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Trolling #haskell
13:16 <luite> | hello
13:16 <ChongLi> | somebody has a mental illness!
13:16 <merijn> | Wow...I suddenly see the error of my ways and feel
| compelled to write Node.js!
13:16 <genisage> | hi
13:16 <luite> | you might be pleased to learn that you can compile
| haskell to javascript now
13:17 <sipa> | @where ops
13:17 <lambdabot> | arjanb bos Cale conal copumpkin dcoutts dibblego dons
| edwardk glguy Heffalump Igloo jmcarthur johnw kosmikus
| Lemmih monochrom Philippa Pseudonym quicksilver roconnor
| Saizan shapr sjanssen ski wli
13:17 <lambdabot> | xerox
13:18 <xQuasar> | THEY CAN'T DO SHIT TO ME CUNTS
13:18 <quchen> | xQuasar: While I don't think anything is wrong with
| faggots to the point where "faggot" isn't insulting
| anymore, I assure you we have heterosexuals in our
| language as well.
13:18 <quchen> | Haskell is invariant under gender. Really!
13:18 <Iceland_jack> | quchen++
13:18 <merijn> | I don't blame him, I'd be this angry to if I had to write
| javascript all day too
13:19 <xQuasar> | BESTIALITY IS THE BEST
13:19 <quchen> | merijn: Lol. And when I write that I mean it :D
13:19 <quchen> | xQuasar: Do you have any specific questions?
13:20 <merijn> | This is sort of like a puppy trying to be angry with
|'s just kinda adorable to see him think he has
| any effect :)
13:20 <quchen> | xQuasar: You're offtopic right now. This is a Haskell
| help channel. Do you have Haskell questions?
13:20 <quchen> | xQuasar: We'd love to help you make your first steps.
13:20 <tsinnema> | hey -- is there a proper way to whine about no one having
| responded to a question? :)
13:20 <xQuasar> | i just want to get kicked out of a bunch of channels for
| fun
13:20 <quchen> | Have you seen LYAH? It's a very enjoyable book on
| Haskell. It also has a reputation of being very
| uplifting.
13:20 <quchen> | @where lyah
13:20 <xQuasar> | why is no one cooperating with me
13:20 <lambdabot> |
13:21 <tsinnema> | in soviet russia, haskell learns a you
13:21 <merijn> | tsinnema: Yeah, wait 30 minutes or more and try again :)
13:21 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: We are cooperating with you, you're just not
| aware that your goal is learning Haskell
13:21 <ChongLi> | xQuasar: why not learn some Haskell instead?
13:21 <xQuasar> | alright i'll admit i lose
13:21 <merijn> | Ha, sometimes I forget how hard it is to troll haskell :)
13:21 <nxorg8> | #haskell is awesome :-)
13:21 <xQuasar> | what's haskell good for though
13:21 <quchen> | xQuasar: But there is so much to win here!
13:21 <xQuasar> | i'm more into gamedev
13:21 <Iceland_jack> | figures
13:21 <arkeet> | it's good for writing programs.
13:22 <xQuasar> | what kind of programs?
13:22 <ChongLi> | xQuasar: any kind
13:22 <arkeet> | "what's C++ good for?"
13:22 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: The ones that run on comput-ars.
13:22 <ChongLi> | it's a general purpose language
13:22 <luite> | xQuasar: frp can be useful for writing games, and with
| ghcjs you can compile them to javascript to make web
| games
13:22 <tsinnema> | merijn, yeah, seems reasonable :)
13:22 <ChongLi> | seriously though, if you learn it you may completely
| change your perspective on programming
13:22 <xQuasar> | i have absolutely no idea what frp and ghcjs are
13:22 <snowylike> | and there's HGamer3D....
13:22 <luite> | i tested reactive-banana with ghcjs last week, works now,
| and sodium was already supported
13:23 <ChongLi> | that's okay
13:23 <xQuasar> | I'm assuming haskell is nothing like c++, php and java?
| because that's all i know so far
13:23 <luite> | xQuasar: functional reactive progarmming, and a
| haskell->javascript compiler based on ghc
13:23 <Iceland_jack> | Haskell is very different from C++ and PHP
13:23 <Iceland_jack> | (and Java…)
13:23 <merijn> | tsinnema: As far as left union goes, I assume
| (I'm not 100% sure) that it does union and inn case a
| label is in both lists it keeps the value from the label
| in the left list
13:23 <xQuasar> | it looks difficult
13:23 <tsinnema> | merijn, thanks -- that
13:23 <tsinnema> | afaef
13:24 <ChongLi> | xQuasar: even if you decide not to use Haskell in the
| future, having learnt it you may find new things to apply
| in your other languages
13:24 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: C is difficult in a non-rewarding way while
| Haskell is difficult in very rewarding ways, imo.
13:25 <quchen> | xQuasar: It's a little about relearning how to program.
| Like learning a language from the other side of the
| planet that turns out to work well in your homecountry ;-)
13:26 <xQuasar> | i can't believe my attempt to troll has actually got me
| convinced that i should give haskell a go
13:26 <xQuasar> | i shall be back later
13:26 <xQuasar> | to actually learn some haskell
13:27 <ChongLi> | xQuasar: haha, okay
13:27 <xQuasar> | but now i must rest my weary head and recover from my
| cold o/
13:27 <xQuasar> | Iceland_jack: you know, I wouldn't be surprised if you
| were able to.
13:28 <xQuasar> | Man, I tried to troll like 10 channels and I only got
| kicked from #bitcoin-dev
13:28 <xQuasar> | I'm probably the biggest failure of a troll ever.
13:28 <ChongLi> | xQuasar: you may have had more success at a different
| time of day
13:28 <Iceland_jack> | xQuasar: You'll make up for it by kicking ass in Haskell
13:30 <xQuasar> | Alright thanks guys, I'll be back later to actually learn
| some haskell for real
13:20 < xQuasar> why is no one cooperating with me

So cute.

I am going to start learning haskell now. :)

There was also a cute note later about haskellers' ability to sell Haskell to Jehovah's Witnesses:

 Iceland_jack   . o O ( feels like Haskellers would invite Jehova's witnesses in for tea just to proselatize Haskell to them )

gsakkis commented Feb 1, 2014


hamidr commented Feb 6, 2014

13:21 < merijn> Ha, sometimes I forget how hard it is to troll haskell :)


schell commented May 8, 2014

13:21 < Iceland_jack> xQuasar: We are cooperating with you, you're just not
                      aware that your goal is learning Haskell

:) So good.

nmalcolm commented May 9, 2014


FranckyU commented May 9, 2014

Nice community

Great responses!


ghost commented Oct 8, 2014


buccolo commented Oct 21, 2014


avocade commented Nov 20, 2014

This is the channel that finally broke the troll's back. And converted the troll into an enlightened troll.


notcome commented Feb 25, 2015

I am wondering why I got little response when I asked a question in #haskell. Maybe I should try another time of day.

GeertVL commented Apr 24, 2015

It actually convinced me too. Oh wait. Sigh...

mrkgnao commented Oct 7, 2015

This is a koan. Well, a long one.

πŸ‘ Now, we should lock the haskellers, the lispers, and the schemers in a room together, and see who can proselytize the best :-D.

πŸ‘ Now, we should lock the haskellers, the lispers, and the schemers in a room together, and see who can proselytize the best :-D.

No contest ;)

rShetty commented Jun 16, 2016


Lol, maybe I should pickup haskell as a summer project, too.

dikiaap commented Jul 30, 2016

<xQuasar> | alright i'll admit i lose sad


ghost commented Aug 23, 2016

This is stupid as fuck.

This is how you tame and convert trolls πŸ‘

Us Julia proselytizers can hold our own with Haskell ones ;-) (I think a lot of us actually respect Haskell a lot, BTW)

Now I know what to do if another JW comes by the house - invite them in for tea and Julia!

pabru commented Sep 5, 2017

Dude, that's so hilarious. Love it. I'm so mirroring this for my own use.

Did anyone ever follow up with <xQuasar> to see how it went? πŸ˜›

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