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I guess font support is what matters, not OS, so I combined all the horizontal ones regardless of whether they work everywhere. Paste at your own risk!

Assimilate these:

ּ_בּ
בּ_בּ
טּ_טּ
כּ‗כּ
לּ_לּ
מּ_מּ
סּ_סּ
תּ_תּ
٩(×̯×)۶
٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶
٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶
בּ_בּ
טּ_טּ
לּ_לּ
מּ_מּ
סּ_סּ
תּ_תּ
¢‿¢
©¿© o
ª{•̃̾_•̃̾}ª
¬_¬
¯\(º_o)/¯
¯\(º o)/¯
¯\_(⊙︿⊙)_/¯
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
°ω°
°Д°
°‿‿°
°ﺑ°
´ ▽ ` )ノ
¿ⓧ_ⓧﮌ
Ò,ó
ó‿ó
ô⌐ô
ôヮô
ŎםŎ
ŏﺡó
ʕ•̫͡•ʔ
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
ʘ‿ʘ
˚•_•˚
˚⌇˚
˚▱˚
̿ ̿̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\=(•̪●)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿
͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
Σ ◕ ◡ ◕
Σ (゚Д゚;) surprised
Σ(゚Д゚;≡;゚д゚) confusion
Σ(゚Д゚ )
Σ(||゚Д゚) scary
Φ,Φ
δﺡό
σ_σ
д_д
ф_ф
щ(゚Д゚щ) < "Dear god why‽ )
щ(ಠ益ಠщ)
щ(ಥДಥщ)
Ծ_Ծ
أ‿أ
ب_ب
ح˚௰˚づ
ح˚ᆺ˚ว
حᇂﮌᇂ)
٩๏̯͡๏۶
٩๏̯͡๏)۶
٩◔̯◔۶
٩(×̯×)۶
٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶
٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶
٩(͡๏̯ ͡๏)۶
٩(ಥ_ಥ)۶
٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶
٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶
٩(●̮̮̃●̃)۶
٩(。͡•‿•。)۶
٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶
۞_۞
۞_۟۞
۹ↁﮌↁ
۹⌤_⌤۹
॓_॔
१✌◡✌५
१|˚–˚|५
ਉ_ਉ
ଘ_ଘ
இ_இ
ఠ_ఠ
రృర
ಠ¿ಠi
ಠ‿ಠ
ಠ⌣ಠ
ಠ╭╮ಠ
ಠ▃ಠ
ಠ◡ಠ
ಠ益ಠ
ಠ益ಠ
ಠ︵ಠ凸
ಠ , ಥ
ಠ.ಠ
ಠoಠ
ಠ_ృ
ಠ_ಠ
ಠ_๏
ಠ~ಠ
ಡ_ಡ
ತಎತ
ತ_ತ
ಥдಥ
ಥ‿ಥ
ಥ⌣ಥ
ಥ◡ಥ
ಥ﹏ಥ
ಥ_ಥ <So... Beautiful!
ಭ_ಭ
ರ_ರ
ಸ , ໖
ಸ_ಸ
ക_ക
อ้_อ้
อ_อ
โ๏௰๏ใ ื
๏̯͡๏﴿
๏̯͡๏
๏̯͡๏﴿
๏[-ิิ_•ิ]๏
๏_๏
໖_໖
༺‿༻
ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) y u no guy
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
ლ(◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)
ლ,ᔑ•ﺪ͟͠•ᔐ.ლ
ᄽὁȍ ̪ őὀᄿ
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ ← baby seal
‘︿’
•▱•
•✞_✞•
•ﺑ•
•(⌚_⌚)•
•_•)
‷̗ↂ凸ↂ‴̖
‹•.•›
‹› ‹(•¿•)› ‹›
‹(ᵒᴥᵒ­­­­­)›
‹(•¿•)›
ↁ_ↁ
⇎_⇎
∩(︶▽︶)∩
∩( ・ω・)∩ happy dog
≖‿≖
≧ヮ≦
⊂•⊃_⊂•⊃
⊂⌒~⊃。Д。)⊃
⊂(◉‿◉)つ
⊂(゚Д゚,,⊂⌒`つ
⊙ω⊙
⊙▂⊙
⊙▃⊙
⊙△⊙
⊙︿⊙
⊙﹏⊙
⊙0⊙
⊛ठ̯⊛
⋋ō_ō`
━━━ヽ(ヽ(゚ヽ(゚∀ヽ(゚∀゚ヽ(゚∀゚)ノ゚∀゚)ノ∀゚)ノ゚)ノ)ノ━━━
┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘
┌( ಥ_ಥ)┘
╚(•⌂•)╝
╭╮╭╮☜{•̃̾_•̃̾}☞╭╮╭╮
╭✬⌢✬╮
╮(─▽─)╭
╯‵Д′)╯彡┻━┻ angry guy flipping a table
╰☆╮
□_□
►_◄
◃┆◉◡◉┆▷
◉△◉
◉︵◉
◉_◉
○_○
●¿●\ ~
●_●
◔̯◔
◔ᴗ◔
◔ ⌣ ◔
◔_◔
◕ω◕
◕‿◕
◕◡◕
◕ ◡ ◕
◖♪_♪|◗
◖|◔◡◉|◗ <Huuuuur
◘_◘
◙‿◙
◜㍕◝
◪_◪
◮_◮
☁ ☝ˆ~ˆ☂
☆¸☆
☉‿⊙
☉_☉
☐_☐
☜ق❂Ⴢ❂ق☞
☜(⌒▽⌒)☞
☜(゚ヮ゚☜)
☜-(ΘLΘ)-☞
☝☞✌
☮▁▂▃▄☾ ♛ ◡ ♛ ☽▄▃▂▁☮
☹_☹
☻_☻
☼.☼
☾˙❀‿❀˙☽
♀ح♀ヾ
♥‿♥
♥╣[-_-]╠♥
♥╭╮♥
♥◡♥
✌♫♪˙❤‿❤˙♫♪✌
✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌
✌.|•͡˘‿•͡˘|.✌
✖‿✖
✖_✖
❐‿❑
⨀_⨀
⨀_Ꙩ
⨂_⨂
〆(・∀・@)
《〠_〠》
【•】_【•】
〠_〠
〴⋋_⋌〵
のヮの
ニガー? ━━━━━━(゚∀゚)━━━━━━ ニガー?
ペ㍕˚\
ヽ(´ー` )ノ
ヽ(๏∀๏ )ノ
ヽ(`Д´)ノ
ヽ(o`皿′o)ノ
ヽ(`Д´)ノ
ㅎ_ㅎ
乂◜◬◝乂
凸ಠ益ಠ)凸
句_句
Ꙩ⌵Ꙩ
Ꙩ_Ꙩ
ꙩ_ꙩ
Ꙫ_Ꙫ
ꙫ_ꙫ
ꙮ_ꙮ
흫_흫
句_句
﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ O'RLY?
¯\(ºдಠ)/¯
(·×·)
(⌒Д⌒)
(╹ェ╹)
(♯・∀・)⊃
( ´∀`)☆
( ´∀`)
(゜Д゜)
(・∀・) "well" or "good"
(・A・) "bad" or "not good"
(゚∀゚)
( ̄へ ̄)
( ´☣///_ゝ///☣`)
( つ Д `)
_☆( ´_⊃`)☆_
。◕‿‿◕。
。◕ ‿ ◕。
!⑈ˆ~ˆ!⑈
!(`・ω・。)
(¬‿¬)
(¬▂¬)
(¬_¬)
(°ℇ °)
(°∀°)
(´ω`)
(´◉◞౪◟◉)
(´ヘ`;)
(´・ω・`)
(´ー`)
(ʘ‿ʘ)
(ʘ_ʘ)
(˚இ˚)
(͡๏̯͡๏)
(ΘεΘ;)
(ι´Д`)ノ
(Ծ‸ Ծ)
(॓_॔)
(० ्०)
(ு८ு_ .:)
(ಠ‾ಠ)
(ಠ‿ʘ)
(ಠ‿ಠ)
(ಠ⌣ಠ)
(ಠ益ಠ ╬)
(ಠ益ಠ)
(ಠ_ృ)
(ಠ_ಠ)
(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ಥ_ಥ)
(๏̯͡๏ )
(ღ˘⌣˘ღ) ♫・*:.。. .。.:*・ happy with music
(ღ˘⌣˘ღ) - no thx
(ᵔᴥᵔ)
(•ω•)
(•‿•)
(•⊙ω⊙•)
(• ε •)
(∩▂∩)
(∩︵∩)
(∪ ◡ ∪)
(≧ω≦)
(≧◡≦)
(≧ロ≦)
(⊙ヮ⊙)
(⊙_◎)
(⋋▂⋌)
(⌐■_■)
(─‿‿─)
(┛◉Д◉)┛┻━┻
(╥_╥)
(╬ಠ益ಠ)
(╬◣д◢)
(╬ ಠ益ಠ)
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ table flip
(╯ಊ╰)
(╯◕_◕)╯
(╯︵╰,)
(╯3╰)
(╯_╰)
(╹◡╹)凸
(▰˘◡˘▰)
(●´ω`●)
(●´∀`●) relieved happy
(◑‿◐)
(◑◡◑)
(◕‿◕✿) cute happy
(◕‿◕)
(◕‿-)
(◕︵◕)
(◕ ^ ◕)
(◕_◕)
(◜௰◝)
(◡‿◡✿)
(◣_◢)
(☞゚∀゚)☞
(☞゚ヮ゚)☞
(☞゚ ∀゚ )☞
(☼◡☼)
(☼_☼)
(✌゚∀゚)☞
(✖╭╮✖)
(✪㉨✪)
(✿◠‿◠)
(✿ ♥‿♥)
( ・∀・)
( ・ัω・ั)?
( ゚∀゚)o彡゜えーりんえーりん!!
(。・_・。)
(つд`)
(づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ table flip
(ノ ◑‿◑)ノ
(ノ_・。)
(・∀・ )
(屮゚Д゚)屮 "Come on" or "Come here"
(︶ω︶)
(︶︹︺)
(ﺧ益ﺨ)
(;一_一)
(`・ω・´)” innocent happy
(。◕‿‿◕。)
(。◕‿◕。)
(。◕ ‿ ◕。)
(。♥‿♥。)
(。・ω..・)っ
(・ェ-)
(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
(゚Д゚) "heh?" or "what are you saying?" or "surprised"
(゚Д゚)y─┛~~ smoking
(゚∀゚)
(゚ヮ゚)
( ̄□ ̄)
( ̄。 ̄)
( ̄ー ̄)
( ̄(エ) ̄)
( °٢° )
( ´_ゝ`)
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
( ಠ◡ಠ )
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(  ゚,_ゝ゚)
( ・ิз・ิ)
( ゚д゚)、 vomits saliva
( ^▽^)σ)~O~)
((((゜д゜;))))
(*´д`*)
(*..Д`)
(*..д`*)
(*~▽~)
(-’๏_๏’-)
(-_- )ノ
(/◔ ◡ ◔)/
(///_ಥ)
(;´Д`)
(=ω=;)
(=゜ω゜)
(>'o')> ♥ <('o'<)
(n˘v˘•)¬
(o´ω`o)
(V)(°,,°)(V)
(\/) (°,,°) (\/) WOOPwoopwowopwoopwoopwoop!
(^▽^)
(`・ω・´) <-- Pedobear?
(~ ̄▽ ̄)~
/╲/\╭ºoꍘoº╮/\╱\
<【☯】‿【☯】>
=(゚д゚)ウ
@_@
d(*⌒▽⌒*)b
o(≧∀≦)o
o(≧o≦)o
q(❂‿❂)p
y=ー( ゚д゚)・∵. shot my head
\˚ㄥ˚\
\ᇂ_ᇂ\
\(ಠ ὡ ಠ )/
\(◕ ◡ ◕\)
^̮^
^ㅂ^
_(͡๏̯͡๏)_
{´◕ ◡ ◕`}
{ಠ_ಠ}__,,|,
{◕ ◡ ◕}
 /◝o
(¤_¤)
.[__].
█▄▄ ███ █▄▄ █▄█▄█ █▄█ ▀█▀
┌─┐
┴─┴
ಠ_ರೃ
┌─┐
'-┴^┴-'
ಠ_ಠ
◑ ◔
╔═╗
║▓▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
╚═╝
IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER!
╔╗
ô╝
|
^
I ♥ you
._ o o
\_`-)|_
,"" \
," ## | ಠ ಠ.
," ## ,-\__ `.
," / `--._;)
," ## /
," ## /
._ ┌─┐
\_`-┴─┴
/'-./\_ ,"" \
: ||,> ," ## | ॓ ॔.
\.-'|| ," ## ,-\__ `. AND MY AXE!
|| ," / `--._;) _____/
|| ," ## / ; ;
ε||3 ," ## /
("\ '' /").___..--' ' "`-._
`ಠ_ ಠ ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)
(_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-'
_..`--'_. .-_/ /--'_.' .'
(i l).-' ' ((i). ' ((!.-'
.'"'. ___,,,___ .'``.
: (\ `."'"``` ```"'"-' /) ;
: \ `./ .'
`. :.'
/ __) __) \
| (●) (●) |
| / \ |
| / \ |
\ | .-. | /
`. | . . / \ . . | .'
`-._\.'.( ).'./_.-'
`\' `._.' '/'
`. --'-- .'
`-...-'
_ (o\-~-/o) _
(o\ ( ಠ ಠ ) /o)
\ \( (Y) )/ /
\ ) ( /
/ \
_____ / )_( \ ____
=_==( (===) )=_=
| \ ) ( / |
\|vVv(__/,v#\__)V/|/|..
▄██████████████▄▐█▄▄▄▄█▌
██████▌▄▌▄▐▐▌███▌▀▀██▀▀
████▄█▌▄▌▄▐▐▌▀███▄▄█▌
▄▄▄▄▄██████████████▀
▄▄█▄▄▄█▄▄▄█▄▄▄
▀████████▌▄▌▄▐▐▌█████████▀
▀██████▌▄▌▄▐▐▌▀██████▀
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
nyan cat!
~~~ ╔͎═͓═͙╗
~~~ ̨ͨ╚̨̈́═̈́﴾ ̥̮̂˖̫˖̥̮  ̂ )
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ butterfly
̜ ̳ ̳ ̳ ̳ ͙ ڪ 
̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.
▄︻̷̿┻̿═━一
♡+♡=❤²
✄---------❤
[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]
¦¬)
¦-) as opposed to |-)
¦3
〓D
/:€ <Myth Busted!
:⌉
=⌉
Ӭ
ӭ
ۃ
⍥ om nom nom
〠 smile in hat
And then all the official ones: http://www.alanwood.net/unicode/emoticons.html
😀
😁
😂
😃
😄
😅
😆
😇
😈
😉
😊
😋
😌
😍
😎
😏
😐
😑
😒
😓
😔
😕
😖
😗
😘
😙
😚
😛
😜
😝
😞
😟
😠
😡
😢
😣
😤
😥
😦
😧
😨
😩
😪
😫
😬
😭
😮
😯
😰
😱
😲
😳
😴
😵
😶
😷
😸
😹
😺
😻
😼
😽
😾
😿
🙀
🙅
🙆
🙇
🙈
🙉
🙊
🙋
🙌
🙍
🙎
🙏
༼ つ Ỏ͖͈̞̩͎̻̫̫̜͉̠̫͕̭̭̫̫̹̗̹͈̼̠̖͍͚̥͈̮̼͕̠̤̯̻̥̬̗̼̳̤̳̬̪̹͚̞̼̠͕̼̠̦͚̫͔̯̹͉͉̘͎͕̼̣̝͙̱̟̹̩̟̳̦̭͉̮̖̭̣̣̞̙̗̜̺̭̻̥͚͙̝̦̲̱͉͖͉̰̦͎̫̣̼͎͍̠̮͓̹̹͉̤̰̗̙͕͇͔̱͕̭͈̳̗̭͔̘̖̺̮̜̠͖̘͓̳͕̟̠̱̫̤͓͔̘̰̲͙͍͇̙͎̣̼̗̖͙̯͉̠̟͈͍͕̪͓̝̩̦̖̹̼̠̘̮͚̟͉̺̜͍͓̯̳̱̻͕̣̳͉̻̭̭̱͍̪̩̭̺͕̺̼̥̪͖̦̟͎̻̰_Ỏ͖͈̞̩͎̻̫̫̜͉̠̫͕̭̭̫̫̹̗̹͈̼̠̖͍͚̥͈̮̼͕̠̤̯̻̥̬̗̼̳̤̳̬̪̹͚̞̼̠͕̼̠̦͚̫͔̯̹͉͉̘͎͕̼̣̝͙̱̟̹̩̟̳̦̭͉̮̖̭̣̣̞̙̗̜̺̭̻̥͚͙̝̦̲̱͉͖͉̰̦͎̫̣̼͎͍̠̮͓̹̹͉̤̰̗̙͕͇͔̱͕̭͈̳̗̭͔̘̖̺̮̜̠͖̘͓̳͕̟̠̱̫̤͓͔̘̰̲͙͍͇̙͎̣̼̗̖͙̯͉̠̟͈͍͕̪͓̝̩̦̖̹̼̠̘̮͚̟͉̺̜͍͓̯̳̱̻͕̣̳͉̻̭̭̱͍̪̩̭̺͕̺̼̥̪͖̦̟͎̻̰ ༽つ
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