of Playa life. You will be tired and hungry and dehydrated. You will be running on Turkish Coffee, 2 hours sleep, and a handful of trail mix. It is very likely that either you or someone in the squad is going to need to be taken care of at some point. Look out for yourself and for each other. Take care of yourself and others. Make sure everyone is drinking enough water. Make sure everyone is applying sunscreen and chapstick. I really like having my backpack stocked with these essentials, and I highly encourage you to do the same. -
Every rookie thinks Burning Man operates on a barter system. Like, “I’ll give you 2 necklaces for a taco.” This is NOT the case. Gifting (not expecting anything in return) is very different from bartering. You don’t need to bring tradeable trinkets. But, I think most rookies get the idea of “gifting” wrong too. You don’t need to make 1,000 bead bracelets and give one to everyone you meet. Just think of a simple way to give back. Maybe bring ingredients for dank bloody marys and slang them around camp. Maybe bring a mister fan and some essential oils for a refreshing shareable facewash on the fly. It’s your first year. Nobody is expecting much out of you. By your sophomore year, you will have a million ideas for gifts. So for now, just try to do something nice for the community.
-
Burning Man is a biking community. You NEED a bike. Everyone goes everywhere on a bike and if you are walking you will lose everyone immediately. While a bike is absolutely critical for the burn, there has been a tremendous increase in bikes lost or stolen Playa-wide. We have reached epidemic proportions of bike thirst. Get yourself a cheap combo lock and lock up your bike at all times. Even at camp. Also, it is my opinion that a lot of “stolen” bikes are just misplaced. If you’re thinking to yourself, I’m not going to lose my bike I’m an adult, please look at these images.
Bikes continued: You are going to roll up to party with a sea of bikes out front. Hundreds and hundreds of bikes spanning literal acres. If you go to an event where they are burning something, the bike sea will be even larger. You will be so excited that you will pop off your bike and make a mental note that you parked by that one art car. After hours of partying, you will return to find that the art car has driven away, leaving you rudderless in a sprawling expanse of glowing bicycles. (sidenote: always park by STRUCTURES not ART CARS.) You should deck your bike out to be glowing, obnoxious, unique, and unmissable. Add a tall thing to it. Make it glow. But LOTS of bikes do that and it will still be tough to find YOUR bike, especially if you’re tripping your balls off. Do everything you can to make your bike immediately recognizable.
Here is my truly amazing Burning Man bike hack:
Buy a wireless doorbell. Key word being wireless. Put the part that makes noise in your bike basket or attach it to your frame. Keep the button part on your person or in your backpack. When you are desperately looking for your bike, press the button and listen for the sound and follow it. You’re welcome. -
Communication on Playa is a comedy of errors. You will want to make plans with everyone. You might say “Let’s meet by that lighty towery thing at sunset!” But you won’t. They won’t either. Seriously. The entire Playa is one giant distraction minefield. Nobody will know the time. When somebody asks for the time, I tell them day, night, or something in between. Your plans will fall through. A basic rule is once someone is out of sight, you will never see them again. Also worth noting, though slightly off topic, don’t wait for people at camp. It’s like herding cats. Trying to get a squad of more than 4 to leave camp together is painful. God forbid you try going anywhere in a squad of double digits. If you want to bust a mish, find one or two people who are ready to roll and take the plunge.
-
There is far too much to do and see at Burning Man. You might take in a tenth of it. More likely you will take in 1/100th of it. The FOMO is very real, but sometimes you gotta make due. When you walk in, you will be handed a guide book with 2000 events throughout the week. Maybe you did some research and found out that DJ you like is playing by that thing you saw on your way in. I would encourage you not to fixate on chasing these things. There is nothing worse than the Burning Man tourist with a long itinerary of daily plans. By all means, go to a workshop or event. Go see that DJ. A lot of dope shit is happening out there. But don’t plan this days ahead of time with no flexibility. A “Thursday Body-Talk Healing Workshop” might sound great on Tuesday. But come Thursday, when you’re hammered drunk on an art car in a tutu, please don’t feel the need to drop everything and book it over to the other side of the Playa.
My favorite days are the uncurated ones- the days when the next step on the path only becomes illuminated when it’s right in front of you. Say yes to every sidequest and misadventure. Let the magic of the Burn light your path. Don’t stress. Let the Playa do its thang and you do yours. My only endorsement is to make as many sunrises and sunsets as possible. They are truly magical and the only thing I’ve ever regretted missing. -
Be nice to your camp leads. They work hard for your carnal, hedonistic burn pleasure. Give them back rubs, offer them the first piece of bacon. In general, make their lives easier, not harder.
Clothing
Obviously, Burning Man is a time to bring your fucking A-game in the clothing department. However, unless you are some ungodly talented theatrical costume creator, your costume game will be underwhelming year numero uno. It’s OK, it’s just that you are surrounded by the MVPs of over-the-top-outfits. I’d say develop your own PlayaStyle, and rock what you find silly, comfortable, or fun. I can’t tell you what your PlayaStyle should look like. So, rather than telling you what to bring, or how to dress, I’m just going to share some things I’ve learned over the years.
During the day - lightweight clothing and vests and scarves/sarongs/fabrics/and maybe a sun hat. That’s it. Truthfully, it's a hundred degrees out and duststorming, think functionality...nobody will look down on you for not rocking a full rhinestone latex rockstar attire. Night Time - You need to be warm and comfortable and you will need to light up. This is more about safety then fashion. El Wire or cheap battery lights work great. Instead of transferring lights to each outfit, have a hat or backpack that you wear EVERY NIGHT that has lights permanently affixed to it. There will be times when you are in a hurry to get out of camp, and you will not have time to light a whole outfit, so just have one thing lit and ready to go.
I’ve also found that there are chilly times (night), and very hot times (day) but not a lot of in between. I have historically brought a lot of fur vests and suit coats, but they don’t get a lot of play. Like, it’s too hot for a suit coat during the day, but too cold for just a suit coat at night. Twilight is short-lived and not worthy of a full outfit change. In addition, rather than trying to plan out 7 fuego outfits, pick one or two statement pieces that you can recycle basically every night. A light up hat and a fur jacket work great. My first couple years I fought the need for a giant fur coat. “How basic.” I thought, “EVERYBODY rocks a giant fur coat.” But the fur coat has become synonymous with the burn for a reason. You can wear it every night. Its warm. And if you get one with some sway its really fun to dance in. You can string some El-Wire up to it with safety pins and just wear it wherever you go and be ready to light up. Simple. Besides that, do your thing. Be ready to be comfortable and warm and light up and from there buy a couple of ostentatious-ass staples and accessories.
Food
Nobody has ever starved to death on Playa. I run on coconut water, cheap beer, and tuna wraps. But I bring enough food for a family of 6 every year. Why? Well first off, I don’t want to be the first person to starve to death on Playa. Also, you don't want to RELY on any one for food… nobody likes a sparkle pony. But seriously, every year I bring back pounds of dusty rice, a case of canned soup, and breakfast bars. Food is everywhere (especially at our camp.) Bring a couple of easy meals and some zero-prep snacks. You’ll rarely feel like cooking a full meal in 100 degree duststorms.
Pre-prepare everything you can at home and bring enough food not to die and maybe a luxury meal or two and you’ll be fine. I recommend trail mix, jerky, pre-prepared pasta salad, canned tuna, and lots and lots of fresh and easy veggies and hummus. Bacon is always a big hit too. (Some suggest cooking your bacon at home first where it is easier to take care of the grease, then reheat it on Playa. Packing out grease can get risky! Either that, or bring the pre-cooked kind. Bigger plus to that kind? Some of it doesn’t even need to be kept cold! This sounds like a goddamn bacon-travesty to me, but I’ve never done it.)
Planning 7 days of meals is exhausting if you’re not a professional caterer, so maybe plan one big meal to cook everyone and then take advantage of your camp’s meal schedule. Vet move- if someone in your squad is coming in late, have them bring some fresh veggies with them (particularly if you’re there for Early Entry.) Nobody wants an avocado from last week on burn night. I think a squad mentality is better when planning meals if you have a group of campmates you can coordinate with.
Sleeping
Whatever tent of structure you’re sleeping in. I think air mattresses are a complete waste of time, the rapid temperature change deflates them at a rapid rate. I love this mattress if off-season storage and transport isn’t an issue for you. A nice camping pad is also a good call, as the playa is already a pretty level sleeping surface. Make sure you have a good pillow and sleeping bag or blankets.
Essentials (as in, don’t fucking come without this shit)
Sunscreen, Sunglasses, Scarves/Sarong, ChapStick, 1 Million Juul Pods, Water Bottle or 2, Backpack, Baby Powder, Baby Wipes for “Showering” (I cannot think of a single product I endorse on Playa more than these mother fuckers. Seriously, a refreshing game changer.) Extra contacts or glasses, Camping Mug w/ Carabiner, your ticket, your vehicle pass, your ID, a copy of your ID, another copy of your ID taped to aforementioned mug, reusable plate/mug/utensil, rebar or lag screws if you’re putting up a structure, pool noodles to cover up stakes or guy-lines, a well-lit bike, toiletries, single ply toilet paper, enough food and water (2 gallons a day) to not die. (Other burners reports goggles are a must for contact lens wearers. Have two, one tinted for day and one clear for night.)
Things that are nice
Saline Spray, Headlamp or 2 (might put this under essentials), Extra batteries for everything, Extra Tube for Bike, Compression towel for more legit clean feeling, Gatorade powder or some other means of establishing electrolytes quickly, Vitamins, Trip Toys, BIODEGRADABLE Shower Stuff (I’ve never showered on playa, and never will… but it seems important to some people.) Small battery operated lantern , spray fan mister, goggles, these little flashlight glowstick necklaces are super nice and I order like a dozen of them, a notebook and folder for all the stickers and shit you’ll be handed, and I really like a necklace like this to hold my ID.
I like to keep a backpack with lights on it, stocked with essentials at all times. That way you can just grab it and go. - water bottle, lighter, ID, cup, chapstick, moop bag, those grapefruit facial wipes, hand sanitizer, extra lights in case you end up staying out past sundown, and sunglasses in case you stay out until morning. That should do it.
You are going to be fine. More than fine. You are going to have an amazing time. So just take it in stride and enjoy the ride. Preparing yourself for success beforehand can ensure that your burn is amazing and that hiccups are limited. Don’t overthink it. That’s what year 2 is for.
Hope you found this helpful! Feel free to send me any feedback or add comments or questions!
See You Fools In The Dust,
mAJor Abes
Camp Lead @ Kashyyyk
Information for Virgin Burners https://docs.google.com/document/d/1C4Ftr9X7b0pP9nz5GSGf2Yjp2dRPVRxSg1RwbZT24k4/edit