Trolling #haskell

trolling_haskell

13:15 <xQuasar>      | HASKELL IS FOR FUCKIN FAGGOTS. YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF 
                     | FUCKIN PUSSIES
13:15 <xQuasar>      | JAVASCRIPT FOR LIFE FAGS
13:16 <luite>        | hello
13:16 <ChongLi>      | somebody has a mental illness!
13:16 <merijn>       | Wow...I suddenly see the error of my ways and feel 
                     | compelled to write Node.js!
13:16 <genisage>     | hi
13:16 <luite>        | you might be pleased to learn that you can compile 
                     | haskell to javascript now
13:17 <sipa>         | @where ops
13:17 <lambdabot>    | arjanb bos Cale conal copumpkin dcoutts dibblego dons 
                     | edwardk glguy Heffalump Igloo jmcarthur johnw kosmikus 
                     | Lemmih monochrom Philippa Pseudonym quicksilver roconnor 
                     | Saizan shapr sjanssen ski wli
13:17 <lambdabot>    | xerox
13:18 <xQuasar>      | FUCK YOU AND YOUR HUSSY OPS
13:18 <xQuasar>      | THEY CAN'T DO SHIT TO ME CUNTS
13:18 <quchen>       | xQuasar: While I don't think anything is wrong with 
                     | faggots to the point where "faggot" isn't insulting 
                     | anymore, I assure you we have heterosexuals in our 
                     | language as well.
13:18 <quchen>       | Haskell is invariant under gender. Really!
13:18 <Iceland_jack> | quchen++
13:18 <merijn>       | I don't blame him, I'd be this angry to if I had to write 
                     | javascript all day too
13:19 <xQuasar>      | FUCK YOU STRAIGHT CUNTS
13:19 <xQuasar>      | BESTIALITY IS THE BEST
13:19 <quchen>       | merijn: Lol. And when I write that I mean it :D
13:19 <quchen>       | xQuasar: Do you have any specific questions?
13:20 <merijn>       | This is sort of like a puppy trying to be angry with 
                     | you...it's just kinda adorable to see him think he has 
                     | any effect :)
13:20 <quchen>       | xQuasar: You're offtopic right now. This is a Haskell 
                     | help channel. Do you have Haskell questions?
13:20 <quchen>       | xQuasar: We'd love to help you make your first steps.
13:20 <tsinnema>     | hey -- is there a proper way to whine about no one having
                     | responded to a question? :)
13:20 <xQuasar>      | i just want to get kicked out of a bunch of channels for 
                     | fun
13:20 <quchen>       | Have you seen LYAH? It's a very enjoyable book on 
                     | Haskell. It also has a reputation of being very 
                     | uplifting.
13:20 <quchen>       | @where lyah
13:20 <xQuasar>      | why is no one cooperating with me
13:20 <lambdabot>    | http://www.learnyouahaskell.com/
13:21 <tsinnema>     | in soviet russia, haskell learns a you
13:21 <merijn>       | tsinnema: Yeah, wait 30 minutes or more and try again :)
13:21 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: We are cooperating with you, you're just not 
                     | aware that your goal is learning Haskell
13:21 <ChongLi>      | xQuasar: why not learn some Haskell instead?
13:21 <xQuasar>      | alright i'll admit i lose
13:21 <merijn>       | Ha, sometimes I forget how hard it is to troll haskell :)
13:21 <nxorg8>       | #haskell is awesome :-)
13:21 <xQuasar>      | what's haskell good for though
13:21 <quchen>       | xQuasar: But there is so much to win here!
13:21 <xQuasar>      | i'm more into gamedev
13:21 <Iceland_jack> | figures
13:21 <arkeet>       | it's good for writing programs.
13:22 <xQuasar>      | what kind of programs?
13:22 <ChongLi>      | xQuasar: any kind
13:22 <arkeet>       | "what's C++ good for?"
13:22 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: The ones that run on comput-ars.
13:22 <ChongLi>      | it's a general purpose language
13:22 <luite>        | xQuasar: frp can be useful for writing games, and with 
                     | ghcjs you can compile them to javascript to make web 
                     | games
13:22 <tsinnema>     | merijn, yeah, seems reasonable :)
13:22 <ChongLi>      | seriously though, if you learn it you may completely 
                     | change your perspective on programming
13:22 <xQuasar>      | i have absolutely no idea what frp and ghcjs are
13:22 <snowylike>    | and there's HGamer3D....
13:22 <luite>        | i tested reactive-banana with ghcjs last week, works now, 
                     | and sodium was already supported
13:23 <ChongLi>      | that's okay
13:23 <xQuasar>      | I'm assuming haskell is nothing like c++, php and java? 
                     | because that's all i know so far
13:23 <luite>        | xQuasar: functional reactive progarmming, and a 
                     | haskell->javascript compiler based on ghc
13:23 <Iceland_jack> | Haskell is very different from C++ and PHP
13:23 <Iceland_jack> | (and Java…)
13:23 <merijn>       | tsinnema: As far as left union goes, I assume 
                     | (I'm not 100% sure) that it does union and inn case a 
                     | label is in both lists it keeps the value from the label 
                     | in the left list
13:23 <xQuasar>      | it looks difficult
13:23 <tsinnema>     | merijn, thanks -- that
13:23 <tsinnema>     | afaef
13:24 <ChongLi>      | xQuasar: even if you decide not to use Haskell in the 
                     | future, having learnt it you may find new things to apply
                     | in your other languages
13:24 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: C is difficult in a non-rewarding way while 
                     | Haskell is difficult in very rewarding ways, imo.
13:25 <quchen>       | xQuasar: It's a little about relearning how to program.
                     | Like learning a language from the other side of the 
                     | planet that turns out to work well in your homecountry ;-)
13:26 <xQuasar>      | i can't believe my attempt to troll has actually got me 
                     | convinced that i should give haskell a go
13:26 <xQuasar>      | i shall be back later
13:26 <xQuasar>      | to actually learn some haskell
13:27 <ChongLi>      | xQuasar: haha, okay
13:27 <xQuasar>      | but now i must rest my weary head and recover from my 
                     | cold o/
13:27 <xQuasar>      | Iceland_jack: you know, I wouldn't be surprised if you 
                     | were able to.
13:28 <xQuasar>      | Man, I tried to troll like 10 channels and I only got 
                     | kicked from #bitcoin-dev
13:28 <xQuasar>      | I'm probably the biggest failure of a troll ever.
13:28 <ChongLi>      | xQuasar: you may have had more success at a different 
                     | time of day
13:28 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: You'll make up for it by kicking ass in Haskell
13:30 <xQuasar>      | Alright thanks guys, I'll be back later to actually learn 
                     | some haskell for real

13:20 < xQuasar> why is no one cooperating with me

So cute.

I am going to start learning haskell now. :)

There was also a cute note later about haskellers' ability to sell Haskell to Jehovah's Witnesses:

 Iceland_jack   . o O ( feels like Haskellers would invite Jehova's witnesses in for tea just to proselatize Haskell to them )

Priceless

13:21 < merijn> Ha, sometimes I forget how hard it is to troll haskell :)

awesome!

13:21 < Iceland_jack> xQuasar: We are cooperating with you, you're just not
                      aware that your goal is learning Haskell

:) So good.

wat.

Nice community

Great responses!

:DD

👍

This is the channel that finally broke the troll's back. And converted the troll into an enlightened troll.

Magic.

I am wondering why I got little response when I asked a question in #haskell. Maybe I should try another time of day.

It actually convinced me too. Oh wait. Sigh...

This is a koan. Well, a long one.

👍 Now, we should lock the haskellers, the lispers, and the schemers in a room together, and see who can proselytize the best :-D.

👍 Now, we should lock the haskellers, the lispers, and the schemers in a room together, and see who can proselytize the best :-D.

No contest ;)

👍

Lol, maybe I should pickup haskell as a summer project, too.

This is stupid as fuck.

This is how you tame and convert trolls 👍

Us Julia proselytizers can hold our own with Haskell ones ;-) (I think a lot of us actually respect Haskell a lot, BTW)

Now I know what to do if another JW comes by the house - invite them in for tea and Julia!

Dude, that's so hilarious. Love it. I'm so mirroring this for my own use.

Did anyone ever follow up with <xQuasar> to see how it went? 😛

I think @ghost wants to learn Haskell too

So we need to coin fake-troll.
Where do I open my fake troll factory then? Maybe in Cambridge?

Actually you can open troll factories in #java.