MatthewMalone-mod-0-GearUp.md

Mod 0 Gear Up

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Day One

Q: What role does empathy play in your life, and how has it helped you?
A: I was never taught empathy. Instead, I grew up having to use it to navigate an abusive household. My ability to read, understand emotions is now at a level that I can use the most subtle verbal and physical cues a person is giving off to persue questions that will allow them, if they so choose, to share what is going on. Just the act of creating a space for others to share is remarkable in itself. Empathy starts before someone shares what is going on with them. This has helped me create spaces for others to be vulnerable and work through whatever it is that is going on.
Q: How does empathy help you build better software?
A: This allows us to understand and seek out what a user needs as opposed to us knowing what a user of the software needs. Creating software where we take in how people feel and react when interacting with it will allow me to create a positive experience. Software has this inherent ability to separate people, where people no longer connect, empathy doesn't exist. Now I know that this is something I will have to deal with when I make software, create and humanize things so that empathy is shown to the user and can be engaged with on their end.
Q: Why is empathy important for working on a team?
A: Team dynamics are fascinating, I think now even more so than before. Growing up in our family units, we all played a role, and if in an unhealthy family, we continue to play that same role with the ill effects it has, no fault of the person. So as we are in groups, it is important to understand we all have a different past which has affected us. I believe that we all want to do our best, open communication, connection, and inclusion are vital to the success of the team and the healthy relationships that make up a team.
Q: Describe a situation in which your ability to empathize with a colleague or teammate was helpful.
A: Every day this is crucial. I had an employee whose demeanor changed considerably over a week. They went from being bubbly and a significant presence, to quite and meek. My team is 150, and I have to be conscious of making time to connect with each of them. On our connection, I asked the normal how are you questions, and when those came out as, "fine" I knew I had to offer more for this person to open up. So I offered a hug, and as soon as we hugged, they broke down and told me everything that was going on. Physical touch is a powerful way to allow empathy to come across.
Q: When do you find it most difficult to be empathetic in professional settings?
A: When I get tired. The less energy I have, the far less effective I become, it's not quite hangry, but much slower with no patience, so maybe it is like hangry. This can happen when I have to explain the same thing over and over to the same person who is not getting it, instead of asking how I can explain better, at the moment I am blaming the person I am telling it to.
Q: How can you improve your skills when faced with these scenarios?
A: I thought empathic concern was a very cool topic, where we can understand a person's predicament and feel with them but can be spontaneously moved to help if needed. I feel a lot of what other people feel, and the response of what they want/need (assuming it is a healthy one) can be just sitting there listening or helping them along the process.