Alien Sandwiches

1.In front of you you will see five objects. They are as follows:
  a. a flat, circular object. This is the “plate.”
  b. a hard cylindrical object with a light brown inner substance. This is a “jar”.
  c. another hard cylindrical object with a red (possibly purple-y!) inner substance. This is another “jar.” 
  d. a squishy, oblong object. This is the “bread.”
  e. a flat, thin, relatively pointy (and possibly shiny) object. This is the “knife.”
2. The bread may be covered with a thin, transparent substance. If this is the case, you must undo this wrapping to access the bread. If not, proceed to step 3.
3. The bread should be divided into individual portions called “slices.” Remove two slices and place them adjacent to each other, flat on the plate.
4. Open one jar by applying a counterclockwise twisting motion to the very top. 
5. You may need to remove a seal to access the jar’s inner substance. If present, remove, otherwise proceed to step 6.
6. Grasping the knife with your appendage, dip it into the inner substance. This works best if you dip the thinner, more tapered end of the knife into the substance.
7. Scoop out the knife, removing ~2 tablespoons of the inner substance.
8. Take the knife, and with it parallel to the table, transfer as much of the substance now on the knife as you can onto one slice of bread. 
9. Repeat steps 4-8 with the remaining jar and the remaining (unadorned) slice of bread.
10. Take the slices of bread and bring them together in such a way that the two substance-laden sides touch, leaving you with one unified object, with clean, substance-free sides facing outwards on each side.