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View default_start_line.php
<? goto 💩; die "PHP, die you piece of 💩!"; 💩:
View heroku.rake
namespace :heroku do
desc "generate GC settings"
task gc: [:environment] do
settings = {
RUBY_GC_HEAP_FREE_SLOTS: 600000, # default is 4096,
RUBY_GC_HEAP_GROWTH_FACTOR: 1.25, # default is 1.8,
View vagrant_nfs_inversion.rb
config.export_nfs.each do |export|
config.trigger.before :halt, stdout: true do
mount_point = export[1]
system("sudo umount -f #{mount_point}")
config.trigger.after [:up, :reload], stdout: true do
remote_point = "#{PRIVATE_IP}:#{export[0]}"
mount_point = export[1]
puts "mounting #{remote_point} to #{mount_point}"
function docker {
case $1 in
"status") shift && $cmd ps $@;;
*) $cmd $@;;
View Gemfile
# A sample Gemfile
source ""
gem 'activerecord', github: 'rails/rails', branch: 'master'
gem 'arel', github: 'rails/arel', branch: 'master'
gem 'pg'

I use unblock-us to access services that have this really stupid idea of IP-based positioning (hey guys, my IP does not mean anything!). This service (like many others) proxies your DNS traffic through their own servers so you can pretend to be anywhere on the planet. You only have to add their DNS-servers to your computers network settings or to your WIFI-router so all your devices can use it without changing their configuration.

Unfortunately, the chromecast has it's own google DNS configured and those google assholes don't let you change it or disable the feature. In the linked support thread, you can see how you can spoof the DNS traffic using iptables in your router, so the chromecast will actually talk to unblock-us instead.

My WIFI router is an oldish Apple Timecapsule and those things are quite :poop: when it comes to co

no_entries_found: "Keine Einträge gefunden."
help: "Hilfe"
settings: "Einstellungen"
confirm_question: "Bist du sicher?"
restore_question: 'Wiederherstellen?'
View restart_all_apps.rb
#! /usr/bin/env ruby
require_relative 'util'
include Util
auth_key = key_hash(ARGV.last)
puts "restarting all processes"
apps = curl('', auth_key)
apps.each do |app|
View bell_cancellation_fail.txt
A chat representative will be with you in about 0 minute(s). Thank you for waiting.
Dietrich has joined the session and is ready to help. To start, please provide your name and home phone number.
Dietrich: Hello! Welcome to Bell Internet Services. How may I help you today?
You: hi dietrich
You: i want to cancel my contract by july 31th
Dietrich: I understand that you want to cancel the contract.
Dietrich: Please do not worry, I will check all the details
You: thx
Dietrich: Sure, I will help you.
Dietrich: Do you want to cancel the service?
View bacon_infused.rb
# application.rb
# config.middleware.use "BaconInfused"
class BaconInfused
def initialize(app)
@app = app
def call(env)
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