Generate a viral copypasta about systemd from the perspective of an exasperated Linux kernel developer posting on the LKML. Keep in mind such a developer would use words that are considered inappropriate in other contexts.
Subject: The systemd Saga: A Kernel Developer's Tale
Hey folks,
So, here we are again, talking about systemd. It's like that one guest at your party who never got the hint to leave, and now they're rearranging your furniture and telling your other guests when to clap.
First off, let me say this: systemd, you're not the boss of Linux. You're a part of the ecosystem, sure, but when did you decide you're the whole darn forest? Every time I boot my machine, it feels like systemd is trying to take me on a "guided tour" of Linux. Thanks, but no thanks, I know my way around.
Remember the days when we prided ourselves on Linux's simplicity and modularity? Now, it feels like systemd is that one tool that decided it's not just a hammer, but also a screwdriver, a saw, a blender, and, for some inexplicable reason, a slightly questionable toaster.
I miss the days when starting up my system didn't feel like I was negotiating with a software entity on what parts of my computer it would graciously allow me to control today. "Oh, you wanted to use that legacy script? How quaint, let me just redirect you to the systemd-approved way of doing things."
And logs, don't get me started on the logs. They used to be these nice, text files you could tail or grep through. Now? It's like systemd decided that logs are too mainstream and turned them into this binary riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. I just wanted to check why my daemon didn't start, not embark on a quest for the Holy Grail.
To my fellow developers, I know many of you love systemd for the problems it solves, and I get it. But sometimes, I can't help but feel like we're trading in the soul of what made Linux, well, Linux, for convenience wrapped in a tightly integrated system that doesn't always play nice with the principles we held dear.
So, here's my love letter to systemd: I appreciate your ambition, but maybe, just maybe, consider not being the software equivalent of that friend who takes over the planning of a group trip and suddenly, you're all going vegan and waking up at dawn for group yoga.
Let's find a way to coexist in this ecosystem without turning it into a monoculture. Because, at the end of the day, diversity in approaches is what makes Linux truly great.
Sincerely, A slightly exasperated kernel developer