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Trolling #haskell
13:16 <luite> | hello
13:16 <ChongLi> | somebody has a mental illness!
13:16 <merijn> | Wow...I suddenly see the error of my ways and feel
| compelled to write Node.js!
13:16 <genisage> | hi
13:16 <luite> | you might be pleased to learn that you can compile
| haskell to javascript now
13:17 <sipa> | @where ops
13:17 <lambdabot> | arjanb bos Cale conal copumpkin dcoutts dibblego dons
| edwardk glguy Heffalump Igloo jmcarthur johnw kosmikus
| Lemmih monochrom Philippa Pseudonym quicksilver roconnor
| Saizan shapr sjanssen ski wli
13:17 <lambdabot> | xerox
13:18 <xQuasar> | THEY CAN'T DO SHIT TO ME CUNTS
13:18 <quchen> | xQuasar: While I don't think anything is wrong with
| faggots to the point where "faggot" isn't insulting
| anymore, I assure you we have heterosexuals in our
| language as well.
13:18 <quchen> | Haskell is invariant under gender. Really!
13:18 <Iceland_jack> | quchen++
13:18 <merijn> | I don't blame him, I'd be this angry to if I had to write
| javascript all day too
13:19 <xQuasar> | BESTIALITY IS THE BEST
13:19 <quchen> | merijn: Lol. And when I write that I mean it :D
13:19 <quchen> | xQuasar: Do you have any specific questions?
13:20 <merijn> | This is sort of like a puppy trying to be angry with
|'s just kinda adorable to see him think he has
| any effect :)
13:20 <quchen> | xQuasar: You're offtopic right now. This is a Haskell
| help channel. Do you have Haskell questions?
13:20 <quchen> | xQuasar: We'd love to help you make your first steps.
13:20 <tsinnema> | hey -- is there a proper way to whine about no one having
| responded to a question? :)
13:20 <xQuasar> | i just want to get kicked out of a bunch of channels for
| fun
13:20 <quchen> | Have you seen LYAH? It's a very enjoyable book on
| Haskell. It also has a reputation of being very
| uplifting.
13:20 <quchen> | @where lyah
13:20 <xQuasar> | why is no one cooperating with me
13:20 <lambdabot> |
13:21 <tsinnema> | in soviet russia, haskell learns a you
13:21 <merijn> | tsinnema: Yeah, wait 30 minutes or more and try again :)
13:21 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: We are cooperating with you, you're just not
| aware that your goal is learning Haskell
13:21 <ChongLi> | xQuasar: why not learn some Haskell instead?
13:21 <xQuasar> | alright i'll admit i lose
13:21 <merijn> | Ha, sometimes I forget how hard it is to troll haskell :)
13:21 <nxorg8> | #haskell is awesome :-)
13:21 <xQuasar> | what's haskell good for though
13:21 <quchen> | xQuasar: But there is so much to win here!
13:21 <xQuasar> | i'm more into gamedev
13:21 <Iceland_jack> | figures
13:21 <arkeet> | it's good for writing programs.
13:22 <xQuasar> | what kind of programs?
13:22 <ChongLi> | xQuasar: any kind
13:22 <arkeet> | "what's C++ good for?"
13:22 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: The ones that run on comput-ars.
13:22 <ChongLi> | it's a general purpose language
13:22 <luite> | xQuasar: frp can be useful for writing games, and with
| ghcjs you can compile them to javascript to make web
| games
13:22 <tsinnema> | merijn, yeah, seems reasonable :)
13:22 <ChongLi> | seriously though, if you learn it you may completely
| change your perspective on programming
13:22 <xQuasar> | i have absolutely no idea what frp and ghcjs are
13:22 <snowylike> | and there's HGamer3D....
13:22 <luite> | i tested reactive-banana with ghcjs last week, works now,
| and sodium was already supported
13:23 <ChongLi> | that's okay
13:23 <xQuasar> | I'm assuming haskell is nothing like c++, php and java?
| because that's all i know so far
13:23 <luite> | xQuasar: functional reactive progarmming, and a
| haskell->javascript compiler based on ghc
13:23 <Iceland_jack> | Haskell is very different from C++ and PHP
13:23 <Iceland_jack> | (and Javaโ€ฆ)
13:23 <merijn> | tsinnema: As far as left union goes, I assume
| (I'm not 100% sure) that it does union and inn case a
| label is in both lists it keeps the value from the label
| in the left list
13:23 <xQuasar> | it looks difficult
13:23 <tsinnema> | merijn, thanks -- that
13:23 <tsinnema> | afaef
13:24 <ChongLi> | xQuasar: even if you decide not to use Haskell in the
| future, having learnt it you may find new things to apply
| in your other languages
13:24 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: C is difficult in a non-rewarding way while
| Haskell is difficult in very rewarding ways, imo.
13:25 <quchen> | xQuasar: It's a little about relearning how to program.
| Like learning a language from the other side of the
| planet that turns out to work well in your homecountry ;-)
13:26 <xQuasar> | i can't believe my attempt to troll has actually got me
| convinced that i should give haskell a go
13:26 <xQuasar> | i shall be back later
13:26 <xQuasar> | to actually learn some haskell
13:27 <ChongLi> | xQuasar: haha, okay
13:27 <xQuasar> | but now i must rest my weary head and recover from my
| cold o/
13:27 <xQuasar> | Iceland_jack: you know, I wouldn't be surprised if you
| were able to.
13:28 <xQuasar> | Man, I tried to troll like 10 channels and I only got
| kicked from #bitcoin-dev
13:28 <xQuasar> | I'm probably the biggest failure of a troll ever.
13:28 <ChongLi> | xQuasar: you may have had more success at a different
| time of day
13:28 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: You'll make up for it by kicking ass in Haskell
13:30 <xQuasar> | Alright thanks guys, I'll be back later to actually learn
| some haskell for real
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There was also a cute note later about haskellers' ability to sell Haskell to Jehovah's Witnesses:

 Iceland_jack   . o O ( feels like Haskellers would invite Jehova's witnesses in for tea just to proselatize Haskell to them )

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gsakkis commented Feb 1, 2014


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hamidr commented Feb 6, 2014

13:21 < merijn> Ha, sometimes I forget how hard it is to troll haskell :)

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schell commented May 8, 2014

13:21 < Iceland_jack> xQuasar: We are cooperating with you, you're just not
                      aware that your goal is learning Haskell

:) So good.

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nmalcolm commented May 9, 2014


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FranckyU commented May 9, 2014

Nice community

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Great responses!

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ghost commented Oct 8, 2014


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buccolo commented Oct 21, 2014


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avocade commented Nov 20, 2014

This is the channel that finally broke the troll's back. And converted the troll into an enlightened troll.


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notcome commented Feb 25, 2015

I am wondering why I got little response when I asked a question in #haskell. Maybe I should try another time of day.

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It actually convinced me too. Oh wait. Sigh...

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mrkgnao commented Oct 7, 2015

This is a koan. Well, a long one.

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jjbarr commented Mar 3, 2016

๐Ÿ‘ Now, we should lock the haskellers, the lispers, and the schemers in a room together, and see who can proselytize the best :-D.

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๐Ÿ‘ Now, we should lock the haskellers, the lispers, and the schemers in a room together, and see who can proselytize the best :-D.

No contest ;)

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ryukinix commented May 5, 2016


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rShetty commented Jun 16, 2016


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Lol, maybe I should pickup haskell as a summer project, too.

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ghost commented Aug 23, 2016

This is stupid as fuck.

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This is how you tame and convert trolls ๐Ÿ‘

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Us Julia proselytizers can hold our own with Haskell ones ;-) (I think a lot of us actually respect Haskell a lot, BTW)

Now I know what to do if another JW comes by the house - invite them in for tea and Julia!

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pabru commented Sep 5, 2017

Dude, that's so hilarious. Love it. I'm so mirroring this for my own use.

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Did anyone ever follow up with <xQuasar> to see how it went? ๐Ÿ˜›

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I think @ghost wants to learn Haskell too

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inoas commented Mar 23, 2018

So we need to coin fake-troll.
Where do I open my fake troll factory then? Maybe in Cambridge?

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sli commented Aug 27, 2018

Actually you can open troll factories in #java.

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rstorr commented Apr 24, 2020


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Sov-trotter commented Jun 9, 2020

13:21 | in soviet russia, haskell learns a you


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