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<?php
namespace CloudFour\Helpers;
use Timber\Image;
use Timber\ImageHelper;
use Timber\Post;
use Timber\Term;
use Timber\TextHelper;
use Timber\User;
@spaceninja
spaceninja / postmortems.md
Created September 6, 2019 20:28
Postmortem Doc from Cloud Four

Incident Postmortems

Postmortem documents are a ritual designed to examine serious incidents or outages. Google’s book on Site Reliability Engineering says:

A postmortem is a written record of an incident, its impact, the actions taken to mitigate or resolve it, the root cause(s), and the follow-up actions to prevent the incident from recurring.

Purpose

We practice postmortems to ensure we understand and address the root cause of severe incidents such as outages, data loss, or serious production bugs.

@spaceninja
spaceninja / retros.md
Created September 6, 2019 20:24
Retro Doc from Say Media

Project Retrospectives

Retrospectives are an integral part of the “inspect and adapt” process. One of the principles of the Agile Manifesto is:

At regular intervals, the team reflects on how to become more effective, then tunes and adjusts its behavior accordingly.

Purpose

The goal of a retrospective is to review the team's process and discuss whether it needs to be improved. It's about actions and outcomes, not an airing of grievances.

Although a good team will always be looking for improvement opportunities, the team should set aside a brief, dedicated period at the end of each project (or each sprint in a longer project) to deliberately reflect on how they are doing and to find ways to improve.

Hello, I am a bear. :bear:
For those of you wondering: I am a bear. :bear:
Sporadic naps are the best kind of naps. The scheduled ones are never quite as good, but they are still lovely. :bear:
I always try to be a better bear even if it seems impossible :bear:
Having four legs does not make you a bear. Tables have four legs. Tables are not bears. I am a bear. :bear:
I do not think any one of my claws is better than the others. I enjoy them equally. They're all great at tummy scratching. I am a bear. :bear:
Do I do what all bears do? I do not know any other bears, so do I do what comes naturally as a bear or as a particular bear? I am a bear. :bear:
It is okay if you are not a bear. Most things that exist are not bears. More than likely, you are not a bear, and that is okay. I am a bear. :bear:
Am I the same bear to me as I am to others? Can others tell? Maybe I do not know what a bear is. Do others know what a bear is meant to be? :bear:
Bear Advice: Do not eat all the acorns. Save some for later. This has
CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW COOL IT IS THAT NONE OF US ARE WOLVES LIVING ELABORATE LIES :notawolf:
I HATE SHARING HOLIDAYS WITH MY IN LAWS BECAUSE THEY ASK SO MANY QUESTIONS LIKE WHAT IS YOUR JOB WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE MEAT IS THAT BLOOD :notawolf:
I LOOK SO GOOD IN MY NEW SWEATER. NO ONE HAS SAID SO YET. BUT WHY ELSE WOULD EVERYONE AT APPLEBEES BE SCREAMING SO LOUD? UGH CHECK PLEASE :notawolf:
AT WHAT POINT IN THE BURRITO DOES MY UNENDING ANXIETY RECEDE …OR IS THAT NOT WHAT THESE ARE FOR :notawolf:
I ATE SO MUCH MASHED POTATOES THAT I FORGOT TO GO TO THE BANK TRULY THIS IS A DEEPLY RELATABLE PIECE OF HUMAN CONTENT :notawolf:
I LOVE OFFICE CULTURE. WE SHOULD TOUCH BASE. I WILL LOOP YOU IN. LET US CIRCLE BACK. I EAT BONES. SYNERGY. WHAT DID I JUST SAY EVEN :notawolf:
AH YES I HAVE ALL THE MIDDLE AGED HUMAN HEALTH PROBLEMS. TENNIS ELBOW. BUSINESS SHOULDER. THE KINGS SORENESS. BLOOD TEETH. ALSO DEPRESSION :notawolf:
AH YES NEW JOB. NEW CUBE. NEW COWORKERS. NEW DISCRETE CORNER IN WHICH TO MARK MY TERRITORY. OMG FREE
@spaceninja
spaceninja / bird
Last active September 27, 2018 17:43
allow Me to introduce myself. bird. :partyparrot:
april fool im a cat no im not (i a bird) :partyparrot:
are you jelsous that i get to be naket :partyparrot:
BIRD TIME :partyparrot: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDXSkc7UMAEK0pb.jpg
Birdie Sanders want us have the ""health care." i want heaps carbs. i just ate 500 spagotti HELP ABULANCE TUMMY MERGENCY :partyparrot:
Contest: who is best at me? I win. :partyparrot:
dear Mr. Science: If human so "better," how come they can't be bird? oh I'm sorry was that too LOGIC for you???? :partyparrot:
guess what corn today are your unlucky day :partyparrot:
guess who? it me, a bird :partyparrot:
Hello hi. it me, bird! :partyparrot:
@spaceninja
spaceninja / gist:dd054517e26edfce2bc3
Created April 20, 2015 22:41
Ron Swanson Says list
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsvtz33eAh1qkae66o1_500.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpbqpqKUKn1qkae66o1_500.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loym1d4EXl1qkae66o1_500.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnzfw5OAjt1qkae66o1_500.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnmhh0rEvS1qkae66o1_500.jpg
http://36.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnkm72eLCv1qkae66o1_500.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lngwblElt81qkae66o1_500.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnf0r1CtUG1qkae66o1_500.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lna8sqhZSc1qkae66o1_500.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ln8vjb7I7L1qkae66o1_500.jpg