How girls respond to quesions (in code)

gistfile1.py

# How women respond to questions
print \
"1. How it should look like:"

def ask_a_question(question):
	taste = {
		"apples":True,
		"oranges":False
	}
	if "like" in question:
		item = question[question.find("like") + len('like '):question.find("?")]
		if taste[item]:
			return "- I like " + item + ".\n"
		else:
			return "- No, I don't like " + item + ".\n"

question = "Do you like apples?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)

question = "Do you like oranges?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)


print \
"2. When she likes you:"

def ask_a_question(question):
	# taste = {
	# 	"apples":True,
	# 	"oranges":False
	# }
	# if "like" in question:
	his_taste = {
		"football":True,
		"cars":True,
		"pink color":False,
		"romance":False
	}
	item = question[question.find("like") + len('like '):question.find("?")]
	if item in his_taste:
		if his_taste[item]:
			return "- Yes! I really like " + item +"! :)\n"
		elif not his_taste[item]:
			return "- Naah, " + item + " is like the total shit\n"
	else:
		return "- What do you mean by " + item + "? :)))\n"

question = "Do you like romance?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)

question = "Do you like football?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)

question = "You like Picard?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)


print \
"3. When she doesn't care about you:"
def ask_a_question(question):
	import random
	preset_answers = [
		"I don't know.",
		"Brb.",
		":)",
		"Hehe",
		"Aham."
	]
	return "- " + preset_answers[random.randint(0, len(preset_answers) - 1)] + "\n"

question = "Would you like to go out with me on a very romantic date?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)

question = "I sent you a song two weeks ago, did you like it?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)

question = "Wow, you're incredible. I think I love you! Do you at least like me?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)


print \
"4. When she's ignoring you:"
def ask_a_question(question):
	dev_null = []
	dev_null.append(question)
	return ''

print ask_a_question("You still here?")
print ask_a_question("Hey, you're silent for, like, 2 months. We're okay, right?")


print \
"5. When she thinks you're cheating on her:"
def ask_a_question(question):
	import random
	taste = {
		"apples":True,
		"oranges":False
	}
	girls_he_knows = [
		"Angela",
		"Sandra",
		"Maria"
	]
	i_know_she_has = {
		"Angela": ["lipsticks", "car", "teddybear"],
		"Sandra": ["apartment", "dog"],
		"Maria": ["boyfriend", "laptop", "job"]
	}
	
	item = question[question.find("like") + len('like '):question.find("?")]
	
	mood = ['happy', 'angry'][random.randint(0,1)]

	if mood == 'angry':
		for girl in girls_he_knows:
			if item in i_know_she_has[girl]:
				return "- YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME WITH " + girl.upper() + "!\n"
			else:
				return "- It doesn't matter if I like it... and don't ask me what's wrong.\n"
	elif mood == 'happy' and item in taste:
		if taste[item]:
			return "- Yes hon, I like " + item + ".\n"
		else:
			return "- Hm, I don't know sunshine. :)\n"
	else:
		return "- I don't know really. :)\n"

question = "I want to buy you a present. Do you like lipsticks?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)

question = "I'll make us a fruit salad, do you like oranges?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)


print \
"6. And, finally, when she's PMS-ing:"
def ask_a_question(question):
	import random
	letters = "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz"
	response = ""

	sentance_length = random.randint(3,10)
	for _ in range(sentance_length):
		word = ""
		word_length = random.randint(3,12)
		for _ in range(word_length):
			word += letters[random.randint(0, len(letters) - 1)]
		response += word + " "

	response = "- " + response[0].upper() + response[1:-1] + "!\n"

	# With the small chance...
	chance = random.randint(0,100)
	if chance == 99:
		response = "- I love you honey! Forgive me I acted out like a bitch! ;( *starts crying*"

	return response

question = "Is everything okay?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)

question = "Can you pass me the Coke?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)

question = "Can I kiss you?\n"
print question, ask_a_question(question)

# One version of the responses you can expect to get: 

	# 1. How it should look like:
	# Do you like apples?
	# - I like apples.

	# Do you like oranges?
	# - No, I don't like oranges.

	# 2. When she likes you:
	# Do you like romance?
	# - Naah, romance is like the total shit

	# Do you like football?
	# - Yes! I really like football! :)

	# You like Picard?
	# - What do you mean by Picard? :)))

	# 3. When she doesn't care about you:
	# Would you like to go out with me on a very romantic date?
	# - :)

	# I sent you a song two weeks ago, did you like it?
	# - Hehe

	# Wow, you're incredible. I think I love you! Do you at least like me?
	# - Aham.

	# 4. When she's ignoring you:


	# 5. When she thinks you're cheating on her:
	# I want to buy you a present. Do you like lipsticks?
	# - I don't know really. :)

	# I'll make us a fruit salad, do you like oranges?
	# - It doesn't matter if I like it... and don't ask me what's wrong.

	# 6. And, finally, when she's PMS-ing:
	# Is everything okay?
	# - Aharu fjmdrbnpcyg uak tigfljqrohm jbxe uqoqgho!

	# Can you pass me the Coke?
	# - Ryexczg pavwv pclspjmfyjx vbmi jatq rltgr jjpbvyg npbukxvere qkdypwtoz!

	# Can I kiss you?
	# - Tcxapodwo wqciuwde enhlb vrhmpin uzgs gjbukz unfeto fdwmmsocr!